Have you noticed yourself changing direction in perspectives from conservative to moderate or moderate to liberal or other way around…?
I have my own opinion about things. I am conservative in some matter, moderate in others, and liberal where it is required.
Which one is the hardest to do?
I need to become liberal in few matters so I am being flexible about it. How is it going to impact me since my beliefs are different? Here is an example: What if a guy wants to change your dressing style? What if he wants you to wear clothes with more exposure? Is he is trying to show you off or what? I thought men don’t want their women to be looked at… lol
Re: Conservative to Moderate , Moderate to Liberal
I don't think the clothing bit is about wanting to show you off. It's most likely to do with personal taste. He may not find the more conservative style aesthetically attractive or he may simply think it doesn't suit you.
Re: Conservative to Moderate , Moderate to Liberal
How is it going to impact you since your beliefs are different? That depends, BB. If the reason behind your current way of dressing is another person, such as your parents....then maybe it won't be so hard to change your dressing style again for another person. If the reason behind the way you currently dress is Allah, then I think it will bother you more because the guy is basically asking you to place him/his wishes before Allah. If you have children one day, let's say a daughter, the way you dress will set an example for her. Weigh your pros and cons before deciding upon marriage.
Re: Conservative to Moderate , Moderate to Liberal
I don't think the clothing bit is about wanting to show you off. It's most likely to do with personal taste. He may not find the more conservative style aesthetically attractive or he may simply think it doesn't suit you.
It may or may not be, Mezghan. It's not an unreasonable possibility. Most Desi guys do not like their women (sisters, wives, daughters) ogled at by other men. Heck even some non-Muslim men will feel that way about their daughters if not their wives and sisters. And do you really think that a guy who KNOWS he has an attractive wife is unaware that she will receive quite a bit of attention from other men? Nope. Just like women who have very attractive husbands know that he will draw attention from other women. So a guy knows this. And a guy knows how OTHER guys think.....so he knows that wife will be receive greater attention if she bares more skin. Plus there are guys who want a "trophy wife" one who makes them the envy of other men.
BSB lives in the US. Even if you were to argue that maybe he just wants her to dress to "fit in" more with Western culture. When we want to fit in...we want others to notice that we fit in...so it's still involves drawing attention.
And if the Desi/Muslim social circle they belong to is more conservative, then exposing skin will draw THEIR attention.
Basically don't kid yourself Mezghan. The guy is not oblivious to the fact that people will ogle an already "hot" woman even more if she bares skin. Men are drawn to skin.
Re: Conservative to Moderate , Moderate to Liberal
Can I please get some HONEST and MATURE feedback from men!!! Why the hell would I want to wear clothes that are revealing? I always believed in covering yourself and all the exposing is for the husband... I think I am enough stylish with decency but this fiancee of mine DEFINITELY suggests me what would look good on me and BLAH BLAH? I have told him that I can show him in private but not in public. His answer was that everyone is so used to wearing these clothes in the west that nobody cares... I am trying to adjust and be flexible but I thought women needs to have some "haaya" ....
Re: Conservative to Moderate , Moderate to Liberal
Can I please get some HONEST and MATURE feedback from the men!!! Why the hell would I want to wear clothes that are revealing?
Could you post a few pictures of yourself in the said clothes so we could give you an honest feedback. Since the topic at hand is revealing clothes, the more revealing they are the better.
Re: Conservative to Moderate , Moderate to Liberal
It may or may not be, Mezghan. It's not an unreasonable possibility. Most Desi guys do not like their women (sisters, wives, daughters) ogled at by other men. Heck even some non-Muslim men will feel that way about their daughters if not their wives and sisters. And do you really think that a guy who KNOWS he has an attractive wife is unaware that she will receive quite a bit of attention from other men? Nope. Just like women who have very attractive husbands know that he will draw attention from other women. So a guy knows this. And a guy knows how OTHER guys think.....so he knows that wife will be receive greater attention if she bares more skin. Plus there are guys who want a "trophy wife" one who makes them the envy of other men.
BSB lives in the US. Even if you were to argue that maybe he just wants her to dress to "fit in" more with Western culture. When we want to fit in...we want others to notice that we fit in...so it's still involves drawing attention.
And if the Desi/Muslim social circle they belong to is more conservative, then exposing skin will draw THEIR attention.
Basically don't kid yourself Mezghan. The guy is not oblivious to the fact that people will ogle an already "hot" woman even more if she bares skin. Men are drawn to skin.
Did I tell you every woman in his family goes to the gym and he talks a lot about how women should keep themselves updated and fit! Therefore, the guys think of the spouses as the most beautiful women in the world because they have maintained themselves for the men.
Re: Conservative to Moderate , Moderate to Liberal
What exactly does he want you to wear?
Can't tell you the specific but definitely something I am not used to wearing in public. I don't even know if I will be comfortable even with him being next to me... However, he does require me to wear it occasionally.
Re: Conservative to Moderate , Moderate to Liberal
Did I tell you every woman in his family goes to the gym and he talks a lot about how women should keep themselves updated and fit! Therefore, the guys think of the spouses as the most beautiful women in the world because they have maintained themselves for the men.
buffalo again pond go
even if we were to buy all this, why would you ms. zumba for 5 yrs on salad diet have a problams?
your problem is how the gap between truth and fantasy just fades away the further you get into discussions. just stick to the truth, it'll all be simpler.
Re: Conservative to Moderate , Moderate to Liberal
Can't tell you the specific but definitely something I am not used to wearing it in public. I don't even know if I will be comfortable even with him being next to me... However, he does require me to wear it occasionally.
Does he want you to wear a revealing dress or something? I wouldn't wear anything I am not comfortable in but a nice not-so-revealing dress occasionally helps me feel all purrrrty. Why not just tell him you will spice it up with lingerie under your clothes (of your choice). No man will ever decline that counter offer.
Re: Conservative to Moderate , Moderate to Liberal
While I am sure that her fiance is not oblivious to that fact that BSB is attractive and that this will draw attention, it doesn't necessarily mean that he is blatantly trying to show her off. BSB may quite like how she dresses and think she is stylish but her fiance may not as everyone has their own idea of what is stylish. It may be as simple as that.
Maybe the gentleman just doesn't like how she dresses! I'm not sure why we always have to complicate matters and give everything some deep religious or psychological underpinning. As Freud said, "sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."
Re: Conservative to Moderate , Moderate to Liberal
Can I please get some HONEST and MATURE feedback from men!!! Why the hell would I want to wear clothes that are revealing? I always believed in covering yourself and all the exposing is for the husband... I think I am enough stylish with decency but this fiancee of mine DEFINITELY suggests me what would look good on me and BLAH BLAH? I have told him that I can show him in private but not in public. His answer was that everyone is so used to wearing these clothes in the west that nobody cares... I am trying to adjust and be flexible but I thought women needs to have some "haaya" ....
I think most guys will agree and understand your position, and you don't have to do what you are not comfortable with. Some guys DO act a bit weird though. I was with a colleague on a trip, we went out for shopping, he bought clothes that would leave nothing to imagination, it seemed odd since he is a conservative person, then he goes on to say, he is buying it for his wife. And I was like, dude, you dont have to buy them shopping with me, and even if you did, you don't have to explain to whom they are for.
Re: Conservative to Moderate , Moderate to Liberal
While I am sure that her fiance is not oblivious to that fact that BSB is attractive and that this will draw attention, it doesn't necessarily mean that he is blatantly trying to show her off. BSB may quite like how she dresses and think she is stylish but her fiance may not as everyone has their own idea of what is stylish. It may be as simple as that.
Maybe the gentleman just doesn't like how she dresses! I'm not sure why we always have to complicate matters and give everything some deep religious or psychological underpinning. As Freud said, "sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."
I agree with that. I have seen many women who love the way they dress no matter how tacky their style seems to others. They just don't see it. It may be her fiance's way of saying she needs to change it up a bit but his point is not sinking in.
