Scary topic. But say, a person has grown up, and later realizes he/she might have been molested but aren’t sure, like if the the molester was really molesting(intentions, not completely physical) or not. How can one determine if he/she was molested?
Re: Child molestation
lil ash are you referring to a situation when the grown up was a child and has no/little memories.
Can you clarify the situation a bit.
Re: Child molestation
You can not accuse someone of such serious crime based on suspicion only.
Re: Child molestation
I know what your saying. Talk to someone... most schools have counsling servicce available.. talk it all out and get it out of ur system.
Re: Child molestation
You need to go to a therapist. This kind of stuff isn't really...I guess it's hard to give advice on from one person to another. Some people repress memories and it manifests in other ways in their lives. Only a professional can really help you deal with it and learn to move on.
Re: Child molestation
I'm not accusing anyone Farishta, simply trying to figure out what molestation really is. And just to give a clearer picture, at the of around 11-12 someone gives a "massage" and that person kind of makes its way towards the chest ahem and feels stuff. Later tells you not to tell anyone. ? Is it really a massage or I dont know? Again not accusing anyone.
Re: Child molestation
I'm not accusing anyone Farishta, simply trying to figure out what molestation really is. And just to give a clearer picture, at the of around 11-12 someone gives a "massage" and that person kind of makes its way towards the chest ahem and feels stuff. Later tells you not to tell anyone. ? Is it really a massage or I dont know? Again not accusing anyone.
That is abuse. Wrong. And Disgusting.
That is how perpetrators/predators operate. I think if someone finds themselves in that position, and repressed memories or confusions surface, I would implore them to seek out professional help in the form of a therapist/doctor.
Re: Child molestation
I would say I'm rather confused. Been confused about it for years, but I don't think I need a therapist. I've turned out just fine. Although I do feel wierd awkward around/alone around that person as that person is around me/my family sometimes. I do have personality issues but I wouldn't blame it on that incident or should I?
Re: Child molestation
Honey, I'm sure you are perfectly normal in every aspect of your life, but I still maintain that there is no shame in talking to a trained professional to figure out if something did or did not happen to you...
I don't want to play doctor here, because I am in no way qualified to make a diagnosis, but I do have experience in seeking out the help of grief counselors/therapists for other matters and if I were in your position, and thought that there may be a chance that something like that happened to me, I would not walk, but run to a counselor trained in such matters to try to find out.....
Child molestation
A friend of mine thinks she was molested but doesn't remember much because she didn't know anything about all of that stuff. Now she kind of recalls being touched and asked to touch at the moment she didn't think what was happening was abuse. She is married and has kids but she is very suspicious of ppl around her kids. It is so sad that these freaks get away with this stuff.
Re: Child molestation
I've mentioned this in another thread. We had this uncle in our family who made me and my sister very very uncomfortable around him. I don't think anyone else in the family noticed his behavior because there isn't anyone as religious as him. When we grew up a little, we told each other how we felt about this person but still felt like there was a huge burden on us.... we know something and we need to tell this to someone. We told our mother and I can't tell you how well she handled everything. Because he was part of our family we knew no one would understand this all better than our own mother. I know not every parent is like that but I can truly say that we are blessed to be able to talk to her about anything which really helps us.
Sometimes the errr "sick" person doesn't show obvious signs of molestation. Just their behavior is odd.. odd around kids, girls
Re: Child molestation
^ AHHH EXACTLY! I don't know if I should tell my mom, I'm not that close to her to share something like this, its so uncomfortable. Plus he's a relative so I don't know how things will be afterwards with them, they aren't too well to start off with. It's wierd but that relative of mine is always in my business and puts me down a lot but for some odd reason I don't attack him back while I do that with everyone else.
Re: Child molestation
A friend of mine thinks she was molested but doesn't remember much because she didn't know anything about all of that stuff. Now she kind of recalls being touched and asked to touch at the moment she didn't think what was happening was abuse. She is married and has kids but she is very suspicious of ppl around her kids. It is so sad that these freaks get away with this stuff.
I think we all need to be suspicious. Of everyone.
Re: Child molestation
Sahar, has your friend ever considered hypnosis to get to the bottom of what really happened when she was younger?
Re: Child molestation
^ Not that she mentioned. I don't think she's considered getting any sort of psych therapy for it. She talks like she assumes she'll never know because she doesn't remember anything now.
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Your friend might be repressing those memories. Hypnosis can bring them back. I would suggest she go for it, if only for closure.
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^I will bring it up to her the next time the opportunity arises, without being too awkward, hopefully.
Re: Child molestation
Awesome. Let me know how it goes. :)
Re: Child molestation
OP: that is Abuse. The elder knew it was wrong hence the warning not to tell anybody.Sadly the abuser always knows that the child trusts them and is scared and therefore abuses the trust placed by the child.
Later the child is hard pressed to understand if what happened was "really wrong" or it was their imagination.Since they trust the abuser and see their parents etc and others trusting them; it is hard for a child to come to the conclusion that what happened was wrong, moreover confide in someone about it and seek help.
Read about "memory Repression". Most of the times victims block out the abuse because it is unpleasant. However many years later something triggers that memory and can become an obstacle if not dealt with.
Don't think by going to a counselor you are crazy.At best it will help you figure out your own personality and maybe your reasoning and rationale.
It's a pity that there is still a stigma attached with therapists in our society.
Re: Child molestation
molestation is terrible I've been protected by my mother very heavily because of what happened to her and been educated as well. I've learned what was right and what was wrong at an early age so I wouldn't be so trusting with older men and women but I still remember having my violin teacher (male) tell me about girls he taught that would do things for him and he asked if I would do the same. He once touched me inappropriately but then I stopped going to classes and my parents gave up. I never told my parents though because I only realized what happened to me recently. I never used to have the fear of people touching me when I was younger but after that I avoided physical contact. I wouldn't even sit next to my friends. Now I'm better I can hug etc but some part of me still gets anxious about it.