Clubbing with ur mates

[KashmiriRainDrops]

Re: Clubbing with ur mates

@WitchDr

It reminds me of something which goes like this:

Give freedom to your birds. Let them fly away. If they don’t come back to you they were never meant to be yours. However, keep an eye on frequent flyers!!

Yea, it’s quite true though!
I feel a lot better about this now, thanks!

But wot if ur bird’s friends have a bit too many *frequent flyer *miles, and ur worried they mite talk him into doing wrong (i know, i’m thinking really negative about it)

[WitchDr]

Re: Clubbing with ur mates

@Barbie_Girl

If you think that way…why cant they be wise enough and understand what you are trying to avoid…

Depends which side you are looking from. Being wise is subjective as well.

[Barbie_Girl]

Re: Clubbing with ur mates

@KashmiriRainDrops

Yea, it’s quite true though!
I feel a lot better about this now, thanks!

But wot if ur bird’s friends have a bit too many *frequent flyer *miles, and ur worried they mite talk him into doing wrong (i know, i’m thinking really negative about it)

am tellin ya girl…keep an eye on him:blush:

[WitchDr]

Re: Clubbing with ur mates

@KashmiriRainDrops

Yea, it’s quite true though!
I feel a lot better about this now, thanks!

But wot if ur bird’s friends have a bit too many *frequent flyer *miles, and ur worried they mite talk him into doing wrong (i know, i’m thinking really negative about it)

There is no such thing as “talk him/her into”. There is got to be the will of that person, whatever he/she does.

[KashmiriRainDrops]

Re: Clubbing with ur mates

@Barbie_Girl

Cant you just sit on a sofa with your mate and talk to him for long long hours…what’d you really get after clubbing…waste of time ..precious time…

If u do that all the time, everyday it gets borriinggg…we talk ALL DAY LONG!
I want him to have fun, and he knows y it bothers me…but he just says trust me…sometimes i just think it’s wrong to go without ur partner though…i tell him y can’t u just wait a lil longer
I don’t have a problem with him going to play pool, or go to the movies or other guy crap…but parties, at clubs…i dunno, i guess cos i’ve been hurt in that way before.

Now i’m thinking this is silly…if he was gonna break my trust he cud do that anywhere rite, not just at a club…and not just when he’s with his friends either…i guess slowly, i’ll be ok with it

[KashmiriRainDrops]

Re: Clubbing with ur mates

@WitchDr

There is no such thing as “talk him/her into”. There is got to be the will of that person, whatever he/she does.

Yea ur rite…he is a strong willed person…and i know some of his friends wud never let him do anything stupid or hurt me…i guess i really need to let go of stuff in the past, that keeps popping up in my head every now and then.

[Barbie_Girl]

Re: Clubbing with ur mates

wupssssssss.... what a Reasoning power we humans haveeeeeeeee.....

[WitchDr]

Re: Clubbing with ur mates

KRD: I am getting confused about your gender and/or inclination.

Talking all day long, even if it is about your fav soap, is boring.

KRD tell us what you are so unsure about. There is a lot of skeptisim in your sentences.

[KashmiriRainDrops]

Re: Clubbing with ur mates

**KRD: I am getting confused about your gender and/or inclination.

** I'm female.

** Talking all day long, even if it is about your fav soap, is boring.
**

Yea i agree.
**
KRD tell us what you are so unsure about. There is a lot of skeptisim in your sentences.

*Well, i started this thread just to see how many of u wud or wudn't mind if ur partner went out clubbing with his mates, but without u...as i started getting some replies i went on to talk about how it is in my situation...after reading some of the responses, i thought to myself...that perhaps the core issue under all this is trust...so now, IMO i guess clubbing is not so much an issue for me...*sometimes trust is...and that's wot i need to improve about myself...i'm still curious to see wot others think about the topic...and i guess it goes both ways...some r saying they do mind and some say they don't...both for different reasons.

[nia_khan]

Re: Clubbing with ur mates

@PyariCgudia

What are u going to do? Send him off, and then follow him disguised as a transvestite?

give his friend some money and video camera… money talks *grin..

[faizy]

Re: Clubbing with ur mates

based on what kinda mental relationship you have with your partner, it differs.. PERSONALLY speaking, i dont scratch unless it itches and i dont dance unless there is music.. so unless i see something ruining something for BOTH of us, i wouldnt butt in..

[KashmiriRainDrops]

Re: Clubbing with ur mates

@faizy

based on what kinda mental relationship you have with your partner, it differs.. PERSONALLY speaking, i dont scratch unless it itches and i dont dance unless there is music.. so unless i see something ruining something for BOTH of us, i wouldnt butt in..

Good point…Ur saying unless u know (see) it’s happening with ur own eyes, u won’t butt in…so basically, don’t suspect anyone unless they give u a reason to suspect them rite…thanks

[faizy]

Re: Clubbing with ur mates

all i am saying is that u cant HOLD your partner by fist and lock her...

if she went clubbing with her friends that were a)opposite gender, and b) single, i dont see it a problem..

problem starts if she starts to think less of me or jeopordize (sp?) the relationship by mingling with them other than being friends in mind ...

in that case, it will be my fault, as i couldnt provide her with enough love, care, time and attention which she deserved so she was forced to go out with that group of friends and did stuff..

see once u are in a relationship, u gotta GIVE trust to get trusted... because if u're married, and u're at work, u can either a) keep thinking if she is seeing someone when u're at work b) keep on hurrying so u can go home to see ur wife..

(it depends how u take things), so YES unless she wouldnt give me a reason, i wouldnt suspect anything.. if i did, i would simply ask that hun THATS in my mind because of THAT reason, i dont like billi choohay games, whats going on, if its nothing, i apologize, and if it IS something, lets talk and see WHATS causing this and HOW it can be made better..

i guarentee u, there are like 2% of things in relationships that CANT be solved by talking and settling things by communicating them...

[danial]

Re: Clubbing with ur mates

@faizy

based on what kinda mental relationship you have with your partner, it differs.. PERSONALLY speaking, i dont scratch unless it itches and i dont dance unless there is music.. so unless i see something ruining something for BOTH of us, i wouldnt butt in..

:k:

[MYwish]

Re: Clubbing with ur mates

i agree faizy.

[pakjangjoo]

Re: Clubbing with ur mates

clubbing does have its merits. the whole idea of a multitude of human beings heaving and convulsing in unison to music is as old as mankind itself. So I would disagree with PyariCgudiya that clubbing is only for losers.

however, if your wife goes clubbing without you, I think that's a serious problem. Why doesn't she prefer you to clubbing? clubbing, IMHO, is only for young single people.

[S02]

Re: Clubbing with ur mates

I do think it’s important for a husband and wife to interact with others apart, but it doesn’t have to be in the clubbing scenario.

If my husband were to do it? I think it would bother me if he were going for the purpose of dancing with others (I love to dance ). But if he were going to socialize, I think I’d be okay. As long as I also had somewhere to go that evening.

[mAd_ScIeNtIsT]

Re: Clubbing with ur mates

If I don't trust her to be faithful to me, why would I stay married to her?

[picoico]

Re: Clubbing with ur mates

Movie...yes,
Out to grab some eats....yes,
Out to some kind of play/show....yes,
Clubbing? Hell no.

[Mehnaz]

Re: Clubbing with ur mates

A lot of corporations hold company ‘holiday’ parties where it is strictly staff only (no spouses/significant others allowed) … of course, there is a lot of dancing late into the hours, eating and people even drink … … would you feel comfortable with your spouse attending such a holiday party that goes late into the hours, where your partner probably wouldn’t come home that evening? I know my former company and quite a few law firms here downtown even provide accomodations for hotel rooms since they want people to be able to stay late and not have to worry about getting up early to commute into work early the next day. Obviously, good behaviour is expected and you share your room with a co-worker of the same gender … but it isn’t always PG13, people act stupid when there is alcohol involved, including co-workers. So how would you feel about that?

Personally, I agree with Maddy and Mahnoor. If you trust your spouse, such things shouldn’t even ben an issue, and if you are worried someone will be unfaithful to you, you shouldn’t even be married to them in the first place.