ok so you mean i should leave the things as they are????
No , I want you to work on it and under the circumstances that seems to be the only way to claim your family life which you and your kids very well deserve. Have fun with kids once he sees that kids are fond of mama he would want to be part of it.
Once he sees you are having fun , he will want to share that fun with you. Slowly and gradually bring it to the point where he would see that you are such a fun person then he would like to share that fun too. It would dawn on him that he is hanging around with wrong crowd. You seem to be creative person. Be creative about bringing him towards you. If he is not working at it , and you want to have fun with him you do something about it. When it comes to creativity sky is the limit.
If it all does not work then he is the biggest loser in this family unit. The kids will one day tell him that daddy where were you when we needed you.