Controlling diet of your Child!

Lifestyle Parenting, Household Affairs and Cuisine corner
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Re: Controlling diet of your Child!

I have a comment regarding exercise. All children need about 60 minutes of physical activity a day, regardless of weight. This not only helps with weight management, but also strengthening of the muscles and bones, which is equally important in growing children. It does not have to be done all at once. Several short 10 minute (or even 5 minute) bursts of activity throughout the day are as beneficial as 60 minutes of continuous exercise.

Also, medically speaking (and contrary to popular opinion), very overweight children do not require more exercise than slimmer children. Their extra body weight means that they will naturally burn more calories for the same activity. In other words, there is no need to place the poor lass on a 4 hour exercise regimen. Encouraging her to engage in some sort of physical activity for 60 minutes will be enough to help her manage her weight (if there are no other issues involved, such a metabolic or endocrine disorder).

It is also important to note that if a child is not accustomed to being active (and that seems to be the case here), they may have difficulty transitioning from minimal or no physical activity to 60 minutes of daily activity. In such cases, the child should be encouraged to begin at the level of activity that they can do and are comfortable with and build up to 60 minutes a day. They are more likely to continue and maintain their new activity levels if it is a gradual process as opposed to transitioning abruptly from no daily exercise to suddenly exercising for 60 minutes and feeling sore the next day.

I would also recommend nutritional counseling. This would be to the benefit of the entire family, not only the girl herself. Learning about proper nutrition and healthy eating habits is something everyone can benefit from. After all, at 9 years old, it is rather likely that the girl’s parents or other family members are preparing most of her meals. By learning about appropriate nutrition, they can help her make healthier food choices, as well as, making healthier choices themselves. In addition to nutritional counseling, I have found that involving children in the preparation of food (in an age appropriate manner, of course) is also extremely helpful in encouraging healthy eating.

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Re: Controlling diet of your Child!

Not at all astounding to read an abundance of subversive comments. Been here for forty days, and I’ve only made one idiosyncratic thread - more than enough to indicate that this simply isn’t the place to ask for suggestions or guidance related to the least bit of my personal life. Authentic advice takes the backseat while brassy criticism, derogatory adjudication is the first meal being served. Initializing personal threads literally means setting yourself up for both evaluation and denunciation. I know your intention. It’s not like you reprimanded the child or destroyed her confidence.

People need to quit brewing issues based on trivial details. Fact is fact. It’s as it is. Naturally, we are a part of an aesthetic world in which appearance is the first thing our minds comprehend. Whether it be children, adults or elderly. There’s no denying it. As a guardian, you can enhance the child’s awareness of positive self image through encouragement, and also augment the physical appearance itself if you consistently supervise his nutrition and physical activity. Blindfolded by their child’s potential self esteem fluctuations, they even refuse to inwardly acknowledge their child’s imperfect weight and eating habits, and later find themselves disturbed when others are first to notice.

Reminds me of my five-year-old first cousin who was a bit too overweight. Doctors informed my aunt about his sky-high cholesterol levels, and diagnosed his predictable type 2 diabetes. Having to hear something like this for the very first time, I was precisely appalled. Being aware of my aunt’s busy schedule with household chores, two bratty kids, and her lack of mastery regarding health issues, I resolved to take the matter in my own hands. Now, did the thought of his weight ever cross my mind? ofcourse. Does that mean I was being extremely judgmental of him? Absolutely not. Do I love the child? Definitely. But was I going to sugarcoat everything to tell him he’s super skinny, make him entirely heedless and wait for the world to convey just the opposite? No. On that note, I didn’t discourage, or criticize him either. I picked him up from school, brought him to the park nearby and played soccer with him every single day for two months straight. I cut back on his processed foods [chips, high calorie sodas, cheap juices, candies]. He got to eat candy on Fridays. Excluding junk food, I let him eat proper meals to his utmost appetite. In two months, the child lost twenty two pounds. I only wanted the best of him. So in the long run, my involvement rescued him from all the upcoming negativity concomitant to bullying and complexes.

Queen, It’s actually sweet of you to demonstrate such a concern. Following a few months after your baby, you can ask her to be dropped over at your house. I’m sure you’ll be working on getting back in shape after delivery, so you can take her with you for a walk, introduce her to whole grains, unprocessed healthy foods. Both of you might benefit. Spending time with you, sustaining your support, and adapting to your lifestyle would certainly influence her, just as any child of that age. Speak to her parents and tell them you’re here to help. Yes it is and was her parents’ responsibility to begin with but if you haven’t seen a difference in the child’s appetite and daily routine, then there’s no harm in stepping up to the plate. They’d thank you for it.

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Re: Controlling diet of your Child!

Cashmere, very well said.

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Ho gaya masla solve? Ya baqi hay abhi kuch?

I can write a taveez for the individual

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Re: Controlling diet of your Child!

I think OP is right about being concerned at this age because she is close to puberty right now. And I’ve read different articles and watched documentaries that stated that it’s scientifically proven that having a healthy bmi during this time is critical for later years. Like it or not a higher body fat content causes significant fluctuations in hormones. And everyone knows how important they are (especially during puberty). They can really throw everything out I whack and that too for life. There are way too many things that can go wrong with women wherever hormones are related, and I don’t just mean conceiving kids.

And yes the OP wrote her whole essay as if she was talking to a really close friend who wouldn’t judge her for how she’s saying it but just listen to all the info provided and actually come up with a game plan to help her fix it. Notice she didn’t say omg that kid is so fat I wonder why parents dont do anything about it, and just leave it at that. Everyone keeps saying to let it be but she still wants to help somehow. I think she’s right in doing so as long as she can be tactful and find a good way to do it. Because seriously all parents are not so well versed in health issues, they don’t keep up with th latest scientific researches or discoveries. Everyone doesn’t know what glycemic index is and complex carbs vs. simple carbs etc. And I don’t think all parents would be aware that all her signs might indicate type 1 diabetes. So I don’t think it is a completely useless task that she’s trying to accomplish, some good may come out of it. The mom may get an outlet to vent and actually talk to someone about it, or get some useful information or direction to useful resources that may help her child. And I too feel that the child may have some sort of medical condition contributing to but not being the whole reason why the child eats so much. It might have made her start at some point but being a child and unable to identify problems and causes did not see it as a concern and just continued to increase her portion size. So everyone plz stop bashing the op and actually help her help the kid.

And I don’t know why everyone’s getting so touchy about the girl thingy. It’s a fact. Everyone here knows that perfectly good looking well educated well off girls are having trouble finding rishtas then ofcourse if u have a big weight problem it just puts u at the end of the line. U can’t really argue with that, I don’t think anyone starts rishta hunting looking for a heavy girl. Is that ok, I used heavy instead of fat? I was always skinny when I was young but my mom told me off once (later in private when we went back home) about going for seconds and thirds when we’re at someone’s place. (I was hungry at that time for some reason and I was taking small helpings so went back twice). Anyway aik dafa ka samjhana kaafi tha, after that I always ate takalluf say at someone’s house. Well I would never be hungry so I didn’t really need to eat like that but I had learned my lesson. Ofcourse the child that OP is talking about has other issues so I think her mom probably ghar say samjha k laikay aati Haen but still has to enforce the stop eating thingie when at someone’s place. She must really be in a difficult position, probably much more frustrated and at a loss than OP about the right way to tackle the problem.

And a side note, this whole media stance is so confusing. They keep saying positive body image and all that, but in plain words being fat is not healthy and generally not esthetically pleasing. So how do u teach two conflicting concepts. How can u be overweight, have a positive body image and think that u r being healthy at the same time. Be comfortable in ur own skin, love urself but lose weight, that’s what they try to push in the get healthy programs. They’re just all trying to be politically correct, just like everyone here is trying to push OP into rewording her thoughts (although no matter how much she rewords them, she will think them the same way)

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How do we know the child isn’t already in a waiting list to see a specialist or enrol into some special obesity fighting programmes? How do we know that mother isn’t already receiving all the relevant dietary information packs from her general practitioner? By the looks of it, the mother of the child certainly came across as a concerned individual who was very well aware of her daughter’s unhealthy level of appetite, and really that’s the bottom line. OP isn’t related to the child, it’s none of her business to act oh so concerned about whether someone’s nine (yes, 9!!!) year old daughter would ever find a good rishta. Honestly? And I thought “aunties” are the root of all evil in the world.

Obesity in young boys is as dangerous as obesity in girls, simply because obesity is a serious *medical *condition. There’s absolutely no reason to make it a total taboo haa haye for one gender and remain unmoved for another. As if a man would still be counted as the most eligible bachelor if he has type two diabetes , various health risks or any other chronic disease by at the age of 25 because he is/or remained overweight/obese for most part of his life? But seriously, there’s so much to life than being obsessed about bagging a good rishta. Let’s just worry about how we can raise our children to become healthy, happy and successful adults.

The OP clearly mentioned that she has no dooor dooor ki intention of talking to the mother then what right does she have to gossip about someone’s child, who was a guest in her house, on an online forum? She said the family came invited. Well I can assure you if the OP sends them a copy of what she wrote in her opening post, they won’t ever come to her house even if invited through an envelope wrapped invitation. You just don’t talk about someone’s child in a manner she did. Talk about issues not individuals.

PS: Since when ‘positive body image’ got translated as encouragement for obseity? In which country?

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Sometimes, things get lost in translation. I dont think English is the OP first language… which may/ may not be the reason why the the first post was indeed an uncomfortable read.

Secondly, MOST of us subconsciously develop opinions we would NEVER say out loud. These opinions dont always sound politically correct… they are what they are.

A family stayed with us for 1 month, their very overweight 5 year old literally couldn’t run from one end of the room to another with getting short of breath… and his mum would not control how much butter she used in a lot of his meals… we never said anything but 10 years on, he’s till overweight. These are educated folks instilling really terrible eating habits in their child and its just a sad sight.

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Re: Controlling diet of your Child!

  • the word “FAT” could easily have been replaced with the word “overweight” – this would have rendered the comment a little less insulting and offensive. to not acknowledge the misuse of language and insist that one is only addressing a fact of life is very misguided.

  • just because a parent is offended by a blunt statement doesn’t mean that they are not aware of the “reality” of things. it suggests that reality is hurtful and the truly wise ones would know how to deliver a message without hurting anyone. the mother of the child mentioned in the original post is obviously very aware of the problem her daughter is facing…it is apparent from her embarrassment…I wonder if the OP would tell that mother that her child is “FAT”…not chubby but really “FAT”? I doubt it. The question to ask is “Why?” Why would you not say that to her parent? Simply because it is hurtful. But it’s reality…isn’t it? So I challenge you to say it to the mother and see how long your relationship lasts after that point.

  • the fact that the concern is laser focused on female children is equally disturbing. if overweight girls have a problem getting good rishtay then that’s because of people that perpetuate the opinion that such girls are undesirable. Being a woman I would think a thousand times before re-reinforcing such “realities” and being a mom of a pre-teen that can be easy prey to such comments, I am floored that someone in this day and age would propagate such a mind-set.

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Re: Controlling diet of your Child!

True Muzna, I should have used Over-weight instead. I just didn’t use the word FAT as an offensive term. It just turned out to be. I didn’t know it can also be taken derogatory the way I didn’t know Paki was an offensive term. But all I am hurt and upset about is, how people pass judgments in seconds without realizing, may I not be aware of the word FAT used as an offensive term.

Also, If I ever get a chance to tell her mother about it (which she already knows but just to discuss how can we help her), I would be communicating in urdu and the word Moti is not at all offensive, at least to her. I know her.

I have read someone commented here that if I post the same thread to the mother, she won’t come to my house, that’s absolutely wrong. I know the kind of woman she is and I am well aware of the fact that she is not judgmental instead most of the times I am the only friend of her she is most comfortable with. Why I said, I wouldn’t be discussing dooor door tak is because I felt I should be helping the child without bringing that into her knowledge and without making her realize that what I am up to. I didn’t want to make her feel bad about her appearance. But provided the relationship between we two (mother and me), I wanted to place this problem here to be ready in advance with the answers or solutions because lately it has been happening a lot and I was doubting that sooner she will be discussing the problem with me. Most of my fellows came here very great replies. Cashmere and Mezghan and all those who took my concern positively and helped me with the solutions…I am so grateful to them!

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Re: Controlling diet of your Child!

How on earth are you gonna help this girl in any way without having her mom find out!!! Is this kid a family member who comes and lives with you???

I mean how r you gonna get alone time with this Kid?! She is 9 …not 18 … Who can just ell her mom" oh I’m going out to meet queen aunty. "

If my kid was 9.. they ain’t going to anyone’s house alone.

So really… I just don’t see how u will feed her healthy stuff, make her excercise, and all that good stuff without her mother finding out. :confused:

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She lives in my area. She sometimes drops her children with me. I know I can not take her to the walks at the moment but Cashmere has given me a really good suggestion about how can I help her later after my delivery. Because, me myself will be working on walks as well.

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Re: Controlling diet of your Child!

…double post.

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Re: Controlling diet of your Child!

Oh my…call someone ‘moti’ in their face and see their reaction.It is not at all polite…!!!
And this goes for all moti…kaali…choti..etc etc.All benign words on their own but never a good idea to throw at someone’s face.

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I agree. Calling someone Moti and laugh at their face is not at all polite. It’s so rude to make fun of others while using this word…
I am sure these sentences differ eachother…

Oho… itni moti lag rahi ho hahahah moti kahin ki… kitna khati ho…blah blah

and the other sentence

Yar, tum bohat moti lag rahi ho, you should drop some weight.

I think, a sensible person won’t mind the second comment instead will take it seriously.

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Hmmm…having had to deal with weight issues myself,yeah I never liked it…!It did not matter how old I was or how sincere the other person was,it was never liked.But then maybe that was just me.

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Re: Controlling diet of your Child!

Baji jaan… Not everyone is as confident as you.

Majority of ppl WIlL mind the term Moti if it’s a sensitive topic.for them.

Just.like you would if someone were to bring up a sore.spot for u.

P.s) cute how you think you will have the time for such activities post pregnancy… Awww.

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I can understand Chips6, probably that’s is why and what I was judged for. My bad I didn’t know it is used as an offensive term and can offend a lot of people but at least my tone in the thread could have make people realize that my intention to open the thread wasn’t bashing or insulting the child.

I am sure if I were your friend in real, I would be standing in front of you and pointing out at your motapa, you would have certainly judged, that its not what queen meant and instead judging me, you might have corrected me ke yar moti to na kaho and then it wouldn’t be a problem because my tone could tell you that my intention was not to offend you but maybe I didn’t realize that it was an offensive term.

A lot of people have skipped my second or third post in which I already mentioned to S02, that if that’s how I came across, that’s not what I meant, but ab kiya ker saktay hain..!!

Khatoon-e-aala aap ne bajaa farmaya… nazar aa gaya hay mujhay :hehe:
albatta uske aur mere darmiyan ye term bohat dafa use ho chuki hay, and she didn’t ever mind it.

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queenie…
the term “FAT” didn’t just turn out to be offensive…it is offensive. this did not just happen in this thread.

when we unintentionally do something wrong (e.g. use terms like fat or paki) without realizing that it is considered an offensive term, we should simply apologize and say that we did not know. the more we try to explain our innocence the more we appear to be “covering our tracks” rather than genuinely expressing disappointment in our own failing.

furthermore…when we are at fault first, we simply do not have room to persist in talking about our own feelings of hurt for being “judged”. (you were judged because you left room to be judged by using a term that is derogatory. nobody should have to apologize to you for your own lack of knowledge of terminology.)

personally I find the term “moti” offensive as well.
in my circle when we want to refer to someone as being overweight we use terms like “kaafi healthy” or “thori ziyada healthy” to keep from offending someone. we never use the term “moti”. it is considered crude. but that’s my circle…perhaps yours is different hence the “acceptable” language is also different…you should use whatever you feel would be least offensive to the mother if and when you choose to have this discussion with her.

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I respectfully disagree. The standards of how a girl of marriageable age should look like are set by women themselves. Kisi kaa beta chahahay kesa ho, bahoo should be dubli patli nazuk. Wedding and health forum of this site is full of threads by guppans who are looking for diets and other ways to lose weight, before marriage or after pregnancy - not because of health reasons, but because they want to look hot.

Moms of married girls have forced the thought in thier daughters mind that if you don’t look good and smart for your hubby, he will become interested in another woman. I have never seen that advice going to sons by thier moms that look good for your wife.

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Re: Controlling diet of your Child!

read my post again.
how is what I have said different from what you have posted? I am criticizing a “woman” for propagating the concept of dubli patli, naak pakro tau damm niklay larkiyaan.

you and I are both condemning women who perpetuate this “image”… aren’t we?

as for the chahay beta kesa bhi ho…I disagree. I have seen enough decent rishtay rejected by girls where the guy is over-weight. it’s not just the girls that get rejected.