confused!!!

diwana · January 28, 2012, 3:41am

Re: confused!!!

Diwana and Edal

Just one quick question for you guys who are so much in favor of keeping that girl in Pakistan, can you answer some simple questions:

Do you even know how step moms treat their children in Pakistan?
Do you even realize when that poor little girl’s dad will be gone how alone she will be?
Do you know how hard it is for children who are born and raised in western countries to adjust in Pakistan?
Do you think a guy who already has 4 DAUGHTERS how he will be taking care of 5th one which is hardly accepted by Pakistani society?

And last one if she lives in psycho environment of Pakistan how she will turn out to be with all those step mom beating and totally thrown like a trash.

You are talking about how bad single moms are in Western Society but did you even notice how bad Pakistan’s society is where step children are treated like trash. No daddis and phoopis give them love and she will be alone.

You have asked valid questions.

I think these questions have to be asked from the father. it seems we are judging his actions based on out understandings of situation. But he is the one who knows both kind of situations. He decided to take his daughter away for some reasons he thought would be for a greater good for his daughter.

Especially in Pakistani social structure, (or even in any outside Pakistani culture), man CAN have a stronger role and stronger input how his kids are brought up. Women do have their roles but they can be overridden by a man relatively easily. If the guy has a strong will, he would make sure his daughter gets treated well.

Step mothers and Cinderella type stories can occur but if the man has strong role in the house, these problems can be mitigated.

In your bold part you have only generalized but have not proven by any good statistics. Not denying it, but one cannot go over board to make a point.

Bait Bazi Month of June 2008

You brought the studies in question to the table and you have stated that you agree with them…hence the questions are posed to you. You really shouldn’t raise material that you are not willing to either support or defend.

**I posted what I considered good studies. Anyone who does not agree should the job of posting something to contrary.

It is like:

A Christian should cite Quran to make a point and a Muslim should give references of Gita.
**

I am not asking you to do the leg work for anyone else. I am merely asking you to be fair and present both sides of the coin.
Certainly if you are confident that your argument is correct then you will have no issues in presenting the other side as well. Of course if the evidence proves otherwise then I can understand your hesitation…

**Again, why is there a need for me to present and search ANYTHING which I do not agree with?

I mean there is no need and NOT any hesitation.

Let’s see what any contrary evidence is out there.**

Frankly your restaurant example was flawed to begin with because it simply does not apply to the situation being discussed. The analogy doesn’t fit. How can you compare taking a child away from its mother with a restaurant serving contaminated food? Were you suggesting that certain female members of society should be licensed to have children? In that case we have a completely different thread of discussion here.

I gave restaurant example to answer the qustion on sample size and to make it easier for reader to understand how studies on possible causal relations is conducted. Nowhere I said restaurant example was directly related to any child taken away. Hope that helped.

I was merely humoring you and loosely applied the theory that you have to consider all factors when you decide what the cause of the sickness was in the 100 ill.

**Yes, I got that when I read your answer. **

Ahhhh…so it may happen and does happen. How do you know this?

It can happen if single mother has extra support including financial support. Your own referenced study suggested that. Please read below also for detail.

.

OK.

This study actually deals with single versus both parents and not specifically looking for ‘single mothers’ effects on their children especially the girls.

Whatever you posted has only dealt strongly with “substance abuse” issue and later general talk about conflicts in the household etc.

Even then the rate of substance abuse was admitted to be lower in this study. Yes one percent but with 22000 sample size that can be a big difference.

Now to refute her All I have to do is to bring this study.

Shanta R. Dube, “Childhood Abuse, Neglect, and Household Dysfunction and the Risk of Illicit Drug Use: The Adverse Experiences Study,” Pediatrics 111, (2003): 564-572.

Bella DePaulo Only tried to show that somehow single parents don’t do so bad compared to married couples. A very weak attempt against many strong evidences out there.

This study confirms which I already said above a “Acceptable Scenario”. A single mother who is well off and has other supports and efforts.

Also as per this study, single mothers are less advantageous due to financial burden and they have to have some other means to support children.

You posted:

"The biggest differences between single mothers and single fathers had to do with various background characteristics such as income, education and occupational prestige. “For nearly every demographic and background characteristic that we measured, single mothers were disadvantaged compared with single fathers,” Downey said.

This suggests that children living with single mothers would be more successful if the mothers were better off financially. “Parents with higher socioeconomic status are usually better positioned to create positive family environments,” Downey said."

**And in my post # 68, when I posted Ann Coulter book, it said:
**
“A 2008 study led by Georgia State University economist Benjamin Scafidi found that single mothers – unwed or divorced – cost the US taxpayer $112 billion every year.” – P.51

Same thing. Right?

Not sure why in post 132 you used this smiley when you also used a search engine. We are communicating via internet and nothing wrong in using a search engine.