When I said slap, I didn't mean 24/7 dishum dishum!!! That's abuse!
Re: Children choosing their religion
^ Darling, I have never ever stole in my life. My mum told me right from wrong. I wudnt have the balls to steal anyway. And lie? White lies like i ate all my dinner. My mum knows everything and i mean everything i've ever done. Im slowly telling my dad about my bf now. I dont like liars, i absoloutly hate them.
Dont ask me questions you dont know about luv. Thank you.
Re: Children choosing their religion
I don't know what I'll do. Who knows? But I will really be dissapointed. I do think that forcing religion on a child turns him/her off even more. I guess you have to make sure you teach all the important Islamic values to your children from beginning. I strongly believe in keeping children in good company and being a good role model for them. I don't know how good I'll be, I'm certainly not a very religious person! :o
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Would be dissapointed in your children if they didn't have the same level of spirtuality, religion as you?
Knowing my level of spirituality, I would be extremely happy if they dont have the same level
Re: Children choosing their religion
^ honesty is refreshing :D
i'll say whatever i like to you, and check out the beauty forums how you go on about things.
that was sarcasm!
Re: Children choosing their religion
Exactly LUV!
Re: Children choosing their religion
I once called a a girl Luv and I meant it .. but oos ne thappar maar diyaa :(
Re: Children choosing their religion
@TLK ... LOL ... i can't wait to see the fiery replies that could/might come up later .. you jumped right into their affectionate conversation :P
as for the topic .. I would really want my children to be spiritually quite strong and follow Islam in its true spirit. The best I could do is to practise it completely myself first. Keep chiding them for all the wrong they do. Tell them about wrong and right. In short make a total islamic Mahol at home so that the kids get used to it.
And then when they grow old, let them come to terms with it on their own. Too much daant and maar is not good. but constant advising counselling and even dant in case of prayers should be there to make it a habit.
My mother MashAllah being VERY religious and well versed in Islamic History and Teachings was a little easy going on Namaz. I did started regularly at a later age. But it was hard getting used to. A little more reprimand from her side would have helped more. But am still SO grateful to her for guiding me and showing me the true spirit of Islam. Which neglectful parents of today don't even bother to do so :)
now we re getting somehwere 
with this thread lol
but strictly speaking, Chicken Biryaanis example about her parents is exactly like mine in our house .. like in about 45 mins .. a program on Ummah channel is gona come called bahaar e shariat whre its for 2 hours ‘‘yerh its late but its weekend tomorrow no school no nothing’’ and in that its question n answers session where a prominant scholar is answering the question ..so my dad calls us when it begins and we all learn from it ..
if parents took out the time to take care of the education of their children and set em on a path where they wont slip .. then when they re experienced enuf .. they ll know that our parents were right and thank god we re on this path .. be it religion or anything for examle just today my father was talking to one of his muqtadee / friend asking him to help that my son is thinking of going into pharmacy ..and since his son is already a pharmacist .. maybe he could help ..so now his son is coming down our house tomorrow to help give some advice ..etc .. now my bro could have done it himself ..but what my dad is doing is setting a pthway for my brother ..to follow ..
That’s exactly what I had wanted to say in the first place so thanks for saying it in a better way… that hopefully no one will have any issues against 
BTW… “affectionate conversation”… 
and TLK, are you serious???
Re: Children choosing their religion
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The Quran says there is no compulsion in religion.
You can't force someone to believe. And having children that don't have sincere iman in their hearts and are only going through the motions of Islam..................would that earn them a place in heaven?
Allah is closer to us than our jugular vein.........He knows if you believe or don't believe. Imposing beliefs on your child might even backfire BIG TIME rather than help the situation.
Instead, I think it's better to engage in open dialog with your child. Ask why they feel that way about Islam. Ask them if they have any questions. And try to answer the questions using examples from Quran/Hadith, etc. You do what you can. In the end.....it's the individual's decision. Teenagers are going through a stage where they're trying to figure out their identity.......they're naturally curious. It's natural to ask questions about things to seek clarification. Your iman should be based on reason and sense.
In my opinion...........I've noticed that desi parents don't talk to their kids about issues which they deem to be "Haaw haai" or too conservative or unnecessary.........and then wring their hands when problems occur. I've also noticed that desi parent can send their kids conflicting messages about religion through their actions..........and this confuses kids. I once heard a desi mom say that it's okay if her son doesn't pray because he is a boy. They have this "Larkon ki aur baat hai" attitude. Instead they watch their daughters like hawks. This results in resentment and rebelliousness in kids. The kids then associate their parents' DOUBLE STANDARDS with ISLAM...................and fail to realize that they actually stem from culture and NOT religion.
That's another problem. When desi parents treat cultural ideas as Islamic............it can make kids confused. When you try to actually PRACTICE what you preach.........it makes it more meaningful to kids. When you create the appropriate foundation at a younger age........it makes things easier. It becomes harder to adapt a more "righteous" lifestyle at an older age.......when it's not something you were were used to from a young age.
Another thing I've noticed about desi parents is their belief that "Adults should not be questioned." I understand that it's annoying when kids ask you questions about something you told them to do. I teach and I know that agitation all to well. But when you snap at the kid and give a response such as** "You're going to listen to me because I told you so" ** ............ ** "I'm the parent, do not question my authority"** .............. ** "I pay the bills. ................ You're living under my room. ............ So you'll do as I say." ** ..............."That's just the way we do it................ This is how it is. Now get to it." ............... "If you don't do this, you're going to burn in Hell." ............. "Allah will cast you in hell if you do this or don't do that." ...............or the best one of all: **"You've ruined our reputation. Log kya Kahain gay? Naak Katvaa di hai tum ne! Dragged our good family name through the muck!"
^^^^ NONE of these comments will answer the child's question. They will shut the kid up temporarily and then weeks/months later you will hear the same question again. OR.........the question will remain unanswered in the child's head and he or she will feel resentment and will try to find answers for it that are **EVEN MORE RIDICULOUS AND SENSELESS than the ones given by the parent. You say "Bismillahir Rahman ir Raheem" (In the name of God the Most Merciful the Most Beneficent) before starting anything..........Allah's mercy is the quality that we're reminded of most. Making Allah seem harsh to your children all the time......is not right either. Faith that's based mostly on fear as opposed to sincere understanding makes for a very shaky foundation.
Re: Children choosing their religion
^^ Imposing and Practising are two different things .. thats all i z gotta say, If you practice your Imaan ..you wont need to Impose. Simple as that. How hard is it to even grasp this concept 
Yes, imposing and practicing are two different things. Did I say that they were one and the same?
I was talking about the way that some parents teach their children about religion. These parents might be practicing themselves (namaz, roza, zaka, everything)…but the WAY that they teach their kids is not right. They may not teach with patience, for example. Some of them assume that things should just be understood and followed. You’d be surprised at how some Muslim “kids” my age didn’t know about some of the basic Islamic concepts and rules. And their parents were practicing (5 times namaz…as well as other pillars)…conservative…but their method of teaching it to their kids was either non-effective or non-existant.
I know of someone whose parents are soooooooooo religious. They practice their religion…dress, namaz, etc. But the method in which it was taught is not right (won’t go into detail)…and as a result the offspring has taken to doing the EXACT OPPOSITE of what parents have taught her behind their backs.
I knew this woman who was a good cook…but couldn’t explain her recipes well to people. She practices well…teaching it was another issue. My mom is good at directions and math…teaching/explaining it to others…not so much. My brother is a very good driver…but when it comes to teaching…he loses patience after about 2 minutes. Not everybody is built the same. Experts in practice may practice well…but they may not necessarily be great at communicating it to others.
You might argue that one who practices Islam properly in EVERY sense…will also know that Islam has to be taught in the appropriate manner. And you’re right there. BUT even then…people will vary on their opinion on what is considered the “Best and Effective” method. And because human nature is contradictory and has its ups and downs…MOST OF US…do have a hard time practicing every single rule.
The “Imposing” here refers to the method of teaching and parenting. Children receive their foundation from parents…n eve practicing parents may not know how to teach it well. How HARD is it to understand that???
excuse me i quoted you because i was shocked that a 6 year old would steal
MixedBeauty a 6 year old is a very young child, children act up and can be naughty no?
Back to the topic, i think i would be really disappointed if my kids turned out to have weak faith. My parents are religious, most of my khandaan is, i too try to be a good muslim and if i had kids,as a mother i would feel it my duty to teach my kids about islam and to bring them up to be good muslims. i too would feel a failure if they didnt have strong faith in Allah or didnt practise the basics of islam even. i would never force it on my kids, id just try my best to raise them from the very start in the arms of islam and pray they will take Allah into their hearts. there is only so much you can do when your kids reach a certain age.
sazzie I wasn’t being naughty, I was being really really stupid! Learned my lesson too..
MixedBeauty a 6 year old is a very young child, children act up and can be naughty no?
Erm ... YES!
I said i was shocked a 6 year old can do that. And i still am.