I understand the OP is worried about the girl’s health but I am pretty sure the girl and her mother are aware of the weight issue. I would not want anyone speaking like that about my child and I was literally cringing every time it was said. Adults forget children are not as emotionally secure as them and even though the OP’s intention is to help her or raise the awareness, the delivery could have been more sensitive. Having a overweight child is difficult for the parent and child because the world is harsh and if the family will also torture the child about weight and be cruel in a intentional or unintentional way, it is either a eating disorder in the making or the child is hands knee deep down in it. One of my relative who constantly struggled with weight didn’t want her children to suffer so their family as whole ate healthier, splurged one day on guilty pleasures and exercised. It may have taken her a few years but both her children are in college and they are healthy eaters because they grew up on that. It is a hassle to cook and eat healthy when unhealthy options are available and are fast. I have a hard time picking something healthier from a fast food joint menu so I can imagine how as a parent, when you cannot cook at home you want the eating process to be done and over with on a busy schedule. There are so many reasons that other guppies have listed that may be behind a overweight kids and I understand that the society have not be kind to them but we can start by being at least sensitive and not blame the problem on just the child or the parent.
Re: Controlling diet of your Child!
[mod] Folks, let’s have a discussion without hurling personal insults, please. I know we are capable of it. [/mod]
Re: Controlling diet of your Child!
well there are two issues here.
- The child’s unhealthy eating problem, possibly what was meant to be highlighted.
- queen’s bumbling insensitivity, typical desi-aunty prejudice about girls, and the associated condescension - about 75% of the content of the original post.
Hard to post much about issue #1 when #2 is so in your face. and quite honestly, a bigger problem to most of us with kids who know how to deal with #1, which is “easy” when you have kids and learn to feed them.
Re: Controlling diet of your Child!
when you have your own child then you will see it differently
secondly childhood obesity is a big issue and does need to be dealt with you cant just sweep it under the carpert and act like its not happening..
Re: Controlling diet of your Child!
yes.
…me and the child I talked about earlier are like best friends. We would watch tv shows like ‘I used to be fat’ its an MTV show aimed at kids specially, where overweight and underconfident teens lose weight over the summer. It was entertaining and healthy habits were encouraged in the show, showing the benefits the kid felt of their journey losing excess weight and how they focused on their long term goal. He loved it and watching their progress! Plus we all know kids are at some level inspired by what they see on screen .. there was also a fun documentary called fat sick and nearly dead, its actually about juicing but its presented in a v fun basic and positive manner about a healthy lifestyle that he understood it and even chose natural juices over soft drinks when out 
bear in mind he is similar age to your girl …we did talk a little about how junk food ought to be limited as too much makes us sick, and we should ask mum first everytime we have sweets/crisps instead of help ourselves so his diet was monitored too..
Also we would playfight, use playstation move, go out walking together, and as his confidence grew he would play out with his friends. MashAllah hes so active now and also had a few growth spurts as kids do, hes turning out to be a healthy little gentleman imho..
Re: Controlling diet of your Child!
This is indeed one really helpful suggestion. I will surely make her watch that. Is it still running or I will have to download it. I can download it too. Thanks for coming up with a great idea. :k:
Im not entirely sure tbh, it used to be on now and then over the summer on MTV however it looks like its on youtube. Cant guarantee shell enjoy it but we did 
Re: Controlling diet of your Child!
Wait a minute Queen, you can’t just ask her to watch a show with the word ‘fat’ in it next time their family is visiting you. That might be a horrible way to approach even though you mean well for this girl. Once and if her mom gives you indication that she is looking for help then yes it would be a great idea to let her know about these shows.
Re: Controlling diet of your Child!
I’m sure her mom already knows about her weight. You shouldn’t say anything about it. There’s no point of this thread … unless this was your child and you were honestly worried about her well being and were looking for advice on making healthier choices for her. I really didn’t get the “fat girls don’t look good” comment. Sounds so insensitive.
“Stopping” her and controlling her diet is her mom’s job. You should be focusing on decorating the nursery or buying baby things or what ever else you want to do this close to having your baby!
Re: Controlling diet of your Child!
If you really care about this girl, why don’t you spend time with her. Take her out to the park, keep her mind off of food. Do other activities with her. Make her healthy meals. And slowly help her realize and get in the habit of eating around 3 times a day in normal proportions
How about getting her involved in some sport and taking her out with you, shopping etc so she stays active and starts to understand how people around her look and expect her to look.get her involved in some house work and make everything team work.
Now, now. I know what’s on your mind. That this is the moms job. You dont have time for that. Then leave it up to the mom to worry about this:)
Re: Controlling diet of your Child!
Queen this is a good opportunity for you think how you will raise your child from day 1. What kind of snacks you buy for your home. How frequently you will make vegetables. How frequently you will eat salads with your meals.
How healthy or unhealthy your everyday Salan is going to be. How often you will consume fruit during the day. What physical activities you as a family wants to get involved, how often you will take your child in open air to play, for a walk, or jog, etc.
Re: Controlling diet of your Child!
Don’t worry.. lol. I don’t intend to make her watch it the way it sounds… in front of her family or the next time they come. I will certainly make her watch it but sometime later and unintentionally. Also, when only two of us are watching tv and not her entire family.
Yes, the comment “fat girls dont look good” doesn’t look good. Might sound insensitive but we can not ignore the reality. Not saying it doesn’t make it good. Anyone would be able to correct anything once they know its not good. & no, it’s not only her mother’s job. If I could see, she is the one encouraging her, I would have kept quiet but I see in her behavior and eyes the way she gets embarrassed and by speaking to her at some point, I just want to make her feel that it shouldn’t be something she should be embarrassing about instead we both together can workout something for the little girl to make her quit her habits.
Re: Controlling diet of your Child!
The last line you wrote is an example of how misconceptions take place. Believe me, I read your entire post with a smiling face and thought to reply you with what a great idea you have suggested.. but in the end you just said, what I never thought even for a single second. That certainly was not in my mind
Re: Controlling diet of your Child!
Indeed. Not only for me but for a lot of others too.
Re: Controlling diet of your Child!
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Re: Controlling diet of your Child!
Queen…I totally oppose using the word “fat” for anyone. In my profession, I would be fired from my job if I used such insensitive words for a child or a coworker even in a casual discussion. My post has nothing to do with the argument going on here about you using the word fat. I am just addressing the topic of obesity. Please, stay on topic.
Thank you!
PS. I loved junk food as a teenager. My mother would force me to eat fruits. I love veggies but not big on fruit. However, when I was pregnant with my 1st child, I made conscious effort to change my life style, incorporate more healthy options even if I don’t like them. Alhamdulilah, it is working so far. I hope I will continue and not give when in stress.
Re: Controlling diet of your Child!
Even if used medically or positively? Because word “Fat” to me is a word to define someone who is over-weight. What else do you use then if you really feel someone is fat? I will appreciate you telling me and the next time I will try to replace it with the word Fat to make it sound decent.
I totally agree with your post script part.
Re: Controlling diet of your Child!
Medically, you never use the word fat. The words used is over weight. For a skinny person, under weight.
A doctor will say " you are x number of lbs over weight, you need to work on loosing some body fat by following exercises and xyz diet options."
or " you are xyz lbs under weight and you need to work on maintaining a healthy weight of xyz lbs by …"
Re: Controlling diet of your Child!
OK. The next time when I want to use it in a decent manner, I will use the word over-weight or obese.