Conversations before and after marriage

[Paheli00]

Re: Conversations before and after marriage

@LucyMay

Yeah, why exclude sex from the discussion topics? I find this completely hypocritical. One day you won’t say the word sex, the next day you’re sleeping together.
Some of my friends went to a pre-marriage counseling session at the hospital. It was a private session where a gynecologist explained fertility, contraceptives and common misconceptions. I mean honestly, how many soon-to-be-married desi folks are getting this info today? This info has more far-reaching impact on a couple’s life than any discussion on hobbies and interests.

Here is what I wrote with some important parts bolded in RED:

@Paheli00

In an arranged situation…I guess the only topic I can think of right that should be left alone during the engagement period are details related to sex. But otherwise…family, interest, religion, politics, hobbies, friends, children…pretty much everything else should be fine.

1. I never said sex should be totally excluded as a general topic. I specifically listed “children” as one of the topics that should be discussed…which means couple should definitely discuss things like how many children they would want, how long after marriage they would like to have children etc. By writing “DETAILS related to sex”…I was referring to general chatter about favorite sexual positions, “stuff” they’d like to do after marriage etc. Hopefully this clears it up.

2. As for being involved in educational discussions like the one your friends did…as Saeed mentioned already…couple doesn’t have to be together in order to meet with a doctor to learn about fertility, contraceptives etc. There is no need for both to be present when receiving medical facts. They can each meet with a gynecologist on their own, and then bring up relevant knowledge when discussing the “children” topic (of course, if they’re comfortable enough with each other to meet with a doctor together…nothing wrong with that either).