I’ve seen a number of people that are recent immigrants (perhaps came to USA or Canada in the last 10 years) that either hesitate or do not encourage their children to wear desi attire.
Why?
What is so wrong with our clothing?
If it is good for us, why is it not good for our kids?
We know a couple that have an 11 year old daughter and when we go to their house for dinner or even when they come to ours’ we will find this child dressed in a t-shirt and skirt. Granted the skirt may be floor length (like those gypsy ones) but still, a skirt. This family is known to travel to Karachi at least once every 18 months for a month long vacation and bring back many shalwar kameez suits to sell. The mother is always seen in shalwar kameez/pyjama suits and the father also wears kurtay and shalwar suits often. What’s up with not encouraging your kid the same way?
maybe I’m just too stuck on preserving our culture
after i turned around 11, i wasnt allowed to wear western clothes to other people's homes.
but i see the trend that you stated as well these days.
I would want myself and my kids to wear their traditional dress more often (at least they go to other people's homes).
my inlaws really dont mind what kids wear, in terms of dressing traditional. I usually wear my shalwar kameez to my inlaws relatives homes, while my SIL (29) and hubby's other cousins (11 and 14) wear mostly westers (jean/skirts).
honestly, it bothers me when i see preteens and young teens wearing western outfits to formal desi events - like a ball gown. seriously?
I have noticed the same (skirts/capris etc) and I wouldn't want to do it with my own kids, especially if we are visiting desi family/friends, not even if they are desi, i would like it to be a shalwar kameez, I have worn my desi clothes to a non-desi friends house and I felt just fine and of course got compliments. mine are still too young so I don't bother much yet, but yes I plan on getting them comfortable clothing made so they can enjoy and embrace part of their culture proudly.
Some kids do not like to wear desi clothing and others love them. I do not see any point in forcing kids to wear desi clothes if they do not like to wear them. They should be encouraged but it should not become another source for scolding the kids
Oh and why people might be hesitant to dress their children in eastern outfits, perhaps just to fit in especially for someone new to the country, to make friends without looking awkward or different
Oh and why people might be hesitant to dress their children in eastern outfits, perhaps just to fit in especially for someone new to the country, to make friends without looking awkward or different
yeah....I thought of this as well.......but whenever we hook up with this group of people they always have their kids dressed in western clothes and mine is always, always, always dressed in desi clothing.
I grew up here and my child was born here......we are wearing desi-wear.....there's no pressure to fit in with us by wearing western clothing.....
Oh and why people might be hesitant to dress their children in eastern outfits, perhaps just to fit in especially for someone new to the country, to make friends without looking awkward or different
Not really those are the folks who have lived in western countries long enough to know that you do not have to force kids to do everything and let their personality get twisted. They know kids should be taught religion , morals, manners and etiquettes but when it comes to dress up following Islamic dress code is enough to enforce .
probably I am one of those kids or I was as my mother flooded my wardrobe with shalwar qameez, I felt more comfrtable wearing jeans/skirts etc.. why? because I had several issues with the shalwar qameez that was brought for me.
it takes forever to iron it all especially when you have limited room and everything is packed in suitcases
I found most of those shalwars see through- plain cotton ones and I just didnt feel comfortable wearing them.
the qameez will have fitting and I liked wearing lose clothes.. the concept that wasnt understood by people who bought my clothes or the tailor who stitched them.
It was a hassle to put them away.
and yes I did wear shalwar qameez to weddings and such but not for BBQ or get togethers.. I am sure many people talked about me but I felt comfortable and modest and thats all what matters in the end, IMO!!
Rest assured, I will be dressing my baby in shalwar qameez as long as I can but when it will come to making choices, I will have no problem with what they wear, as long as it's modest.
Well, it's nice to encourage your children to dress up in desi attire but I don't see what's wrong with wearing something different once in awhile. I normally do wear desi clothes when going to dawats and desi functions. But sometimes I wear a skirt or dress :/ usually because I've already worn my newer outfits to their place before and my older shalwar kameez are out of style. I didn't realize this could offend offend people.
When people wear western clothing, it doesn't always necessarily mean that they're ashamed of wearing desi clothing. Why can't we like both?
I don't think that anyone said it offends people Marmalade.
I'm just curious as to why it is not encouraged?
During my teen years I was expected to wear desi attire at home; mainly because in our home jeans and t-shirts were not considered modest....they reveal many parts of the body that are not apparent in shalwar kameez.
Yes....baggy jeans/trousers and loose-fitting t-shirts are not bad but with current fashion trends for skinny jeans and tight fitting t-shirts that reveal every angle and curve, I wouldn't consider that type of clothing modest.
I agree that preference for one doesn't necessarily mean dislike for the other however, the same kids that I am talking about wouldn't ever be caught in t-shirt and skirts back home.
When some of those same kids can't even converse in Urdu (or whatever regional mother tongue they have), what difference would the traditional wear make?
Not everybody is so hopelessly burgurfied, in my family the young boys love wearing Shalwar kameez on Fridays or for desi gatherings. Same with girls who'd been to Pakistan are simply in love with Shalwar Kameez after seeing how graceful, effortlessly stylish and wonderfully covered women look in that attire.
I belong to a very traditional Punjabi/Lahori family, wearing Shalwar kameez in family gatherings is very much the part of status quo. We love to flaunt it, starting from young girls to fiffty year old aunty.
I've discovered another thing that I just don't like.....
why must desi attire be restricted to certain occasions like weddings and eid? doesn't that just serve to grow the perception that shalwar kameez is a "costume" adorned to "give an impression of desi-ness" rather than regularly worn attire?
My bachis are crazy about desi outfits. But I have to say that a lot depends on the kid's temperament, parents choices...I see a lot of moms who like to dress their kids up in clothes 2 times bigger their size with the shalwars or pajamas sweeping the ground....for such folks, I think simple fitted western clothes look better :D
Okay before the real nit picking brigade comes and everyone gets their knickers in a collective twist. I actually meant that there is whole group of desis out there who have kept their children completely aloof about their heritage. Its either the language or clothes or both. If I come across a kid who is so ashamed to speak Urdu (which is so common), the last thing I would expect his parents to encourage him to wear traditional clothes (surprisingly you hardly ever see them wearing). At least to me knowing your mother tongue is lot more important than wearing the desi attire.
If anyone bothers to read the post, I said “some of them same kids can’t”. Did not make a generalization nor applied any rule. Simply gave a part of my personal observation.
I tried my hard to make my kids speak Urdu but they, for some reason, chose not to. I don’t know may be they’re shy or may be they just don’t wanna speak it right now.
Now the only thing that I can do is to make them wear Pakistani clothes. And yes, people ask me all the time “aap kay bachay Urdu kyon nahi boltay” they think I’m ashamed of Urdu.
