salamz to all,
i dont know how to start… there are so many things going on in my mind right now… i am confused.. sad and lonly… cant talk to any one…cuz no one understands my feeling,they have there own point of views. and that is why i am here.. you people dont know me and dont know my husband so i thought you culd give me a better advice.
now i come to the point. i understand no person is perfect.. my husband has some bad habbits but he has got some good points too… and its the same with me,so i think its use less to talk about who is right and who is wrong. the thing is when we both are together we have a have a GOOD RELATIONSHIP for both of us and our kids. when we got married we were so much in love with each other.. i thought i was the most lucky person on this planet earth. but now after all these years i feel like we dont even know each other.. we still love each other… but married people would understand better what i mean… its not only love that life is all about.. a couple needs to understand each other its important to be able to discuss things with each other… and we hardly can do that… he is not a good listner he necer has time for that .. talking makes him sleepy or sudunly he has some thing very important to do .. i am not the one who could make a fight and MAKE him listen to me.. we never fight cuz i never argue.. he is the only one who decides every thing no metter if i agree or not. from smallest issues to biggest … he decides every thing. i have kids and i stay busy with them but inside.. i feel so lonely i miss someone to talk to. i loved poetry i used to write poetry too i love art painting .. rain.. flowers … but he is never interested, i have friends i have family .. but i want and i need HIM to listen to me to talk to me. to tell me all what he did at the job what new happend. about books about currunt affairs… any thing.. he can spend all weekend with his friends eating and talking together.. why not me??? life seems to me as if i am living with a nice roomate who has his own life.. i want to know .. is there some thing i could do about it.. or i should eccept . this is the life i am going to live.. 
… or is it me expecting too much?
Wo shayad aap say ukta ya bayzaar ho gaya hai.
Ya aap ki kuch adatain aur batain ussay pasand naheen.
Itni ummeed na rakhain kay poori na honay pay takleef ho.
Wo naheen sunna chahta aap ki baat to aap bhi ignore karain sananay say.
Jub wo mood main ho tub thora bohat suna lain jo aap sunana chahain.
Find out ussay aap ki kon si baat ya adat buri lugti hai?
He might be busy in her work or doing a hard job.
Kuch larkay aisay hotay hain jo doston main ziada rehna pasand kartay hain. wo yaron kay yaar hotay hain. unko aurton wali batain aur harkatain pasand naheen hoteen itni.
Us ka interest daikhan kis main hai wo kaam karain.
Wo shayad aap say ukta ya bayzaar ho gaya hai.
nai aisa bhi nahi.
Ya aap ki kuch adatain aur batain ussay pasand naheen. main ne khud ko bohot badla hay... waisa bana liya jaisa us ne dekhna chaha.
Itni ummeed na rakhain kay poori na honay pay takleef ho.
koshish to bohot kerti hon... sab umeedain khaddam ker laina bhi to aik takleef deh amal hay . nahi kiya?
Wo naheen sunna chahta aap ki baat to aap bhi ignore karain sananay say. yahi to ker rahi hon.
Jub wo mood main ho tub thora bohat suna lain jo aap sunana chahain. ye bhi kerti hon.
Find out ussay aap ki kon si baat ya adat buri lugti hai? hmmm .
He might be busy in her work or doing a hard job. not really.
Kuch larkay aisay hotay hain jo doston main ziada rehna pasand kartay hain. wo yaron kay yaar hotay hain. unko aurton wali batain aur harkatain pasand naheen hoteen itni.
harkatain???
Us ka interest daikhan kis main hai wo kaam karain.
us ka interest hay ke apney kaam se kaam rakho... and thats what i am doing...
Re: confused!!!!!!
I think it may help if instead of saying, "Lets talk," you guys create activities to do together adn discover things about yourselves and each other, letting the conversation flow naturally. Play board games, go out for bowling or skating; share fun activities together. I hope this helps.
At a time when he is usually at home and u r usually at home, make it a regular habit to go out on your own WITHOUT HIM at least once a week, preferably twice. Leave the kids with him.
Go out for at least 2 hours, 3 or 4 would b better.
Of course don't just do this in a huff. Tell him this is what u r going to do. TELL him, don't dilly dally and wilt like a daisy if he says no the first time.
Sounds like u need some kind of interest outside the house yourself. U need a distraction to stop this internal strife.
If u like poetry, painting etc, c if u can join an evening class or something, that will b your time.
Also it seems the husband may b taking your presence in the home for granted, so if u go out, he will begin to appreciate u.
us ka interest hay ke apney kaam se kaam rakho... and thats what i am doing...
Hmmmmmm.
To rakha karain na apnay kaam say kaam. Don't give him a lift.
Re: confused!!!
I have the same problem dear… thats why i opened the thread “husband kay saath kya karna chahiye”
Everything is more important than me, tv, work, collegues, doesnt discuss or talk, always tired and busy and bas he will ask how were the kids today and then will go to sleep 
Best of luck, try making him his favourite foods 
love goes through the tummy 
Re: confused!!!!!!
Was it ur lov marraige?
thats y ppl say they gets change aftr Marriage
At a time when he is usually at home and u r usually at home, make it a regular habit to go out on your own WITHOUT HIM at least once a week, preferably twice. Leave the kids with him. .
I don't think her hubby's gonna babysit the kids even for few hours.
Person with no name
He won't change so live with it.
lolz…and by feeding him lots of food everyday turn his tummy into bari si taund. 
I think this type of behaviour is normal in married men not that I’m complaining.
Please don’t say that 
Re: confused!!!!!!
koi faida Nahin..some people are just this way..I am in a similar situation too..nothing has changed after numerous arguments and fights..I have tried talking about this issue directly and indirectly but it has been totally useless!i guess it is his nature.nothing can be done except compromise and tolerance.
Re: confused!!!!!!
Have fun with your friends. Talk to them , chat with them. Spend time on GS. You will be fine.
Re: confused!!!!!!
I'll be straight with you. You are expecting way too much from him.
If YOUR interests are painting, writing, - what does he have to do with that. Pursue you passions and dreams with or without him.
You cannot replace his friends, his parents. They have their own place. Just as his friends cannot replace you. You have your own place.
I think you have LOST yourself. Find what makes YOU happy
Re: confused!!!!!!
Sometimes we get so involved in marriage or relationships we forget ourselves? Does that make sense?
Men dont like women who chase them and bug them to do things together. They have to chase you and want you...it sounds so primitive but thats what it all boils down to.
The best way is to get involved in your own life. Get out and leave the kids with him for a night to be with your friends, hang out with your family, take a class, paint, draw, community service, volunteer work, etc. Make him realize you're more then just a baby-making machine. He wont respect you or your time otherwise.
Re: confused!!!!!!
Every woman who complains that her husband does not listen to her, or talk to her... should read "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" and every man who thinks his wife is speaking another language should do the same.
Signed,
SU
i do understand that… some times i think all men are same??? they can not understand how we really feel… but then i meet his friends families there kids say ..our dad takes us to swimming every weekend… wife says we love watching movies together… blah blah.. it makes me feel like aah! no no its not true about every one.. yeah may be many of them are the same kind.
well i do try making his favourite foods… he says thatnks it was nice. thats it
Re: confused!!!!!!
^
Atleast he says thanks. A large number of husbands would assume this to be a 'duty' of a wife. (JK).
Men are all not same and so there's no 'cook book' or 'instructions manual' that would guide you into his heart!
At a time when he is usually at home and u r usually at home, make it a regular habit to go out on your own WITHOUT HIM at least once a week, preferably twice. Leave the kids with him.
Go out for at least 2 hours, 3 or 4 would b better.
Of course don't just do this in a huff. Tell him this is what u r going to do. TELL him, don't dilly dally and wilt like a daisy if he says no the first time.
Sounds like u need some kind of interest outside the house yourself. U need a distraction to stop this internal strife.
If u like poetry, painting etc, c if u can join an evening class or something, that will b your time.
Also it seems the husband may b taking your presence in the home for granted, so if u go out, he will begin to appreciate u.
- he never stayed alone at home with kids.. and will never do that. 2.yes i have been taking classes and will continue again... its not the solution to my problem but you are right it helps