Compromising

oki i had a conversation with some aunties and they were talking about how usually it is the girl who compromises the most in a marriage…do u guyz think it is necessary? should it be done at ALL? what benefits and disadvantages are there from it? who should compromise more and how so? (and if u say both should compromise equally then please really explain your POV because i want to see how that can truly be)

Re: Compromising

:smack:

another thread on relationships…

look its both a no-win situation…cycle dou puhiyoun pe chulta hei na ke aik pe!!!..
both have to tread carefully and want wot the other wants…both have to compromise on lil lil things…like sumtimes Atif stays tooo long at his parents house…and i dont like that sumtimes coz its a long drive back to our house and we have to go to work tomorro too and i always tell him to leave like n hour early…but noooo he has to leave toooo late a t nyt from there all the time…so i compromised…

next thing u know he had to take me to my nanis house…and coz wer alll girls there he gets really bored there…so he had to compromise for hours at my nanis coz he owed me that one…:hoonh:…:rotato:

Re: Compromising

yum i agreee compromise goes both ways ,

make sure u only agree to compromise as much as u can , dont compromise over stuff u do not like or cant handle or will regret later.

with us its like if he doesnt like something i do i wont and in turn he will do the same if i dont like it . i will treat him the same as he treats me no more no less. also we try and be very fair for example if he went out somewhere and we missed out on talkin or spendin time together and i dint complain he wont stop me from going or complain. lolz i hope u can understand i am nt married yet so these r js lil compromises bt i feel our relationship is very fair and equal with compromises from both sides. i guess you just have to understand each other.

Re: Compromising

yeah aashi jee it is the relationships forum

and obviously i will open a thread in life1 and not cafe

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Compromise is easy

Fine you watch sports all weekend, I’ll go buy shoes with your credit card. :layd:

Dono khush

Re: Compromising

^^

:hehe:

wish it was ‘dat’ easy hun…

Re: Compromising

In theory both should compromise...or accept each other the way they are.

But in practice, aisha your aunties are right. the girl usually ends up compromising....in most relationships.

There is no set formula as to who and how much to compromise...depends on situations and personalities involved. The only thing you can be is open-minded and try to listen the other person out. ... and hopefully expect the same treatment in return.

And I agree with mizzrani...dont compromise on things you cannot manage or will regret later on in life.

Re: Compromising

I dont think one compromises more then the other, as the relationship goes on compromises one has to bend for the other to be happy and so do couples, it all is that if u wanna be happy thats the price u got to pay and when u love ur spouse its a very small price to pay until it is unmanageable.

Re: Compromising

in my opinion girls are the ones who compromise more!

Re: Compromising

^^
not in my case…Atif’s tooo soft..:hula:…so i tend to squeese in my way…but i know i shudnt…:bummer:..he spoils me..:stuck_out_tongue:

Re: Compromising

wah wah wah zabardast i hope he is also u know as u put it "soft"

Re: Compromising

Personally, I believe a balance in compromise is not possible. I seriously believe that if you are happy in a relationship, your partner is compromising more than you. But does that mean the partner is unhappy. Yes and no. By "no", i mean to say that many times we are programmed to be compromising and being compromising makes us happy. From a third person's point of view, we are being exploited.

It is also not necessarily true that women are more compromising, especially in the educated class. I believe, leaving aside abusive relationships, men are more compromising in that class but as women are much more sensitive to finer details of life, they tend to miss the big picture sometimes.

Re: Compromising

Both the husband and wife need to comprmise they need to set some rules.....the days hae changed where the woman would do more than the man and stay home compromise with her hubby make sure he gets his way......its all about equality and fairness now

Re: Compromising

Both should compromise....i know our aunties wagaira are always like larkiyan compromise kertein hein zaida bla bla bla...but i think now thats not the case...i am married and we both have to compromise on certain things....if one person keeps compromising...there will be a point that he/she will stop....

so the end of the story...BOTH SHOULD COMPROMISE AND LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER!!!! :D

Re: Compromising

lol bhabhi thats very nice, live happily ever after awww

Re: Compromising

yep
but both should compromise

Re: Compromising

true

Re: Compromising

well i think that both need to compromise.. but usually it starts with one compromising more than the other.. not necessarily the gurl tho, compromising is just what u need to do in the beginning till u learn abt the other person.. then in some time u usually end up finding a middle way.. one thing real important abt compromising is the .. " compromise and forget" tactic... if u keep boiling over how u went to His uncles house rather than urs and how he ended up going to ur fav restaurant rather than his.. this compromise is gona be worth nothing.. and is just gona become another reason to fite over later!

Re: Compromising

Some words of wisdom...

Re: Compromising

In theory both should do it.

In reality...somehow women end up doing it more than men