conservative hubby

Reha · February 11, 2015, 8:15pm

Re: conservative hubby

Reha,
Very humbly I would say that you are missing a lot here. She said he accepted her with all this before nikah. He knew she was raised in West, she has no problem eating jhatka, he knew she had tattoos, he knew her upbringing is very liberal.
Now all of sudden after the nikah “husband ko eman key light nazar aa gai aur uss key ankhain khul gain”. Now he wants to bring her to right path by reminding her of her duties as a wife which in his mind it to obey all his commands unconditionally. It is very unfair with her. If he wants to change her he has to win her heart and mind then he will not have to remind her of any wifely duties. He wants to use coercion to change her that too, long distance. It ain’t going to work and it ain’t happening. He is behaving like a jahil husband. She is still a teenager (mentally) this strategy of his is not going to work with her she is already rebelling against even the religion he believes in and she has serious doubts about religion.
Obviously she for some reason took this marriage to be some kind of fun and game , some kind of glamour, now since the game is over and the reality is setting in she needs to be inducted into this reality with lots of love, care and nurturing. If he cannot do that then I do not see this relationship going a long way , I pray to Allah that I am wrong in this vision of mine.

True. He did accept her this way before marriage. But I don’t see his requests as suppressing or crazy as OP is making it out to be.

I think the OP comes across as somewhat selfish…and if she truly is that selfish, she’d have made a better choice for herself in a life partner.

He is not right but I guess I fail to see how that releases her from her responsibility to make good choices…to take shaadi seriously…to honor commitments…to realize that marriage is not a mere friendship…etc.

Life before marriage and after marriage is DRAMATICALLY different…no matter how many guarantees you ask for…there are none aside from the pact you make with Allah swt to make it work.