I found this short critique by a lesbian mother quite interesting. The unstated other reason for the following view was that she was not the biological mother and since the label “mother” in all cultures is such an exclusive term, she was constantly having to explain to others just “who the hell she was”. Having their children call them by their first name was an attempt toward an egalitarian relationsip where the biological mother would not be priveleged.
“I’ve always been quite keen that Peter should know what our names are anyway. I think there’s something completely depersonalizing about the way women sit around and talk about a child’s mummy as if she’s got no identity. It’s fine if there’s a baby in the room and it’s your child, but everyone will say, “Ask Mummy, tell Mummy.” But you become this amorphous mummy to everybody. All women are sort of mummy, they don’t have their own identity. So I’ve been quite keen that he should grow up knowing that people have roles and names, and that you should be able to distinguish between the two.”
I had never thought about it in that way but I think I agree with the reasoning. I would not mind being called Sarah instead of mother or some such variant. My reason is that I do not want my child to develop a view where (s)he sees me as only a mother, as a role that revolves around the child’s needs, especially since typically women take time off from work to have children. It is very obvious to all children that a father is not just that, but a worker, a contributor.
It would be so weird though, disrespectful almost because I don’t know anyone who calls their parents by their first names. Are first names really less respectful than mother / father? I don’t think so, I think it is just cultural. There is nothing inherently respectful in ammi / abu etc.
It is the most adorable thing to witness. I wouldn’t want my child first word that he/she utters to be my first name.