You should go. You should not prejudge your boss or collegues. Not all of them will get blind drunk. Hang out with the more sensible people. Im sure some will be driving and not drinking too.
Dont ask to be treated specially for being a muslim. Im sure some of the others would rather go home or do something with thier own friends too.
If your prejudgement of the wild drinking games in the pub is correct then you have the option of leaving early. No one will mind at all.
First of all dude, this issue is over, I realised I may have over-reacted a bit, but I can accept that.
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Dont ask to be treated specially for being a muslim.
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This is the point I have a problem with. I am entitled to follow my beliefs, especially in a secular country where no one gives a flying flap what you believe in. The one thing I do strongly believe is that I shouldn't become too lax about my religion, what is haram is haram (for me), and I shouldn't be placing myself in the kind of environment that these kinda things happen. Im not saying that I'll lose all my morals by going into a pub, or that I'll suddenly slip and accidently have a drink or two, but I dont want to give an impression that I am okay with drinking or being in an enviroment of drinking.
I'm not the type to just give in and go to a pub quietly for the sake of not making a fuss - I won't force my beliefs on other people, but then neither will I sit quietly and expect others to make exceptions for me, this is something I have to do myself. If I have to make a fool out of myself once by not going to the pub and seeming like a drama queen, then I will do it - and I'm pretty sure I won't be asked again in the future. If you feel like I'm missing out of socialising - well really, these people are 20 years older than me, they all either talk about their kids or they perve at each other, so I'm pretty sure I'm not missing much.
First of all dude, this issue is over, I realised I may have over-reacted a bit, but I can accept that.
This is the point I have a problem with. I am entitled to follow my beliefs, especially in a secular country where no one gives a flying flap what you believe in. The one thing I do strongly believe is that I shouldn't become too lax about my religion, what is haram is haram (for me), and I shouldn't be placing myself in the kind of environment that these kinda things happen. Im not saying that I'll lose all my morals by going into a pub, or that I'll suddenly slip and accidently have a drink or two, but I dont want to give an impression that I am okay with drinking or being in an enviroment of drinking.
I'm not the type to just give in and go to a pub quietly for the sake of not making a fuss - I won't force my beliefs on other people, but then neither will I sit quietly and expect others to make exceptions for me, this is something I have to do myself. If I have to make a fool out of myself once by not going to the pub and seeming like a drama queen, then I will do it - and I'm pretty sure I won't be asked again in the future. If you feel like I'm missing out of socialising - well really, these people are 20 years older than me, they all either talk about their kids or they perve at each other, so I'm pretty sure I'm not missing much.
But yeah. Not such a big deal anymore I spose.
ok I understand your point about not wanting to go to pubs or places where drinks are served. You dont want to intergrate. You dont like your employers and colleagues much.
I just dont like it when religion is used like a disability. "I cant do this so make special arrangement for me". If your in a wheelchair or disabled, then yes "I cant get in the building, make ramp access to the building". I have less sympathy for "im a muslim, I cant go to the pub with you" I think its that is your choice, entering a pub has nothing to do with religion if your not consuming alcohol.
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I just dont like it when religion is used like a disability.
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Believe me, so do I. But as you said, it's MY choice if I don't want to go, and for me, my religion will always come first. I am not asking other people to make excuses for me, what I want is for my own choices to be respected without other people acting like I'm being out of order for not doing something.
And no, I didn't say I have a problem with my employers or colleagues, I just said I'd rather not seem them tipsy and embarassing themselves.
ok I understand your point about not wanting to go to pubs or places where drinks are served. You dont want to intergrate. You dont like your employers and colleagues much.
I just dont like it when religion is used like a disability. "I cant do this so make special arrangement for me". If your in a wheelchair or disabled, then yes "I cant get in the building, make ramp access to the building". I have less sympathy for "im a muslim, I cant go to the pub with you" I think its that is your choice, entering a pub has nothing to do with religion if your not consuming alcohol.
That's a bizarre conclusion to say the least. No one in an institution should feel compelled to do things they don't want to do, to "fit in".
Yes, you're making a big deal out of nothing. No work place is perfect. Unfortunately, if you have a boss, then there are times you have to do things that you don't want to do just for the sake of having a decently pleasant work enviornment.
Here are some FACTS on your situation:
1) You boss included you in the invitation.
2) You declined the invitation.
3) After you declined the invitation, you boss told you to stay in the office.
4) Even IF you had gone out with the team, you would be getting paid for that time.
5) You boss didn't single you out and pick you to stay in the office. Only after you told him you didn't want to go with your team, he told you to do some work.
6) Your boss is not allowing any other team members to go hang out with their friends while they get paid.
I'm not quite sure why this is a big deal since you're on company time being paid. Yes, your supervisor has the authority to choose a activity for the "team" on company time (Note: You don't have to drink....but this doesn't prevent you from going with them and socializing). You have the choice not to participate in that outing. However, I don't think you should expect the company to pay you while you go hang out with your friends. If you'd rather spend that time to go hang out with your friends....then go ahead and request "vacation time" and take that time off.
As you said already, you have the option to complain but that will only make your work enviornment uncomfortable/tense. Also, reading that "orange juice" comment....it sounds like that your team already realizes that you don't drink and is not pressuring you to drink.
As for dealing with office events that involves alcohol:
I end up at bars, house parties etc. often with my co-workers. It's a chance to socialize/network. I have never been pressured to drink at the outings. My close team knows I don't drink. And if there is someone there who I don't know....and if the "new" person asks me about why I'm not drinking....often I tell them I'm on antiniotics and can't drink. This easily takes care of the situation in a professional enviornment without bring up religion/culture etc. Not once have I been asked to drink when I give them the "antibiotic" answer.
People who are talking about getting paid are missing the point.
I don't get understand why you're being told to work while they go to the pub?
No matter her beliefs, she should not be put up to do the work when the others aren't there.
Simples.
"Im not saying that I'll lose all my morals by going into a pub, or that I'll suddenly slip and accidently have a drink or two, but I dont want to *give an impression *that I am okay with drinking or being in an enviroment of drinking. "
question to no one in particular since OP wants thread closed
give an impression to whom? Not sure creating an impression has anything to do with religion.
Bigger picture - the company aids homeless, taxpayer dollars at work here. Does not matter if others are out partying - it would be nice to have someone holding the fort if a customer comes calling or phones the office. Not their fault if office closes early.
Also, office outings can be a pain anyway - so at least some of the folks probably would rather be elsewhere than with the boss at a bar.
Another thing that stood out - OP is probably junior staff. It is OK not to rebel esp for insignificant things
I am sure as heck not junior staff! I have quite a good position and I have been there for a couple of years now. Also, my job involves aiding the homeless but we are a government authority, so we're not the only team that works there. There are hundreds of us in the building and there are several other buildings which work towards this. I understand the concept of covering the service but this is more than adequately covered, so that wasn't really so much of an issue.
As for 'giving off impressions', like I said, I am entitled to my beliefs/opinions, I'm not enforcing them on anyone else and I'd rather not be questioned about it over and over again. Goodness.
ok I understand your point about not wanting to go to pubs or places where drinks are served. You dont want to intergrate. You dont like your employers and colleagues much.
I just dont like it when religion is used like a disability. "I cant do this so make special arrangement for me". If your in a wheelchair or disabled, then yes "I cant get in the building, make ramp access to the building". I have less sympathy for "im a muslim, I cant go to the pub with you*" I think its that is your choice, entering a pub has nothing to do with religion if your not consuming alcohol.*
Sorry if this is off topic,
but so we as muslims are also allowed then to go to stripbars as long as we dont 'watch'?
Just making general comment about Christmas Etiquette (not related to OP comments): Some Muslims are strict about not celebrating Christmas at all so people shouldn't be forced into something which they don't want to take part. I just wish everyone have warm holidays with their families and friends.