Female: educated, pretty, nice, great personality, all the bells and whistles are there, etc. However, she has been with at least 3 men that you know of…not in the marriage context…casual relationships. Is she cheap or sexually liberated?
Scenario 2
Male: educated, good looking, nice, great personality, all the bells and whistles are there, etc. However, he has been with at least 3 women that you know of…not in the marriage context…casual relationships. Is he cheap or “the man”?
Furthermore, if there are double standards for gender…are they particular ONLY to desies or are they true all across the board…?
p.s. - Immature responses are discouraged and will be promptly deleted. I want real answers.
^ If you think they're cheap...do you think that way because you're desi and Muslim or do you think most men (irrespective of culture or religion) think the same?
^ If you think they're cheap...do you think that way because you're desi and Muslim or do you think most men (irrespective of culture or religion) think the same?
see, you said casual relationship. That means that they dont like commitments but want to enjoy the other aspects of a relationship. That is what I called characterless aspect of personality, nothing to do with being a muslim or pakistani
see, you said casual relationship. That means that they dont like commitments but want to enjoy the other aspects of a relationship. That is what I called characterless aspect of personality, nothing to do with being a muslim or pakistani
Okay, so both are cheap or do you think a man would get away with more because of "boys will be boys" mentality?
there are multiple perspectives here....religious...cultural...etc.
hard to say...but personally, it's unacceptable.
Do you think you find it unacceptable only because of your upbringing?
^no, i am at a stage where i can differentiate good from bad myself..and can question my upbirnging too..so it has to do more with the religious aspect probably and something i personally dont like =\
Female: educated, pretty, nice, great personality, all the bells and whistles are there, etc. However, she has been with at least 3 men that you know of...not in the marriage context...casual relationships. Is she cheap or sexually liberated?
Scenario 2
Male: educated, good looking, nice, great personality, all the bells and whistles are there, etc. However, he has been with at least 3 women that you know of...not in the marriage context...casual relationships. Is he cheap or "the man"?
Furthermore, if there are double standards for gender............are they particular ONLY to desies or are they true all across the board...?
p.s. - Immature responses are discouraged and will be promptly deleted. I want real answers.
I hate to say but I completely agree with boss here, who ever wants can hump, nothing to be admired there.
As for sexually liberated men/women they better be with other sexually liberated men/women, just as suggested in quran.
Okay, so both are cheap or do you think a man would get away with more because of "boys will be boys" mentality?
although I agree that we have double standard when it comes to thappa laga'o on character of a man vs a woman, but in reality both are characterless people
Men are programmed to "spread the seed". Men also have an easier time than women treating sex as just sex because women are more emotional.
As for why there's a double standard, it's because for a woman to go out and get sex, it's almost no problem. She just has to put on a little make up, hit a club, and guys will come to her.
If a guy can regularly "hook up" with women, he has to have confidence, charisma, and for lack of a better word, game. He has to have some social proof. Whether you hate a guy who's promiscuous or not, a man with the qualities I mentioned (alpha male) is attractive to women.
If a man and a woman have sex, and never see each other again, the penalty is higher for a woman. By that I mean a man can sleep with a random woman and walk away whereas a woman who sleeps with a stranger may become pregnant.
Birth control and all that aside, biologically and in terms of mating habits, humans are living in the stone age. So for a guy to be considered "the man" while a woman is called loose is a social stereotype across all races. Not just a desi thing.
And women can denounce a man who sleeps around and a lot of women genuinely do detest guys like that, but to say that she doesn't find him attractive at all is a lie. Every woman wants a player. Or at least a player who can exercise self control, which many men can't.
I was having a conversation with a friend and their viewpoint was that DESI people are FAR more stereotypical than NON-DESI. I do agree with this.
However, they went so far as to say there is no gender bias or double standard in non-desi societies and it ONLY exists among DESI people. I disagree with this because I do not know many non-desies that would ignore a promiscuous woman's past and take her home to mama.
Yes, stereotypes exist and they are MUCH more pronounced in the desi society. However, they exist in the western world too. This is why one gender's slut is another's stud.
I personally am very defiant of norms. I don't care about traditional expectations of the male and female. I don't care whether men are programmed to sow their seed or whether women are programmed to mate with the man who has the best attributes on display. Evolutionary theories and what not don't justify different moral standards for men and women.
So PERSONALLY, if I call the women is scenario A liberated, I would do the same for the man. If I call her loose, I would hold the same opinion of the man.
As far as the majority of the world is concerned, yep they have double standards. Desi or non-desi, the same ideas exist. HOWEVER, desis fall on the extreme end of the spectrum.
Every woman wants a player. Or at least a player who can exercise self control, which many men can't.
Female: educated, pretty, nice, great personality, all the bells and whistles are there, etc. However, she has been with at least 3 men that you know of...not in the marriage context...casual relationships. Is she cheap or sexually liberated?
Scenario 2
Male: educated, good looking, nice, great personality, all the bells and whistles are there, etc. However, he has been with at least 3 women that you know of...not in the marriage context...casual relationships. Is he cheap or "the man"?
Furthermore, if there are double standards for gender............are they particular ONLY to desies or are they true all across the board...?
Yes, stereotypes exist and they are MUCH more pronounced in the desi society. However, they exist in the western world too. This is why one gender's slut is another's stud.
Exactly, double standards are everywhere, but prevalent more in some societies than others. I think its still so existent in desi culture because we let it be. This aunty that lives in my neighborhood won't let her daughter go to college because people will think she is "cheap" and "had se bareh ghee" whereas her son does everything under the sun and when someone mention him she laughs and says "biwi aiye gi thoo theek hoon jayegah". Of course when kids grow up in this environment, they learn this double standard and carry it on.
^That's just disgusting. The mother will probably get him a naive biwi who's waiting for him to show her the ways of the world.
And what's funny is that these very boys go on to become the hypocritical fathers of tomorrow who become ultra protective of their daughters so that they are not used. Because they know what's out there.
Before I'm attacked, yeah I know exceptions exist.
And I totally agree with you Jazzy when you say that these standards exist because we let them. Just look at these forums. It's rampant with women saying 'boys will be boys, as long as he is past the experimental phase, I don't mind.'
But if I have to hold anyone more responsible than others, it has to be the mothers who laugh such discrimination off. Bunch of bs.
