My friend Aisha has been married for aleast 7 yrs to a well educated guy Ali, who was born in Pk and raised in USA. They had ups and downs in marriage but overall it was not bad.
Aisha’s brother in law (sister’s husband) came to USA on bussiness visa and stayed here for his green card. They needed affidavit of support which my friend’s husband did not give. So her sister stop talking to her and did not visit them.
Now Aisha’s father got sick and asked aisha to make up with her sister. She did and now Ali is so upset that he is thinking about seperating and taking their only child away.
Aisha seeemed calm, i asked her what she is planning to do. She said oh nothing when my husband will kick me out I will go to some hotel and commit suicide. I just can’t live without my husband or child. I have been trying to talk her out of it but nothing is working.
Her husband is very stubborn he is not listening to anyone.
What should i do , should I tell her husband. Her family is in CA and their ph numbers are not listed. I feel so bad for her.
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the guys is upset because ayesha wants to make up with her sister? he is taking away the child and separating because of this? unbelievable. im sorry this is disgusting. are you sure there is not some other issue involved for him to act so stubborn?
yes do tell the husband....but you should tell her parents first of all.
im sorry im so baffled i have nothing more to say.
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First of all, why does Ali not want his sister n SIL together? Why didn’t Ali give the affadavit of suport? And what makes him think he can take his and Aisha’s child away? Why does he want to divorce her ??
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I think the fact that she told you about possibly committing suicide is a cry for help. Do tell her parents so that they don't leave her alone. I am sure there is more to the story, but be there for your friend. She needs a lot of emotional support right now so that she does not do anything extreme.
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I tried to talk to her husband. he said I am stranger and should not involve in their personal matter. When I told him about suicide he said she is bluffing because she is not brave enough to do that.
Aisha does not want to tell her dad because he is retired and living with her brother.
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Tell the brother. Get help, dont know where or how, but please get her help!
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The fact that the father lives with her brother should have nothing to do with her telling him. I think that you have an obligation, both Islamically and legally, to tell someone when your friend has threatened suicide.
To be honest, it was a mistake to tell her husband, because it sounds like things have already gotten so bad between them that this may just make it worse. And this is definitely something he can and probably will use against her in court, should he petition for custody.
Custody does not automatically go to the father, in most cases, it goes to the mother, although it would be better if she had at least a part-time job, or some means of supporting herself. You need to encourage your friend to be proactive and, if she's not going to think of herself, at least think of her child.
I would also suggest that she see a lawyer and look into protecting herself and her rights. Documenting her husbands threats against her is also a good idea.
I am not advocating divorce, but it sounds as though this guy is first of all verbally abusive, and secondly has either made up his mind about divorcing her, or enjoys mentally torturing her.
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Living in the USA I don;t think the guy can just take away their child that easily. Tell ur friend to not do anything silly and if the asshole of a husband still takes it to seperation/divorce she always has a shot at getting her childs custody.
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Pakistani men and their freakin ego issue!
This is how i would handle my husband. Hun here is the affidavit and you simply sign it. He can ask questions but he sure will know i wont ask him anything ifi didnt think it was a good decision. Secondly NO one tells me who do i need to speak with.
I might beat the crap out of my husband if he tells me not to speak with my father. Who the heck on earth he thinks he is. I would probably say sure you don't talk with your dad and i wont talk with mine Can we live with that?
Mine one knows not to mess with me- I am crazy and i do bite.
Let your friend know her life is worth a lot more then destorying it for some guy. Pakistani men like to torture their wives its a weird sort of a pleasure they get. She definately needs to stand up for herself. Ali simply wants her to cut off from her family. Ali needs a lot of growing up to do on top of it needs good smacking if you ask me.
She shouldnt have to destory herself to please her husband and be with her family. Its her life its her choice whether she wants to talk her father and sister or not.
I cannot stand it when people think they contorl lives of other people. It does not work like that.
In my world i dont control anyone and i dont let anyone else control me. Urgh these type of things make me so mad. Why woman has to suffer in this male ego fight.
Its amazing a guy can act like a jack ass after 7 yrs of marriage you would think he has gained some sense by this time. I bet if she was to ask her hsuband stop talking to your father and yoru sister in law. He will have a panic attack and beat the crap out of her for saying it. If she cant say it then why does he?
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raima you definitely need to tell the girl's family or a friend who can serve as an arbitrator. There is always a chance for arbitration before either of the spouse files for divorce.
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That is so sad
That is just so sad. . . :(
May God protect her and her family Ameen.
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Bet theres way more to the story then what you're saying.
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^ I agree, this story has a lot of holes in it. Also, anyone who plans on killing him/herself is pretty stupid regardless of the situation.
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^ She is probably desperate for help, attention, and comfort and feels trapped, and doesn't know how to get it. But who wants to take the chance and call her bluff? Too much is at stake.
But it doesn't really make sense. Why would the husband be upset if she made up with the sister? Did she also give an affidavit of support? What's he losing? Why would he want her cut off from the sister?
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I spoke to Aisha's brother. He talked to Ali. Ali told him that they are going thru financial crisis and Aisha does not help. Ali invested money in real estate and lost big times. He asked Aisha to work but she refused.Eventhough she has degree in computer sceince. Her excuse is she won't be able to work and take care of house at the same time. They filed bankrutcy which could have avoided if Aisha would have helped.
After hearing all that I could not say anything. I asked her about the suicide, she said I am not that brave to do it and I don't want to go to hell.
I feel stupid should not feel bad for any one.
Now her brother told her to help her husband because if something happens between them, she is not welcome at his place.
Let see what will happen.
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Subhanallah! Kaisay kaisay log hotay hain is dunya mein. Effing pakis and their drama!
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If he is in the USA, I cannot for a moment believe that he has LOST money in real estate. For the past few years anyone with any property has atleast doubled their assets if not trippled. People have overnight become millionaires just investing n real estate. The new story is hard to believe. In any case if that is the truth what the hell is this friend of yours doing lying about the reasons? Silly git. Book her the hotel room yourself now 
If her only concern is that she won;t be able to take care of the house while working, maybe her husband can do that home part until he recovers from his supposed loss. Vaisay at this point I don;t believe either side of the story.
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Agreed with Femme!
He is for sure lying he probably used it for gambling. You even spend 100k in real estate in 2 yearsyou are atleast guaranteed doubled in NYC atleast.
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Femme not if you are in the Southern States, we have some family friends who have also taken a hit on real estate in Arkansas and Texas- But i see your point.
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SJ, I am in southern state and value of property is going up everywhere. Like femme said, it is very hard to believe if someone can loose money in real estate.