Growing up I wouldn’t want to wear shalwar kameez to non-desi gatherings (God bless my school uniform, if I didn’t have one, I’d’ve been made to wear shalwar kameez to school). I already felt like a reject and not very well liked so sticking out even more would have felt worse.
As an adult, I have no qualms about wearing it out shopping or whatever (just not to work!)…for weddings and gatherings and stuff, it’s a must for me.
Of course things have changed since I was a kid, preserving your culture is good but you have to be reasonable..it’s a matter of finding the right balance.
I absolutely love Pakistani fashion and love dressing up when I can. I think it’s about what feels natural and comfortable based off the environment our kids are growing up in though. I would wear desi clothes when the occasions and gathering called for it, weddings, parties, dawaats. I loved when my mom would buy or order me a new suit. But I don’t know very many people that were forced to wear shalwar kameez all the time, just depended on the gathering. My mom herself was more comfortable in pants outside the house just for running every day errands and we were never forced to wear Pakistani clothing out of pure comfort for our day to day interactions. But that doesn’t mean I’m uncomfortable being out in desi clothes when I have to be sometimes. I don’t think it would be any different with my children. I remember growing up we couldn’t even bribe my brother to get into shalwar Kameez when he needed to be whether it was for namaaz or Eid etc. All the crying and slamming doors when he was just a kid, my god. It never happened. A few years later, I tried paying him to wear a sherwani to my wedding and he wasn’t having any of it but now as he’s gotten older he comfortably wears them to mehndis and sometimes the mosque on certain occasions because that’s just how he’s comfortable. His argument was the same, no one else is doing it and it’s unnecessary if I can pray or chill in pants all the same. It’s true.
I agree, balance is key and think western clothing can be just as modest as eastern clothing.
I am looking forward to putting my son in shalwar kameez! I cannot wait until he can fit into things properly! I even had my MIL send me a sindhi topi, koti and kurta shalwar for him…she’s so amused by my excitement “ek tum hi ho…vahan itnay pyaray kapray miltay hein aur tumhay ye sab chahiye hai”
my friends daughter wears shawlar kameez alot and she carries it very well, looks awesome. after seeing her my daughter asked her dadi to send her white shawlar kameez too. but her dadi sent her other heavy embroidered with white simple one. and she loved her white one but others she never wore (even though they were far better than white).
but she hardly wears now. we went to pak end of 2014 and had to attend few weddings and she only got 3 shawlar kameezs to wear which she hates to wear now.
my son (2and half years old) loved his kurtas but somehow he hates wearing them now. but i am going to make him wear as he is growing outof them (we have one red, yellow, purple and 1 red and white striped-got for shadis in pak)
“ek tum hi ho…vahan itnay pyaray kapray miltay hein aur tumhay ye sab chahiye hai” 