Re: Complicated situation
Aunties and whatsapp/phones in general don’t mix. You’d be surprised how many of them don’t really know what they’re doing on those things. Just stay calm…it’s the holy month…these things kind of get put aside. If it’s meant to be it will happen. Good luck.
Re: Complicated situation
I think right now you’re infatuated with this girl and putting her on a pedestal. Probably thinking about her 24/7 and what will happen and your potential life together. I would stop with these type of thoughts…and like illuminate and chai wali said don’t stress about it, go hang out with friends, family and live in the moment.
Re: Complicated situation
Beta mummy ko bolo larki dhond dain. Ye chakar chukar chala kay kuch nahi milna. Aap ki personality hoti bachee phasanay wali to aap ne phasa lee hoti, yahan gs pe postain nahi kar rahay hotay.
Re: Complicated situation
Lol..Respect !
I guess I was too much focused on my career all my life and never got the the time to work on these type of “games”.
Re: Complicated situation
if you post your pic and girl’s pic, i can tell you if this has a chance of working out or not. <3
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Same here sir jee. Kept putting things off for later. Turns out the whole finding a mate thing is an art form that people perfect over years. Mummy jee sey minnat karna paray gee ab.
Re: Complicated situation
So her sister sent B’s photos to whatsapp of my mother yesterday and apologized that she was out of country and could not reply earlier. Should I approach B directly after Eid ? Or do u guys think she is more of a family oriented girl and wants to talk in official family setting ? Would direct move be a good move to get to know her ?
Re: Complicated situation
lol we don’t know this girl at ALL so not sure if she’s family orientated or not.
Since you’ve already started going the family route, stick to it.
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When u apply for a job I go thru hr and don’t talk to the boss to be
Re: Complicated situation
She sent her duck face selfie pics for rishta..lol I am seriously beginning to doubt her sanity. She seems like a mentally unstable person to me now.Who in their right mind would send duck face selfie pic as a rishta pic ?
Re: Complicated situation
lol maybe she doesn’t like you and is trying to make you think she crazy so you don’t pursue her?
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You are the one doing stalking and uninvited pursuite and she is the crazy one. Take a hint and move on.
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You appear to be quite an immature guy.
Stalking her, over thinking / over analyzing her reactions, feelings, obssessing over her, making assumptions about what she might, would, would have, etc. etc. etc.
Seem so sure that you want her in your life to involve your mother & her sister directly.
Having doubts on her sanity for merely seeing her duck face selfies. What did you want to get a professional personality portfolio done with 2 make up artists giving her the perfect look with a professional photographer helping her put on those perfect expressions that in your mind are appropriate for girls sending out pics to a potential rishta??? All your posts, obsession and all of a sudden having negative view of her merely after looking at her duck face selfies make you appear to be insane, not her.
Clearly, she is not obsessing over you like you are obsessing over her and so taking your proposal as just what it is - A proposal. Not an engagement or nikah to send you formal pictures or studio portraits. Cant understand if you were so into her, how duck face selfies can make you take a 180° turn & doubt her sanity. How immature is that? If anything materializes then you may make her perfect portraits yourself which wont make you doubt her sanity. You need to have a broader mind and relaxed attitude especially if you are looking to settle down and have a family. This kind of obsessive compulsive behaviour brings complications in any marriage.
NaanGuard thanks for the laugh with post 51.
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You really dont need to specify in your nick you are a guy writing from Pakistan. The utterly uncivilized, disgusting, mediocre, street language, filthy words and tone used in your post to a query by a guy sweating over wanting to approach a girl/girl’s family to formally propose her for marriage could only come from a guy in Pakistan. Nobody could doubt where you come from.
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The OP doesn’t agree with you. Not my fault if you don’t get the humor in the post.
The language I used is informal, yeah. There are no filthy word in there though.
I think I gave really good advice. Pakistan ain’t like the West. Back home, you can go your whole life without having a real conversation with a girl (besides the ones in your family). This makes things tricky when you feel like you wanna get into a relationship because you literally don’t know how to communicate with the fairer sex. In that case, mummy jee is the best resource you got.
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@Mystique
Yup. You are right. I am over analyzing things.I think i just need to calm down and go with the flow and see what happens.
and yeah duck face selfies..again i was quick to react. That’s quite negative on my part.The bad thing about me is I am obsessive about many things in life. I target them and take them out like a sniper hiding in the wild.I am not saying its the attitude I am proud of.I am working on it.
I know I did some huge blunders that I involved my family initially in the process 
No one does that aaj kal. I should have dated her properly right from the start if that’s what girls like and then at the end involve my family in the process.
The stalking part i disagree with you. Tell me how do you marry some one ? just looking at a pic and seeing how beautiful they are(according to your yardstick of measurement of beauty) and sending a proposal ? Isn’t it shallow ? This is being done in Pakistan already on everyday basis. I observed her for few months like how she comes to office, who are her friends, how she behaves with her colleagues and what is her work ethic tell me what else should have i done? If you call this stalking then be it. I know getting to know her and conversing with her for like 6-7 months would have been better. If you think that i could have sung a song in her presence then sorry lol
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I think you should continue to approach her through family just like you have done so far while keeping the quick negative judgements aside like she might not be interested or desperate/obsessed/mentally unstable. She seems to be a conventional girl so approach her exactly like you have until now.
If you want to meet her, ask her through yours & hers family/mother/sister. Do not approach her directly. I dont think she will refuse if you that way. Or if you trust your instinct and intitution enough to decide after meetings between you two and your families, then just meet like that. In my own family, all the cases have happened. Marriage decisions were made after 2-3 dates with the knowledge of both families or meetings between both families a few times with both the bride/groom to be around & both girl & guy making the decision themselves first after a few meetings and then informing their families. So it all depends on your own situation & your and her preferences. You must be considerate and respect their family traditions if you are serious about that girl.
And try to be less obsessive about such minor issues in your married life because I have seen such marriages bring unneccessary stress and complications to the relationship, not only the husband and wife but also to the children who grow up under such stressful environment at home brought by any of the marriage partners with complex personality (like yours). Such people dont realise it but they turn their very normal healthy marriage and home into a warzone & life partner into a mentally unhealthy individual without realising that it is their own behavior/psychologically unstable personality that’s causing it because such people are illusioned to be ‘perfect’ themselves. It is impossible to convince them that the defect lies in their own attitude of dealing with situations/people. Try not to be one of those individuals.
If you both are sensible and mature enough, 2-3 meetings should enable you to decide whether you both are a good match to another. Once that is clear, proceed further to marriage.
Edited:
No you did not make any blunders by involving family. It just shows that you were very serious about that girl. What amazed me that someone being so serious about someone started to have doubts on her mental stability by just looking at her duckfaced selfies.
About stalking, as long as she does not have any objection to how you observed/approached her, it is all good. This would have been a stalking incase was disinterested in your proposal & ticked off by your way of approaching her either on your own or through family especially if she is your colleague.