This was posted in minah_pa’s thread about her clubbing experience, and since this deals with a kinda different issue so I thought I’d just separate it from that discussion.
(I have stripped off certain personal references in this post to keep it more general in nature)
As much as I’d like to believe this and agree to what Sarah has written, I think this is not quite true. Back in early 90’s when I was a student in Pakistan I have seen an extra ordinary high number of cases where college girls from pretty normal middle-class background would indulge in affairs, and in many cases sexual relations with guys. How do they do it? Its usually not open, as their families won’t allow it if they find out. These girls slip classes, make up excuses and alibis and go around. It generally starts with simple dates, and then progresses to more adventurous areas of a relationship. Neither religion nor societal values seems to be stemming the tide.
The guys from middle-class don’t have to be as secretive as girls, but thats because families don’t keep as many tabs on their boys as they do on girls. Plus guys have many ready-made and convenient alibis in the form of movies, cricket, pool, picnic with buddies and what not.
Bottom line is that pre-marital affairs and sexual liaisons in Pakistan are no longer the sole domain of rich and ultra-rich. At least in big cities, middle class has jumped into this with great gusto and zeal. Thats my impressions, which are about 2 years out of date. With what I see on Pakistani television channels now, the society seems to have gotten a lot more blatant and liberal since then. Feel free to disagree and debate.
Reading books from the 60s and then later from the Bhutto era, it seems such cases were common, we just kinda put a lid on it in the 80s. And then came the internationalized mass media and we couldn't anymore.
What I gather from reading posts above is that...
1) Wealth encourages 'promiscuity'.
2)It's easier to 'go astray' in west.....
3)But paks can figure out a way to have a relationship n keep it under wraps
Does that mean that everyone tends to be 'promiscuous' if they have the resources and uninhibitive environment?
Being wealthy or middle class is probably not as much a factor anymore whether kids will indulge in pre-marital affairs and sexual relationships in Pakistan. Its happening more and more across the social spectrum.
Its probably still easier to “go astray” in the West, always has been, but Pakistan is quickly catching up.
Miss_Mohabbat: I’d try to keep this discussion focussed on Pakistan and the points raised by SarahSplendor and to see if the situation has changed from what I recall, and if it has changed, then in which direction. Also what do people feel about the direction are youth are taking. If we expand the scope to whole world it will become a fairly counter-productive discussion. Plus, this is a generalized opinion. I am sure there are plenty of very pious and God-fearing youngsters in Pakistan too.
i agree with ahmadjee this sort of stuff was happening back in the 60's when our parents were doing college/uni stuff.. i know quite a few aunties and uncles who were into the clubbing/drinking scene in their teens. It's wierd knowing about it.. but im sure its always been there and it has nothing to do with how rich you are.. prob more to do with the company you're in
I personally don’t care much what any other person is doing in their bedroom or in someone else’s. What I am more concerned about is the idea that there are lots of people who do get jiggy before marriage, and wont bother to tell their future spouses about it when rishtas are being arranged or when they decide to do a love-marriage.
That’s the scary part. I am wishy-washy over whether I’d like to marry someone who has slept around a lot. Once or so, fine, if it was a mistake and they decided to never do it again until marriage. Mistakes happen. But some guys just deliberately do it. And with lots of different ladies…
Wouldn’t it suck if your husband had impregnated some girl who is out there and wandering around, rejected from her household, or maybe forced into getting an abortion?
Wouldn’t it suck if you married someone and they had an STD?
That’s what I’m more concerned about. The consequences. But no one thinks of those when they’re taking off their pants.
Jeez, they should distribute vibrators and other such toys in Pakistan to the school kids. :k:
I suspect there is a lot of peer pressure to coerce girls and guys into having affairs. That said, both girls and boys (from all social classes) seem to be jumping into pre-marital flings with great gusto.
of course sadzz. if you read again, I was talking about my own fears. I need not be afraid of girls whoring around because I don’t intend on marrying one.
Sex is no problem in Pakistan now a days. Even in small villages, condoms are sold on every parchoon ki dukaan. Young people (a lot o them) are having sex in fields and inside of the houses while they put their parents to sleep. I was sitting at a medical store in our village just to kill some time as the owner was my uncle's friend. A guy came there to buy some sleep medicine. Since the owner knew him, he asked what's up? Why do you need the medicine? He said he has to give it to his girlfriend who'll put it in her mom's lunch. While her mom's asleep, he'll go to her house and bam bam! This was in 97.
And there are many more examples. But the bottom line is: Everyone wants to do this kind of stuff only because others are doing it too.
