Pakora not giving when not having anything is perfectly fine no matter how you word it here..
but saying that thing to the kid repeatedly is majorly out of order..the point was what? ur parents r so bad that they sent u out to make money in this cold weather with minimal clothing.. exactly what were u trying to convey to the kid?
do u not think u hurt him by saying those things or u could have!?
not helping is another thing but this attitude, how could u not melt
When I first met that kid begging he must be 5, right in front of “Standard Chartered” bank Peshawar. He had a few chewing gums in his hand that he wanted to sell. Initially I shooed him off. Later on when I saw him at the same spot, I told him….
“Your parents should be ashamed to have sent you out for begging”.
Each time he kept quite. Recently in winters when I saw the same kid without shoes and warm clothing I said…
“Your parents have sent you in this attire just that you can make more money”.
To which for the first time he quite innocently said
“ No, No!!! My father is dead, I will have shoes and a jumper tomorrow, my mom has given my shoes and the jumper to my sister for today, tomorrow I will get them back, we take turns”
I was quite shocked with his answer, whether it was the truthfulness, or the naiveness, or the shame that I could spend thousands of rupees in self indulgence where as this kid did not have bare necessities of life.
He is 7 now, but I always try to avoid him when I go to the bank.
:)
You sharing your experience and avoiding him means you still have a soft heart...Most of us would simply say 'maaf karo' and not notice...
Money is not everything. If you are uncomfortable with giving money, give the kid respect and attention. God must have sent him your way, who knows. Tell him that he can be like you one day, but for that he needs to study. And if he decides to do that, then you will pay his fees and visit him in school (to make sure he's telling the truth, and to encourage him). I'm sure you can a few hundred rupees a month.
^^I agree with Muniya and metromama too..at least a sweater would have been sufficient at the time, if not that at least some respect...its not something that unlike just money could have been taken away from him....I am amazed at some people's utter disregard and shoving little kids away like they would dust specks of dirt off their clothes or something..
But just becuz everyone thinks that they belong to gangs and stuff...there r some that do suffer truly..I saw this girl in Fortress stadium with full hijab, and looked like a parhi likhi girl, she was crying a lot ..I could see that she felt ashamed having to do this, but her father or I think mother was very sick...I just felt soo sorry...Unlike over here people there do not have access to even the basic health necessity if they do not have the meansto pay for it....
But anyway I donot remember detailed, but As our Holy Prophet(pbh) would rather giving only money to beggers, gave them some skill or something that would help them in earning their living rather then just this one time deal like just giving them money. I know its pretty hard...But just making a difference in one single person's life..just one...would really make it worthwhile.
And apart from that I do believe that Edhi Sahab does a wonderful job in doing thoses things above mentioned...So our best bet for people who donot want to get involved would be to donate money or their respective skills to Edhi Foundation...
Am I going off the topic....then again tooo late:D
Whenever I go to Pakistan, eventhough we have that
There are some stubborn (grown up) beggers who get on your nerves. Every time I would go to a certain bazar this begger would literally chase me and has such a stubborn expression on his face. I gave him once or twice but then I would avoid.
I know its different with kids and women, I just have a soft spot for kids and females, especially with small babies in their arms !!
To clear a few misconceptions, gangs of baggers that you all talk about operate in big cities like Lahore Karachi, Mumbai etc….
a. I don’t think rather I am quite sure this kid did not belong to any gang.
b. I am stingy with my money.
c. May be by reading the thread you people have reached the conclusion that I passed these remarks with an intimidating attitude, on the contrary I was quite polite.
maybe one day you wont have bare necessities of life and while some idiot pretends like he has a lot and spends thousands on self-indulgence you will know exactly how the poor kid must have felt.
Amitabh was pseudo Hatam Tayee, a larger than life haraam khor/sharabi, and a self proclaimed Godfather of kanjarkhana when he had Baap ki kamai at his disposal...
And when he had to live on his own it was extremely difficult to make both ends meet and he said
Ab tu itni bhi mu'yassar nahi pemaaney mian Jitni hum chor diya kartey they mekhaney main ..
Well its a tricky situation...u dun know who exactly is telling the truth...many people have started earnig easy money by begging but not working. But if you feel some1 is genuinely is in need than sparing lil bit of yr money wont finish off yr money foryself.
My Dad once told me his experience - years ago he was walking in Janpath Delhi, in the 1960' and one very persistent young beggar kept on touching his feet for money, my father thought if he gave him money it would not help long term and decided to buy him a shoe shine box with brush and polishes etc. Janpath always have these shoe shine guys.
Anyway a few days later my dad kept looking for this boy, but guess what, that same boy was still begging the same way touching peoples feet. My Dad asked him what happened to the shoe shine box? He said had sold it for Rs 10.00!! (my Dad had paid Rs 50.00 in those days).
So the question is how to help them get off the streets begging. Any suggestions.
That Petrol station where that beggar sits should be declared a historical monument if you ask me Pakora :p
On a side note, I remember giving 5 rupees to a beggar not so long ago after juma prayers in Pakistan only for her to run after me, grab me by the arm as I was walking away and she then demanded 10 rupees!
