After being married, I am introduced to new and things in womens world .. one of my cousin had - unfortunately a abortion yesterday (she still doesnt know but would be operated today) and was 6 months pregnant… now i asked my wife to accompany me in the eve to see her - but she wasnt ready to go and told me to go alone.. after some insistance i was told that after a miscarriage wives dont go to the mother who had miscarriaged for some time.. now this seems to be some *waham *or curse associated with it.. I had bnever heard something like that.. should I go alone or insst my wife to accompany me..
Re: confused...
^ ummz its just waham... and im sorry to say, but quite a silly one. I think u should go and see ur cousin.. i guess talk to ur wife and bring her out of her wahamness
Re: confused...
This is just an old wives tale.
Re: confused…
some old wives tales are so strange. i think the one that annoyed me the most was when i heard that if seven ladies who are happily married rub uptan on the dulhan, she will have a happy marriage also. 
Re: confused…
she still doesnt know but would be operated today<<<
this surprises me even more 
Re: confused...
she had an abortion or miscarriage ? and howcome she doesnt know ?
Re: confused...
I never knew you can have an obortion at 6months?
Re: confused...
isnt it allowed if the woman's life is in danger? sorry about ur cousin :(.
Re: confused...
I think he means a miscarriage. In Pak a miscarriage is called an abortion for some reason. I have heard my mom use it too when she means miscarriage.
Re: confused…
Degas you got married !!! Congratulations!! 
hope you still remember me 
so sorry about your cousin. and yes this is just a waham…but if she doesn’t want to go it would be better that you dont insist. especially because in future if you guys plan on having babies she might just keep thinking about this sad incident.
oh yeah i would like to see pictures to proof you are married 
Re: confused...
Degas I hope you convinced her otherwise. It's a stupid and baseless superstition that some desi women have that if they are in the company of someone who recently lost a child thru abortion/miscarriage, than they too maybe come under the bad "spell" and as a result become infertile or something to that effect.
Kisi ke ghamoN meiN shareek hona chahiye, na ke isolate them and make them feel like as if they are at fault for something they probably couldn't have prevented.
Re: confused...
O the stupid people. Shove the suspiciouns up their arse and go. How could it even get somebody like you confused? You being a smart man fell for this crap?
Re: confused...
I dunno I think pregnancy can turn even the sanest, most rational person into a blubbery mass of emotions and superstitions... i herd its the hormones and all..
Re: confused...
^ Understood. You shouldn't turn completely unreasonable anyway.
It's just being plain selfish that you only care about what's coming your way but you don't give a damn what other person is going through. Besides, how many times do superstitions turn out to be right? I haven't heard of one. It's all up in the brain.
Re: confused…
title seems not correct.. I am just confused how to convince my wife.. I am pretty clear that i think that at this time people should go and meet such persons rather than show otherwise.. yes that must be miscarriage… and she wasnt told for 2 days that baby was dead - though she must have known as babay wasbt moving.. operation was delayed for another day.. and she was told about the baby last nite by doc..
Roshi u dont come to gupshup regularly.. one of many the proofs i posted..
Re: confused...
If the baby had died inside her, she must have gone for a dnc.
Rukhsar, strange, my mum too and i thought it was just her, atleast I know its quite common to confuse the two in Pakistan - very wierd though.
Re: confused...
abortion and miscarriage are the same thing, the first is reserved for under 16 weeks , the other over 16 weeks
Re: confused...
Degas, tell your wife that the lady who had a miscarriage is possibly going through a psychological trauma. Don't make the woman feel like a social outcast. Your visit should be sincere...and going alone will not help. It is a sensitive situation; people should be considerate and make the mother feel at ease as much as possible.
Re: confused…
They are not the same thing.
Miscarriage is when the baby dies.
Abortion is when the baby is killed if the mother doesnt want it. And this is haraam.
So these are two very different things,