Communication Problem with hubby

yourfriend · April 29, 2008, 11:59pm

Re: Communication Problem with hubby

^ Very nice approach... thats the way it should be.
too bad, i have never discussed finances with my hubby... whatever i ask for, he gives me right away without questioning... and never bothered to ask where i have spend... its not suppose to be that way.

AnGeL_EyEs · April 30, 2008, 12:09am

Re: Communication Problem with hubby

If you are discussing matters about other family members/friends (or any type of gossip) that doesnt concern you then I can understand why he shows no interest....it's because he doesnt care...most men dont.

You have been married for only 2 yrs....try focusing your attention on him and the relationship itself rather then on financial issues and future planning. InshAllah you have the rest of your lives to do that. Right now is the time to get to know each other as husband and wife.

Like many people said above me...try focusing on his interests, likes and dislikes and talk about those instead.

Also...ask him what's on his mind. Maybe something is bothering him and while doing that....be sure to keep in mind that not everything is about you.

If all else fails....try talking less and see what he does. :D

Shikra · April 30, 2008, 1:40am

Re: Communication Problem with hubby

Exceptions are there.

Possible.

True.

Aisha most men like to handle the finances themselves without anyone's input. I don't let my wife worry about the finances, not because I want to remain in control or I don't trust her, but because I am here to worry on her behalf, she shouldn't worry about finances. Some men just don't like to answer to itty bitty details and want their wives to trust them. I normally tell myself where I am going, with who I am going, and when I expect to return but I know some guys that don't tell their wives any of this. You guys are still newly wed, enjoy the time with each other and give him some more time to open up and feel comfortable.

malhot · April 30, 2008, 10:41am

Re: Communication Problem with hubby

Some men are traditionalists - in other words they think finances etc are the man's domain.. They think a womans place is in the Kitchen only.

If that is the case, just adapt - otherwise you will always be unhappy.

Rabia121 · April 30, 2008, 10:49am

Re: Communication Problem with hubby

Tell him straight to start paying an interest in you and your family..your his wife..he should wna tell you himself how long hes gonna be so ur not waitin around for him..he should sit and listen to all your fam problems and support you 100%..
I think my fiancees boring..I recently got engaged in Pakistan but im from England..we dont have much in common and got married to shut our family up..
But at least I knw he loves me and can keep me happy...he sometimes acts like hes not interested either so Ill jus ask him to his face why he acts like tht and he apologises and tells me the reason why..its usually because hes gt stuff on his own mind thts stressin him out..so try and talk to ur hubby..get him to open up to u..
Hope tht helps
Rabia x

Numb · April 30, 2008, 11:12am

Re: Communication Problem with hubby

YES THEYYYYYYYYY ARE, they are just taught not to show them...

skhan · April 30, 2008, 10:29pm

Re: Communication Problem with hubby

haha ok sorry but its kinda funny

u shud have fun n try out stuff like today i gave birth or i got shot by a kalla maybe that'll wake him up

Aisha_Khan_1 · April 30, 2008, 10:38pm

Re: Communication Problem with hubby

Alish: Sorry yaar I cant reply to your pm... Dont have 25 posts yet... I am working toward getting them soon and will reply.. :)

Thanks To All who replied. I took one advice and it worked like a majic pill. I was shocked that it was my hubby talking to me... Well the advice was to talk to him about things that interest him. (criket, politics) I spoke to him about the crying criketer and he got excited and actually spoke three sentences. I guess thats a start.....

It is very tough for me that he doesnt talk about finances or future beacuse we live in a joint family system in a small townhouse and its really tough for me to live in the small room, (his parents have the master bedroom). I came from a very well off family.....But I lived with him without complaining for two year.... I thought he will eventually get me a bigger place to live but it never happend.. I know he can afford it... I did try talking to him and all I heard was "we will see" that did not make me happy.. he could at least tell me I am working on it we will eventually get a bigger place etc.. somthing to comfort me. :(

Anyways...
Thanks again all. :)

Orpheus · April 30, 2008, 10:48pm

Re: Communication Problem with hubby

Miz_Attitude · May 2, 2008, 10:42am

Re: Communication Problem with hubby

^^^
I remember reading your post actually on one of these forums about relationship and communication issues - just wanted to find out how is it going now? are things improving or still the same? and have u actually talked to him about how you felt? also, if things are working ok - when's the 'big' day? :)

Babul_Ki_Gudiya · May 7, 2008, 2:03am

Re: Communication Problem with hubby

aisha ??was yr marriage arranged or was it a love one?

pocahontas32 · May 9, 2008, 6:27am

Re: Communication Problem with hubby

i used to face the same problem....then i stopped sharing with him deliberately......then he became curious why have i stopped communicating? try it find some activity for yourself...u'll have something to concentrate on. let him come to u.

system · May 9, 2008, 11:22pm

Re: Communication Problem with hubby

hi aisha believe me there is no solution to your communication with your husband because its been 12years im living with the same sitution your going through with, every word you said it sounds exactly what im going through, it is hard but you will get used to it as years go by, good luck.

Babul_Ki_Gudiya · May 9, 2008, 11:27pm

Re: Communication Problem with hubby

Good luck Girls..:)..Inshallah just pray sab sahi hojaaye...