SO TRUE! I hear that constantly :hinna:
Re: Comparisons between Women
It doesnt happen as much in my family… me and my cousins, pretty much the same age all 3 of us and we dont actually get compared… were all just seen as individuals… the only thing were put thru is that oh she got better grades u shud too nalaik, but thats normal tho id say the same to my children 
weve never been compared in terms of looks or weight… comments have been passed but generally when ur jut talking about looks and weight no comparison really
Re: Comparisons between Women
:S Not only Desis do that kind of stuff, my own family used to say: "Look she has better grades than you you're so lazy", "She helps her family more at home and you are playing princess as usually", "OTHER KIDS have a part-time job why can't you get yourself one?", "There's people your age who are already working and have a family", "Look how pretty she dresses, why can't you start making more out of yourself..."
I believe comparsion is a general thing that happens from time to time.
Re: Comparisons between Women
YES!
And i blame having a low self-esteem because of it :-/
Re: Comparisons between Women
I think its all desi aunties and uncles these days who do it.
I went to a wedding once and the bride's sisters were all wearing sarees. It was a cute theme and they all looked beautiful Mashallah. I was walking with an auntie towards one of the sisters to congratulate her on her sister's wedding.
The auntie compliments the girl and says she looks beautiful but guess who looks better? Your younger sister.
SHE SAID THAT IN FRONT OF MY VERY OWN EYES FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The poor girl just smiled, said thank you and walked away.
Re: Comparisons between Women
Sara, its in every family. You've seen my pictures...I am sanwali and very happy with my skin color Mashallah. My sisters are all lighter then me. However, my parents didnt raise us that way...to feel self conscious about stupid things like that. As I was growing up, I heard a MILLION remarks about it from aunties though...I am too dark, I should try Fair n Lovely, I should try bleaching creams, look at my sisters, etc etc etc. When I was about five years old, my dad heard an auntie make a comparing remark like that. He got SOOOOO mad that day and told her never to talk like that about his kids again, how dare she, etc. She never came back to our house.
Its jihalat and ignorance that makes people say things like that. They dont realize what it does to sibling's relationships though...sometimes they can get past it and sometimes they cant.
I think its all desi aunties and uncles these days who do it.
I went to a wedding once and the bride's sisters were all wearing sarees. It was a cute theme and they all looked beautiful Mashallah. I was walking with an auntie towards one of the sisters to congratulate her on her sister's wedding.
The auntie compliments the girl and says she looks beautiful but guess who looks better? Your younger sister.
SHE SAID THAT IN FRONT OF MY VERY OWN EYES FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The poor girl just smiled, said thank you and walked away.
What a B*TCH. Why do people say things like that?
Why do people say things like that?
Because the connection between their brains and mouth has been permanently disabled?
Re: Comparisons between Women
^exactly.
For some reason my parents always compared to my brother. He was very smart mashallah, and I was always a few points behind him. As kids, it really pushed me to be like him, and it DID ME SO MUCH GOOD. I wanted to be smarter then, shine more then him, just once, and though I never reaced that level, I went futher then I could ever imagine.
I remember once this girl got a really high score then on her SATs when I was in high school,and my mom said to if she can do it why can't you? And those words still echo in my head whenever I come across any difficulty- I always think "if she/he can do it, why can't I??"It certainly did me good.
One of my roommats is super clean and neat, my parents often said "jamun, look at "henna", she keeps her stuff so clean, why can't you?" and i thoght why can't I? Today, I am thanx to roommate and my parents comparing her to me, I am so much more neater with my room- not to the level of my roommate but certainly to a better leve the I was ever before. I say it did me good. I got to pick up on her good habit and make it mine.
I think it's healthy to apoint to compare yourself to people on things YOU CAN CHANGE! Of course there's a fine line between healthy competition/comparistion and going to extremes. As with everything else- moderation is key
And ofcourse to compare things like complexion is just plain stupid. I mean seriously!
**"falan ka bachcha govt officer lag gaya apnay nalaik betay ko diaikho sara din gher baitha rotiyaan torta hai"
"tumhari umer k saray larkay dada bun gaaiy tum umer bher kunwaray he rehna"**
Pendu, I think what Mabs is saying is that guys will get comments along the lines of...."So and so's son has a job/post in the government and look at your incapable son who just sits at home doing nothing but stuffing his face with rotis." *OR *"Look at the guys of your age who have become grandparents (they've already had families) and you're going to stay single your whole life."
Wow thats a very man disturbing thing to say. Seriously though why do aunties care if the guy is gonna get married or not? Take your son and worship him and leave the other poor guy alone he'll find a job.