So me ad husband have finally decided to.go back to the uk. Husband actually decided. So finally some decisiveness.
This has been pushed by the peshawar attacks. Obviously
Now for the last 3 days he needs to " discuss" with his parents. They don’t know yet. Whatever the best way to tell.them without actually them getting.mad. I’m.sure they will be like oh much nahi hota. 18 million people live here etc.
Our main and only reason is our kids safety.
So want can we say. My husband is really nervous about telling them and making.me nervous too.
I need convincing arguments from us so his parents can just stop with the emotional.blackmail
Whatever you do don't let your husband put the blame on you to make you the bad guy. Guys do this a lot. To make unpleasant decisions they put the blame on their wives so their parents can blame the evil bahu instead.
Edit: okay, it's actually quite irrelevant if he puts your name forward because you will be blamed. So be prepared for some chaos.
When my BIL moved out, he sat his parents down and told them that they did not want to live in the joint family system and they would be moving out.
My hubby on the other hand was too scared. My mom told my parent in laws that she needed our help and support (emotionally) as she was going through a tough time. Thus, we moved in with my mom for a few months and shortly after got out own apartment and told everyone about it. Hubby told his parents that my studies were getting disturbed because of the little kids at their place. After I graduated, FIl hinted that we should move back in but we never really gave a response.
So me ad husband have finally decided to.go back to the uk. Husband actually decided. So finally some decisiveness.
This has been pushed by the peshawar attacks. Obviously
Now for the last 3 days he needs to " discuss" with his parents. They don't know yet. Whatever the best way to tell.them without actually them getting.mad. I'm.sure they will be like oh much nahi hota. 18 million people live here etc.
Our main and only reason is our kids safety.
So want can we say. My husband is really nervous about telling them and making.me nervous too.
I need convincing arguments from us so his parents can just stop with the emotional.blackmail
With the kind of relationship you have with your in-laws, I don't think you should be involved in coming up with a valid argument. Let your husband do it. Stay on the sidelines and feign surprise when he does.
well....when your children grow up and want to move farthest away from you, you will realize that there is no reason needed to feel the pain and worry of distance separating parent and child.
Bottom line is that love...im sure your husbands parents are smart enough to reason both sides, they just want to have the grandchildren and their child close to them in their old age.
The best and the smartest and the wittiest reason is not going to change how they feel, it might shut them up though. just a thought
Mom, dad:
We have decided to move to a safer place would you like to accompany us?
If they say they do not want to accompany you, then good for them. You are off the hook to move
Mom, dad:
We have decided to move to a safer place would you like to accompany us?
If they say they do not want to accompany you, then good for them. You are off the hook to move
thats really a dilemma. Is there anyone else living with them who could take care of them or check up on them? I don't know, I may be wrong but as I guy I would hate to leave my parents unattended if they are old. It would be ok if other people are living with them in the house but if you guys leave and they would be all alone then it must suck. But to each their own
If there is nobody to take care of parents and if they cannot go then once these guys move to UK they can afford to pay for domestic help for parents which is easily available in Pakistan.
That's not how it works sir. Parents can tell you that they invested everything they had in you and now they don't have any resources left to arrange that sort of a move. You get the things we could have done but didn't do because of you line.
If there is nobody to take care of parents and if they cannot go then once these guys move to UK they can afford to pay for domestic help for parents which is easily available in Pakistan.
That's not how it works sir. Parents can tell you that they invested everything they had in you and now they don't have any resources left to arrange that sort of a move. You get the things we could have done but didn't do because of you line.
It is not an investment which has an ROI (Return on Investment) for the parents. It has an ROI for the kids and the society. Parents are obligated to make sure that their kids are well take care of. It is duty of parents to make sure that their kids are well provided and turn out to be good members of society. Parents investing in kids is not same as investing in real estate.
It is not an investment which has an ROI (Return on Investment) for the parents. It has an ROI for the kids and the society. Parents are obligated to make sure that their kids are well take care of. It is duty of parents to make sure that their kids are well provided and turn out to be good members of society. Parents investing in kids is not same as investing in real estate.
No they are not. But I can't help but appreciate what my parents did for me, the sacrifices they made. And they too know their lives could have been better if they hadn't sent me to schools they could barely afford, fed me the best they could. The least you could do is stay close to them as they get older.
That said I do understand wanting to leave Pakistan, heck not like I stayed. The hopelessness just eats at you. The only people who're happy there are the ones who are insanely rich and well connected, everyone else is just stuck.
And what part of my post sounds mean to you Sir?
I imagined saying this to my mom. Hey, how about you stay here in this dump I couldn't stand, you'll have domestic help. Because I sure as hell won't take you or stay with you here. Didn't go to well in my head.
My mom keeps asking when I'm bringing her here, so this one is a bit close to heart. I can't cause I'm broke as hell right now and it ain't that bad because she is still young (late 40s ain't that old). This might be a reason why I over reacted and called your post mean. It wasn't that mean, it was more pragmatic than anything else.