Re: College Girl
Also there are parental tricks for dorm kids.
Show up to their dorm on Friday / sat nights for spot checks.
Call them. Any noises in the background?
Have a good relationship with the doorman. Or security guy. For some friendliness and home made biryani they will spill the beans on where your kid is going.
Having siblings keep an eye out for each other. I would spot check my sister when I was there in grad school and she was in college. I was pretty much assured she was a nerd bent on taking over the world. Doesn’t happen at underwear frat parties. :k:
Know your kid. Like I said, the girls who were known to be suspicious by their own parents - those parents did not shell out money for dorm rooms. A lot got married early for fear of bringing shame to the families.
We have people sometimes come to my dad and ask how he managed to send us to the dorms, and we still turned out successful and no boyfriend rumors. If there are any rumors they’re so fictional it’s not even funny. Even people who were not my friends could have grudgingly accepted they can’t make up those rumors of me and my sister. Now they can say things like “oh they’re not as involved in the community and they have a lot of American friends”. Ooooh great that really burns me
These assumptions do a few things.
-discourage girls from GOOD higher education , thereby truncating careers.
-college choices are based on what others will say not what’s best for the girl’s academic future. Which will only impact the success of our community. You know a lot of these young moms - they’re worthless in their studies and they can’t show their kids much.
-not taking college seriously – then when she has kids she won’t be pushing them to get into good colleges. Mediocre worked for her, it will work for her kids. Cycle continues. More stupid muslims born every year.
-by painting the sins of a few onto everyone else, you participate in badnaami. Then you use this as justification to go to pakistan to get a bride. DIRECT effect - growing spinster population in the US/UK. Apparently we all parties in our chaddis in college. You don’t agree? Great then marry a girl in the US. Show us you’re not a hypocrite.
Anyway hope I raised some food for thought. We had some rotten Arab foreign apples and Paki foreign apples but pretty much everyone who was local going to my college worked pretty hard and did well.
And if there was someone who had an affair it was their own stupid life choice. Not the dorm. Because people living at home were likewise making stupid choices.
Because of crap like this my uncle forced my cousin to go to the local crap college. Now she comes back with the stories and even he accepts “that college is filled with kachra”. The parents of those “kachra” kids think they’re doing great by making them commute and stay local. Just talk to my cousin. They’re all having affairs.
Yeah I am 100% for education for Pakistanis. Our people don’t stress it enough. Parents need to educate their daughters especially. I dont think all dorm girls were bad. I even said not all Pak girls who dormed were bad apples. Kept bolding the word “some” Pak girls in my previous posts in this thread to emphasize it’s just a portion of girls who dormed. But that small portion of Pak girls who dormed and did the above is enough for a guy to wonder if she did participate in such activities–its not insecurity its personal perference, the guy in OP does not want such a wife, nothing wrong with that. The onus is on us to stop behaving like horny rats and instead respect ourselves, our image, families, future spouse, culture and religion by not participating in such activities despite the temptations.