Confused - My husband has been lying to me

[lafuriaroja]

Re: Confused - My husband has been lying to me

@njgal

Advice from a woman who has been married to a ex smoker for 14 years.

I never understood how hard it was to quit. The addiction. Maybe just like if someone told me to quit eating sugar or cake for life. I am bound to have slip ups.

In the first few years of marriage, his smoking use to drive me nuts.

He said he would quit after we got married. That didn’t happen.
Then after we had out first baby. It’s subsided but didn’t go away for good.

The more I pressed him and created drama the less effective it was. The more I yelled it didn’t happen. The more I made it about me or the cigrattes it didn’t happen.

It wasn’t until he himself believed he could and did it on his own. It was his health that changed him. He still bums a cigarette when he’s hanging out with his buddies.

Talk to him in a supportive way. Tell him to you are willing to help him. Tell him that you’ll still love him with his ups and down. He’ll quit. He has to realize that on his own.

^ agree in that your husband will not quit until he himself feels motivated to.

I feel for you… I despise smoking just as much and with my husband I basically gave him an ultimatum that either quit or I’m ending this relationship, so he did, cold turkey. It was a deal breaker for me. obviously that was before marriage though. I don’t think you have that liberty so make it clear to him how unhappy you are with his smoking and how much it bothers you, but other than that nagging won’t achieve anything really. It’ll probably just irritate him more. Try just bringing it up in a gentle manner every once in a while so its in his head but don’t bother constantly hounding him, its counter productive.