Re: Communication Problem with hubby
Seriously, it would sometimes help men to open up emotionally to let us poor women know what the hell you guys are thinking!
trust me you don't want to know what we men are thinking.. its like a whole other la-la land where things are always positive and there are not saas-bahu fights.. ;)
Re: Communication Problem with hubby
Please share your tips on how to improve communications with hubby that doesnt want to talk about anything.
Examples: When he goes out he says I am going kaam se and gets upset if I ask if he knows when he will be back... Or will he be back for lunch or dinner....
If I tell him a family problem, he would just listen and not give any advice or response in return.. the best I get out of him is "Acha"... Drives me insane..
If I try talking to him about future he would just not pay attention, read news on the net or look extreamly boored....
We have been married for two years but never talked about future, finances, or anything for that matter.
Our communications has been one way... me talking and he just listening and not responding.... It drives me insane when I ask him what do you think and he says "haan acha".... talk about not paying attention... sheesh....
lol I like this guy. I am going to read this mail again when i am married.
Guy is my role model.
after 2 years you already in the future, so just relax.
Re: Communication Problem with hubby
Don't think too much about it, it'll get to your head. Sometimes problems get created if one is too sensitive about 'em. Nevertheless, at least tell him that this issue is bothering you.
P.S: Whenever I need hubby's undivided attention(i.e. minus t.v., internet etc) to talk about something, I trick him into going for a walk :D . Maybe you can try that..
Re: Communication Problem with hubby
^ poor man .. you divide and conquer!!! taking him away from his internet and tv.. what kinda wife are you?
Re: Communication Problem with hubby
Aisha: try talking to him, tell him how u feel when he doesn't respond properly
Re: Communication Problem with hubby
its not gonna work MKD
my first question
dear,is ur marriage arranged or love?
if arranged than try talking to him bout his "past realationships"
may be jaanleva is right there sum1 else on his mind
if that so then try to know wat kinda person she was
then dont try to be like her at all!!
but u will get an idea wat his problem is
Re: Communication Problem with hubby
I think he wont change, you can try talking but he wont change
Re: Communication Problem with hubby
where did you guys get your degree in pshycology from …
O wait, you dont have that degree …
Aisha, it is very obvious that the topics of your choice are not your hubby’s hot button. DO you have to settle down your future issues, finances and family problems with in first 2 years of marriage.
Maybe, he married you cause he wanted a lover, a romantic person, a girl friend .. could you be like that for few more years …
you have a long way to go, dont worry about detailed planning too much
Re: Communication Problem with hubby
Don't stress out Aisha. Figure out what he likes. Focus on that and ignore his reactions. When he sees you struggling to reach him, he will make changes too. Maybe he can sense some discomfort and judgement on your part and that makes him uneasy. Men are a free spirit. It takes time for them to open up and share issues as easily as we women do. Focus on his strengths and pray for more patience. Insha'Allah it will all work out.
Re: Communication Problem with hubby
thts true…
Re: Communication Problem with hubby
Try not talking about any of the issues for a while.
See if that brings a change into him. Who knows
he might actually miss your talks. Ek teer say dau shikar.
Re: Communication Problem with hubby
u wudnt understand unless ur going thru it urself......its hard to change a guys personality.....dats y we as woman have to compromise and live with it...
:(
Re: Communication Problem with hubby
I have a bhabhee she speaks non stop , would not let her husband speak then she will say: " aray aap bhi tow kuch khahiay aap tow bol hee nahi rahay."
Then when he trys to speak she will start her monologue again.
I hope you are not like that. You give him a chance to speak , do you ?
Re: Communication Problem with hubby
Aisha,
Iv been married 2 years too, and my hubby does the same thing, when i talk to him about something he jus says u dont worry ive got everything sorted… so i dont question him nemore on things like when are we buying our own house, when are we gona start a family etc we r jus tryna enjoy bein young and in love. i know that whenever i ask him about future issues he gets a bit tense because he doesnt want to make false promises to me, so thats why we are jus living each day as it comes at the moment, when Allah (SWT) thinks appropriate HE will provide everything for us INSHALLAH.
Try not to be too hard on your hubby, jus remind him that you love him and if he is into cricket, ap bhi sath dekha karo, get into the game, its pretty cool once u get into it. my hubby is a sports freak!! i know that if i get into the game with him i enjoy the time spent with him, like the other day, he was watching snooker i was so bored askd him to change the channel n he was like 2mins 2mins, so i started watching it with him, and lol i found it pretty interesting..! 
take care, let us know the latest… xx
Re: Communication Problem with hubby
What specifically are you trying to discuss with him? Maybe it's the topic of conversation that doesn't interest him, although he could be more polite about ignoring you. I've been married for more than a decade and a half, and my husband still doesn't want to discuss family problems or "the future". Financial details are so important that I would suggest you set up an hour once a month to touch base on this - don't let him wriggle out of it.
Maybe he feels that you are nagging when you ask him where he is going and when he will return - do you have some friends you can go out with or invite over while he is gone? Stop asking for awhile and you may peak his interest :)
Re: Communication Problem with hubby
amana.. you have to setup an appointment every month to discuss life with your hubby? sorry but I just find that a bit odd..
Maybe he is under stress about something and just doesn't know how to break it to you.. work related stress or something.. give him space and change the topic for a while.. talk about something else.. there must be more to the fella than sports and politics..
Re: Communication Problem with hubby
Ansoon ^ that's what the western mentality does to us desis... setting up appointments.. jeez! but I think what amana meant was to atlaest talk about finances once a month..
Re: Communication Problem with hubby
Sometimes we are just too judgemental about our spouses. We expect too much and too soon. I myself am guilty of that, where I see myself being very demanding without correcting myself first. Sometimes there are no real issues but just unfulfilled expectations.
Best thing is to evaluate ourselves and find out how we can change ourselves, because really, we have no control on anyone else.
Re: Communication Problem with hubby
^ TLK bhai take some notes :D
Re: Communication Problem with hubby
I think you misunderstood. Basically, my husband and I spend the last Thursday of every month going over our finances - balancing the bank statements, making sure we've saved all the receipts for tax purposes, discussing any major purchases that need to be made, retirement accounts, and just anything else that needs to be discussed.
Setting up this time is one of the wisest steps we've ever taken - we rarely argue about finances and don't bring up any financial issues that aren't an emergency until this "meeting". We are focused, and able to make any necessary decisions at this time as well. More importantly, we aren't always talking about money!