Confessing to MIL? !

Lifestyle Relationships
1

Ok So how many Of U will confess their mistakes(If Any) to ur In lwas of esp Mother In Law.
ANd will it be difficult to confess?

I admit tht i have done some mistakes and now am about to meet Her. And am finding myself very restless. Confessing to her and saying Sorrrry…Uff esp when u knw she does not like u anymore?

2

Re: Confessing to MIL? !

Well i wud say just go ahead and say sorry if u feel it from with u that u owe her an apology. Even if she doesnt give u a favorable response, u'll feel good and light that u apologised for something u did wrong. Saying sorry is always a good thing if u really mean it.

3

Re: Confessing to MIL? !

Agreed with above. Be humble.

4

Yeah i have already prepared myself for saying her sorry. But Am very very emotional...And i can cry Easily. I dont want to cry in front of Her. And she is somewhat Typical Tanon wali saas. :'(

5

Re: Confessing to MIL? !

tanon???

6

Re: Confessing to MIL? !

Hehe...Sorry for using urdu english Mix...I mean Taunts.

7

Re: Confessing to MIL? !

lol at princess not getting what tanon means :cb:

8

Re: Confessing to MIL? !

i think ur mother in laws sounds like mine......... she came here in dubai to visit us n when she was going back she reminded me of my mistakes that i didnt do this ,that n blah blah.........though sum of the things were never my mistake..........but cant argue wth her.......anyhow i said sorry to her and said i l try my best to never repeat my mistakes with watery eyes......... and everything went normal bc she just wanted to scold me n wants sorry 4 me................ahhhhhhhhhhh

9

Sit her down and confess where you’ve been wrong, I’m sure won’t turn into a fire-spitting dragon and hurl insults or more ‘taana’s’ your way. Perhaps it’ll even change the way she feels about you.

:sheen:

10

Does she KNOW about the mistakes you made? Is that why she doesn't like you anymore? OR.....was she never overly fond of you to begin with?

IF your MIL is fully aware of the mistakes that you made toward her, then apologize to her. Tell her that you feel sincerely sorry and ashamed for what you did, that you would like to start the relationship over again in a more positive way, and that you hope that she can forgive you. And then from that point onward, try to bond with her, show her hospitality, etc. Even if she shows her annoyance or pettiness, be the bigger person and display patience. That way, she'll know that you're serious about making things better and that you don't want to hold grudges. Back up your apology with positive actions. Actions speak louder than words.

IF your MIL has no idea about the mistakes that you've made, then you have two options. I think that Islamically (based on what I've heard, not 100% sure though) is that if you fear that confessing your mistakes to the wronged party will only destroy the relationship and make things worse, then you can compensate by making good dua for that person and trying to go about fixing things in a more indirect way. Let's say that you gossiped about your MIL behind her back...........to compensate, you should try to say good things about your MIL to the people you gossiped to....as a way of fixing things and her image in their eyes.

********** Needless to say, your MIL is not obligated to forgive you. And if she doesn't, that's her right. She's not even obligated to like you. The more important thing is for YOU to learn from your mistakes and not get involved in negative thinking/actions that would lead you down the same path.

11

sorry, but please do tell what exactly you did wrong, what mistakes are you talking about.....

12

ThankYou Alll...
Gina am sure i wont let tht happen...It wont turn into a fire spitting dragon. :)
RedVelvet U have given Lovely piece of advice. She totally knws abt my mistakes. I will have to sit ad confess them. Its not something small..its A big thing.
nadz i really want to share as i feel sooo much burden but am not sure though.

13

Re: Confessing to MIL? !

All mother in laws are evil. They are the devil. You should not confess anything to them as they would just use it against you at a later stage.

.....I hope I did that right.

14

sure do tell us, itl give us a perspective on what your going through..

15

Re: Confessing to MIL? !

^ I agree with Nadz… we will be able to advise you better once we know more about the situation itself. Plus you will feel more unburdened. :hugz:

16

Re: Confessing to MIL? !

hmmm yeah its better to know the exact prb/mistake that u commited (if thaz possible for u to share)... maybe ure thinkin its a mistake worth apologising for when infact its no big deal? personally i dun think i wud apologise unless its a major mistake and i doubt i will ever do somethin like that like b extremely rude or batameez with her. and if she is taana type woman i dun think she will rest if u apologise. either she will forgive n forget or she will continue remindin u of ur mistake and apology if u ever commit some other mistake in future. kinda a no win situation.
my hubs is of the opinion that more than the sorry its the attitude and change in ur personality that will make the elders happy. u dun need to apologize or thank them. its ur actions that counts. so more than the sorry i wud rather concerntate on changing my behavior.. my 2 dirhams ;)

17

Re: Confessing to MIL? !

did u have an affair or beat a kid or something that u gotta confess? she ain't no priest that u gotta confess to anyone.

18

fully agree!!!

19

And I wonder why it was not asked in earlier posts?

After reading first post the natural question should have been this..

What exactly did you do girl?

20

Re: Confessing to MIL? !

If you feel up to it, you can share what you did wrong or feel you did wrong.

However, I believe all of us have a sensor of a type built inside us that tells us when we're wrong...its called a conscience. Yours is obviously troubled for you to feel compelled to apologize. Do it and wipe the slate clean. THat is what I would do.