you what..... he expects me to take care of him like a child.... as he is the youngest one .. and spoiled as well... so he expects the same from me .. even though i do alot stilll....... jab main gher aya tum ne paani ka nai poocha?? meri woh wali shirt abhi tak press nai hoi? main ne phone kiya to tha ... khana table per kion nai???? :( no metter how hard i try... something goes wrong. what ever i do is never good enough... it makes me feel as if i am even unable to take care of my home my family..... :(
^OMG your husband seems to be an identical twin of mine..and i thought that it was only me living with a 'master-piece' ! I had TOTALLY given up on trying to make things better but after reading this thread,i think i should give it ANOTHER last try(though i am okay with the situation now since it doesnt bother,hurt or disturbs me anymore that he has turned out to be this kind of a person-mine is a (blind)love cum arranged marriage too)
thanks all
OHH really???? yeah do give it another try... may be last.... zindagi guzer to jati he hay behter hay is ko jiya jaaye... nai?
you what..... he expects me to take care of him like a child.... as he is the youngest one .. and spoiled as well... so he expects the same from me .. even though i do alot stilll....... jab main gher aya tum ne paani ka nai poocha?? meri woh wali shirt abhi tak press nai hoi? main ne phone kiya to tha ... khana table per kion nai???? :( no metter how hard i try... something goes wrong. what ever i do is never good enough... it makes me feel as if i am even unable to take care of my home my family..... :(
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat???!!! Excuse me! He is not a child so why should he be treated like one?! Dont you already HAVE children at home? You arent sitting around all day, this is really not fair to you and Im sorry to hear about it.
Khana table pe isliye nahin hai kyun aap unki naukrani nahin hein! Shirt press isliye nahin huwi kyun ke apka dil nahin chaha!
Listen hun, if you do these things because you LOVE your husband and want to go an extra mile because you appreciate him, its a different story. When a man expects his wife to wait on him hand and foot, I dont agree with it. No way.
My sister is married with a kid and her husband irons his own shirt in the morning. She makes him a quick breakfast, lunch and sets him off for the day. When he comes home, they have dinner and he takes care of the baby for the remainder of the day. Its THEIR life, not just his or hers. Its their child, not just hers.
You've got to get out there and make him understand he is not a bachelor anymore. If he has friends and interests, so do you. Have fun, enjoy yourself, develop your own life, etc. Men like a woman who has a plan for herself and doesnt depend on a man for everything. Confidence, self-esteem, goals, happiness, etc are very attractive traits. :)
He won't change (as Hareem said) I agree with that. I'll add
He won't change so live with him or leave him if you don't have kids.
You need a companion you are not an ornament kay ghar main la kar daal lia aur kaam khatam. Khana, kapr sub kuch to khud bhi kama kar kar saktay hain agar companion naheen to phir kia faida beganon ki tarha aik chhut kay neechay rehnay ka.
Sari zindagi sehnay say achcha hain insaan shuru main hi chor day. It's only my understanding. You can understand better than me.
Stop giving him any lift. Don't care about him. Ignore him. Get yourself busy in things which you like to do or which makes you happy.
I have been married for 5 years and i am 30 years old and I am in the same situation. I don't have kids and will never be able to have kids either because of my husband.
My family actually wants me get out of my marriage but I don't have the strength to do it . I do love my husband very much but we don't have any understanding between us. Sometimes its hard to imagine living like this for the rest of my life.
Sahar, I know how it is to feel that you dont have the strength to do what you really should do....I was in an unhappy marriage too and wasted 10 years of my life. Well, not really wasted - because I spent that time focusing on my career since there was nothing happy at home. But once I found the strength, I went on to meet my prince charming and have 3 lovely boys. I kick myself sometimes for wasting so much time...but then I may not have married my prince...so anyway, the thing is that my life turned rosy once I took the actions that needed to be taken.
You CAN do it. Its hard, surely...but you CAN do it!!
Sometimes we get so involved in marriage or relationships we forget ourselves? Does that make sense?
Men dont like women who chase them and bug them to do things together. They have to chase you and want you...it sounds so primitive but thats what it all boils down to.
The best way is to get involved in your own life. Get out and leave the kids with him for a night to be with your friends, hang out with your family, take a class, paint, draw, community service, volunteer work, etc. Make him realize you're more then just a baby-making machine. He wont respect you or your time otherwise.
PSquared, I agree with you a hundred percent. When you start doing your own thing and he sees that you have other interests beside being on his case and nagging him constantly, believe me he will automatically wanna know where you've been without telling him first, and then you can take that as a chance to say well why dont you tell me what you've done all day and then ill tell where i've been all day, and there you go, you got yourself a half decent conversation out of the guy. Or maybe im being abit too optimistic and it wont go as easily as all that but anythings worth a try if your desperate.
i would like to thank all of you who tryed to help me out with my this problem i got some very use full tips and new ideas that in future i will try to work on .to make our relation ship better and better.... thanks alot once again... wish you all a very happy life :)
Have you tried to just talk to him? Maybe get someone to watch the kids, plan a date night and just open up and tell him you want to re connect? And then plan things together, activities you both enjoy?
sadia! dont you think i ever tryed to explain how i feel??? yeah i did i few times but his answer mostly is.......NO there is nothing like what you say. i do talk to you,i always listen to you... i never stoped you from any thing, we do go out together and you are having a perfect life.... and what ever you say is nothing but made up rubbish ....... (as if i am stupid ,pagal, crazy saying things i dont feel,crying for nothing)
there is simply no way i can talk to him.
but fortunatly.. his behavoiur has changed a little in these last few couple of days how? why? i dont know... but i still am trying to understand that.
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