Thats what kids do,learn lessons :)
MixedBeauty - the above was my point but never mind.i didnt find it shocking,you did,challo mitee bao lol
excellent points :k:
Re: Children choosing their religion
Islam is truly a way of life, but I feel that we concentrate only on the rituals of Islam when teaching the kids and not its essence. we teach them the basics of namaz, how to read Quran and how to keep a roza but never really discuss why namaz, roza and hajj are farz, how the concept of zabiha/halal and haram foods actually makes a difference, what is actually the meaning and context of the ayaats we read in Quran...there is bound to be a disconnect when a child is not able to relate his life to his religion and consider them completely separate from each other.
Islam is truly a way of life, but I feel that we concentrate only on the rituals of Islam when teaching the kids and not its essence. we teach them the basics of namaz, how to read Quran and how to keep a roza but never really discuss why namaz, roza and hajj are farz, how the concept of zabiha/halal and haram foods actually makes a difference, what is actually the meaning and context of the ayaats we read in Quran...there is bound to be a disconnect when a child is not able to relate his life to his religion and consider them completely separate from each other.
EXACTLY!!!! I agree. That's a major issue. Parent will say "Namaz parho....gunnah milay ga.......you'll become a kaafir if you don't pray." But the kid never understands WHY they're supposed to pray. It's not explained to them. And I kid you not.........that I've actually heard stories of desis in their twenties asking questions like "Why do we pray?" It's a basic question and it should have been explained.
For us desis, Arabic is not our first language. Unlike the Arabs, we don't have the advantage of being able to understand the words in the Quran. The main purpose to read (whether you're reading a holy book, an email, a novel, the calendar, the time).........is TO COMPREHEND. IF you're not comprehending what's written......................then there's no point to it. It reminds me of kids who struggle with reading comprehension and ARE SOOOOO PROUD that they're read a paragraph so smoothly, without any slip-ups......but there's no comprehension......and that causes frustrations in them.
And desi parent (not only desi but of other races as well) will emphasize reading of Quran and will say "Oh my child just celebrated his Aameen" "Oh my daughter or son reads the Quran every weekend"................................BUT what do they understand from it?
When your recite the various surahs in your namaz........do you at least have a gist of what you're reciting? Do you know what the various parts of a namaz mean? Or are you just moving your lips and going through the motions? These are all things that need to be considered. In my opinion.....rather than rushing through the whole Quran without understanding anything........it's better if you recite even ONE surah and learn it's meaning by reading either the urdu or English translation.
I haven't read all of the posts, but I wanted to add a few thoughts.
First, I think if we look at our parents, many were "compelled" to follow the religion of their own parents without asking any questions - to ask questions was considered to be disrespectful of their elders and of the religion. This was a by-product of the old world South Asian mindset that we blindly follow our parents and not question their decisions or values. If you ask a lot of the elders why they do certain things (the cultural aspects of religious practice) - they answer "but we've always done things this way" or "hamare khandaan mai aisi hi kiya jaata tha" without at times being able to explain the religious justification for a certain religious practice.
Islam does not advocate blind faith - it encourages you to ask questions because it is a complete faith - answers to any questions can be found within the Quran. An individual's aqeeda is all the stronger for having asked questions and having the questions answered with correct religious explanations instead of merely going through the motions and religion as become ritualistic.
To the original questions:
1) Yes, I would be disappointed if my child did not practice my religion
2) Yes, I would be disappointed if my children did not practice the main tenets of the faith
But I would look to myself and see what sort of family environment I raised my child in - did I give him the right message, did I teach him by example my love for my religion and why I believe and follow the faith instead of commanding that my child do as I do without knowing why. I would look to where I was deficient in providing him with a moral and religious upbringing. If I am satisfied that I did the best that I could, I would fall back on my faith and pray that Allah grant him hidayat and that He put the love, respect and appreciation for my religion in my child’s heart.
3) No, I wouldn't mind my child asking questions about my faith or other religions. As I said above, one’s aqeeda is all the stronger for understanding Islam and why we do what we do. I would turn to learned scholars for questions that I could not answer and hope that the answers provided gives him the confidence and strength in his faith that he needs.
mostly if kids dont practice Islam (or whatever religion), its due to parents not practicing it themselves. When kids don't see parents praying 5 times a day, why would they?
If you try to be example yourself there are very less chances that kid is going to go some other way but khuda na karey if he dies try to question, I'll be happy to assist him/her but I'll off course not appreciate and will do everything I can to keep them on Islamic faith.
I have a firm believe I'll be questioned too about this on day of judgement.
**WRONG!!
My MIL prayed 5 times a day n reads Quran but somehow it ddnt rub of onto the kids, none of the sons read namaz only one reads Jumma n daughter reads namaz when she can :)
so no its not **all upto the parents, it takes 2 to tango, the child needs to b willing as does the parent
Oh and i forgot to add, these days society plays a big role in almost EVERYTHING, including religion.
I see many kids choosing to follow what their mates do rather than what their parents teach, n then parents dnt say much too, just goes to show how much control sme ppl have on their children
Re: Children choosing their religion
I will be disappointed but the question is would I feel guilty about it? I donno. Maybe.
WRONG!!
My MIL prayed 5 times a day n reads Quran but somehow it ddnt rub of onto the kids, none of the sons read namaz only one reads Jumma n daughter reads namaz when she can :) so no its not all upto the parents, it takes 2 to tango, the child needs to b willing as does the parent
Oh and i forgot to add, these days society plays a big role in almost EVERYTHING, including religion. I see many kids choosing to follow what their mates do rather than what their parents teach, n then parents dnt say much too, just goes to show how much control sme ppl have on their children
I have to agree with you sweetu - giving children a foundation is great. I have seen family members do that and be practising muslims. But what to do with the outside peer pressure?
I have seen teenagers do a 180 with their morals at 15.
Or question things that they were raised up with that don't make sense to them.
Then you have the who cares - it not a big deal.
Some when they leave for college. I guess it might be experimentation.
But most to come back to the ways of their parents. But each generation is a bit different. how many of us practice and believe in the SAME rituals as our grandparents. Yes the 5 pillars are the same (prayer, fasting, zakat, hajj and shahada) but execution can be varied.
Re: Children choosing their religion
well as someone here said, the emphasis is way too much on the rituals aspect (which is easier for parents to enforce) which might seem tedious to a 15 yr old and to avoid those rituals he/she might just be put off by the religion itself. thats where parenting comes in, how to incorporate religion in our day to day lives so that it does not seem too impossible, interfering or overbearing to follow for a confused (i.e hormonal) teen. yes easier said than done.