conservative hubby

sammi4ever · February 12, 2015, 4:16pm

Re: conservative hubby

He accepted her as she is now he is breaking his contact , she did not promise that she is going to change to his vision that is why she told him everything about her. She is not breaking any promise.
I am keeping religion out of this because she does not have strong bond with religion anyway. So at this point religion is not a game changer for her. The only thing which can work with her is love , compassion , a lot of nurturing. He made compromises before the nikha he has to be make lots of compromises if he is committed to her and his religious beliefs. Nothing else is going to work in this situation other than she wakes up one fine morning and realizes that she is wrong and he is right and she loves him so much that she wants to do everything his way. This kind of chemistry and spark is not present in this marriage made in hell.
She is asking how to deal with a hubby who is conservative and who knew what he is getting into but now he is back paddling. The simple answer is give in to his demands that is what her parents wanted too. Argue with him about him being wrong she being right and convince him ultimately that her way is the right way. Middle of the road approach for her is to be responsible wife, responsible daughter and responsible muslim and make some compromises. Like stop eating jhatka in Canada finding decent halal food is not so difficult. Do not get any more tattoos. Stop going out with male friends and hang around female friends only how difficult it is to do so. Looks like the problem here is not what he is asking for the problem is the way he is asking for and the stage he is asking at. He thinks that nakha nama has given him ownership rights to her life and lifestyle , love shove is all bakwas , he thinks he loves her so it is enough for her to change for him.

This is soo on point. I dont mind eating halal and not hanging out with guys. I mind him trying to shove his viewpoint on me. I mind him giving me an opinion and expecting me to follow through on it and not make my own opinions. I mind him trying to make my voew by himself and not letting me develop and make my own viewpoint. I mind him making ALL the decisions without taking my points into cconsideration. I mind him being a hypocrtie. I mind him for always trying to get his way and not even try to meet me halfway cause i am always wrong and he is always “right”.