Have any of you dealt with sending your child to childcare? How did you feel? How did you cope? How old was your child when you sent him/her?
I’m returning to work as of Monday and will be sending my daughter three days to childcare, and the rest with nano… im finding it sooooo hard although I think she’ll be arrite… Is it supposed to be this hard? How did your child/ren find it?
Re: Childcare and you...
She will make a fuss in the beginning if shes never been to one before. You might want to keep some time aside to stay with her first couple days. If you leave her there and walk away the very first day she will spend a good time crying. :-) Three or four of my seven nephews and neices did the same at their first time. And believe it or not, i vividly remember crying like a eid ka bakra my first day in montessori back in 1984 :-p
Re: Childcare and you...
hehe... i left her when she was 5 months... but that didnt go too well
She has orientation today, we'll see how that goes... Inshallah it'll be good. The childcare people think she's very independant Mashallah.. I hope so!
Re: Childcare and you…
How old is she? I sent y first one when she was 3 , and she hated the daycare, she would beg to not go and used to cry. I in the end got her out in couple of months and felt guilty as hel:(
But anyway I had found a montessorri school that is actually a school and she loved it there when she was abt 4. She has grown up to be a loving and smart kid.
Again the age factor and your gut feeling is really important in such matters.Hope you feel btter:hugz:
Re: Childcare and you...
well
i have worked in a daycare before and personally i find private babysitting to be alot better so if you can maybe try to find a lady who does babysitting at home..
Re: Childcare and you…
i ahve no idea how to answer this b/c i have no kids but
OMG SADZZZ…i was JUST thinking about you the past couple of days wondering where you were and what you were up to now! how is everything?? 
Re: Childcare and you...
well i have worked in a daycare before and personally i find private babysitting to be alot better so if you can maybe try to find a lady who does babysitting at home..
I would agree to that too but more importantly is what the age of the kid is...If they are old enough for school then thats a bttter choice then a day care or private babysitter:)
Re: Childcare and you…
lol.. how are u?!
im good.. busy with stuff (as usual) going back to work… thinking about what to do with lil one
she hated childcare… ive been told that the younger they are, the easier they adjust, but its just sooo hard to see ur kid cry.. especially if ur kid aint the crying type… aaagh!
so maybe.. its off to nano’s house…
Re: Childcare and you...
Mines was one year and 5 months old... the first month we took it easily, I stayed with her there, gradually we increased the time and i would go away for few hours. Now she loves it so much that she doesnt want to come back home (mashallah). she has all these cute little friends and she is reciting their names at home like .. 'monnnnna' 'kikkii' ect...
At first I felt very guilty and I cried more than her for sending her away(she actually didnt cry at all!). She learns a lot there and doesnt bother me at home so much when she goes to child care as to when she is at home all day.
I dont work full time, so I pick her up at 2 pm, after her nap.
It will take time to get used to it and when gradually when u both are used to it, will be ok then.
Re: Childcare and you...
saadiaB I am so glad to read your post. I am in similar situation as the poster, only now I am looking for Childcare center 5 days a week. before me & hubby managed so he can be home with my son during the day and I in the evening, but he is starting new job & I am terrified of the same thing. We have looked at a few options in our area...the one we like the people there seem friendly but I am worried about baby. He is 13 months and at 14 months we need to put him with someone. I was thinking along your lines that he will learn to socialize, learn a little bit of the abc's/songs, sharing, etc. Not sure though, the guilty feeling is kicking in, but I don't have much other choice. Inshallah it'll work out for the better.
Re: Childcare and you...
well i have worked in a daycare before and personally i find private babysitting to be alot better so if you can maybe try to find a lady who does babysitting at home..
never a good idea.
Re: Childcare and you...
I feel sorry for little kids left by their mums in childcare.
Re: Childcare and you…
leme go get PCG 
Re: Childcare and you...
I feel sorry for little kids left by their mums in childcare.
^ well it is okay if both the parents and kids are getting along well with the transition.... it is their own personal choice. I also would like to add that there are situations where it is inevitable to just sit with the kids at home until they are four or five or until they start going to the public school.... some moms can have financial burdens while others can experience some emotional breakdowns which can anyway lead to a bad unhealthy parent-child relationship... and i am talking from personal experience here.
However, there are pros and cons for both childcare and babysitter.... none of them is better than the other or can't compare to what parents can give to their child. Although at the childcare center there is less one-on-one interaction, cleanliness etc as compare to the babysitter. but there are more chances of child abuse (physical, emotional, or both) or negligence at a babysitter place where the babysitter is not under any direct supervision or scrutiny.... this is not to say taht the childcare center would be the safest place for a child, but atleast there children and teachers are being supervised most of the time leaving minimal chances for any kind of abuse.. the reason is quite clear, teachers at the daycare are not running household errands while taking care of children unlike a babysitter does at her house.
As for you sadz, your kid will be alright InshAllah. It might be difficult in the beginning but then you guys will get used to it. Yeah spend some time with her for the first couple of days. Be firm in saying goodbyes, cause thats where the problem arises... tell her that mommy has to go - make the leaving process more predictable rather than just sneaking out- give her hugs and kisses, do let her know that you will come back to pick her up at this and this time. BUT don't go back to sooth her if she starts crying or moaning, and she will get the grip after a while. You can always call the center to check on her and don't hesitate to pay a surprise visit to the center during your lunch breaks.
Ask lots of questions from her teachers and show your concerns and interest in her daily activities. If you don't like anything or feel that your child is being neglected SPEAK UP. Almost every desi parent that i have come across at the daycare centers are more laid back, easy-going, going with the flow kind of parents.... this in return puts their child at the less-worth-paying-attention list of the daycare staff.
Re: Childcare and you...
^ well it is okay if both the parents and kids are getting along well with the transition.... it is their own personal choice. I also would like to add that there are situations where it is inevitable to just sit with the kids at home until they are four or five or until they start going to the public school.... some moms can have financial burdens while others can experience some emotional breakdowns which can anyway lead to a bad unhealthy parent-child relationship... and i am talking from personal experience here. .
I don't know what you experienced that made you think like this.....but here is what the experts say:
' -indeed, psychologists and paediatricians all agree that parents' major expenditure on their offspring should be in the form of time rather than money. (Toxic Childhood[p57] by Sue Palmer)
Re: Childcare and you…
Lol! I do believe the same thing happened to me when I joined nusery back in 1990:smack:
Re: Childcare and you...
I kind of agree with hareem01 unless its excruciating circumstances.
Re: Childcare and you...
I feel sorry for little kids left by their mums in childcare.
I kind of agree with hareem01 unless its excruciating circumstances.
I feel sorry for mothers who don't have the luxury of making their decisions and are forced to do one or the other either by circumstnaces or society.
It's no one's place to say whether the kids will be better or worse off. Each family has its own needs and wants, not to mention their own circumstances. Some women have no choice but to go to work anyway even though they would like to stay home, while there are some women who want a life outside the house. That doesn't make each better or worse mothers, nor does it give any of you a right to say whether their children are deserving of your sympathy.
Re: Childcare and you...
I don't know what you experienced that made you think like this.....but here is what the experts say:
' -indeed, psychologists and paediatricians all agree that parents' major expenditure on their offspring should be in the form of time rather than money. (Toxic Childhood[p57] by Sue Palmer)
and the time should be quality and not necesarily quantity.
i mean if it is both then that is the best but far too many times its not quality time.
I simply dont see too many stay at home moms, especially desi ones really enrich their kids time, and this I notice here in the west let alone in Pakistan where there are not as many opportunities.
parks, museums, gyms, etc etc simply dont seem to be on the list of to dos for many stay at home moms, some do but many just dont do it or dont do it enough.
Re: Childcare and you...
I guess in the end it matters how much quality time you are spending with your children.
I know of moms who spend all day at home on the phone or socializing with their friends while taking their kids to the library or to the park, or even for a simple walk seems like a major burden to them. They don't spend time teaching the kids or playing with them, but being home means just being around not necessarily there...if you know what I mean.
If you have to be at work, you can add value to your kid's life by giving them whole- hearted full attention when you are with them.
Don't feel guilty. Allah sees your niyat and committment and will give you guidance and protection accordingly.