He is not abusive , loser or despises you at all . Help him , he will get over it. Lend him a shoulder , he did lend a should to you when you needed it.
He might not be doing anything else behind your back. He feels the need to be high sometime , you need to find out why .
This. Other issues you have with his family and what-not are separate.
You need to tread with care. Be there for him. You don't need to get confrontational or angry, he really doesn't need that and you may push him to crave that high. I don't want to trivialise this but IMO (as long as this isn't causing financial problems and/or he's not in danger getting it) there are much worse addictions i.e. alcoholism.
You can only find out why he is doing this and the level of addiction is by having a heart to heart with him. Then you can work on getting over this together. You may find he has some serious worries and to me, addressing those and working through them will be the real struggle.
stoppit is right she knows what she is talking about.
Epidemiology
**Prevalence****According to a Home Office survey, cocaine use in the 16-24 year age group rose significantly between the years 1994 and 2000.[SUP]1[/SUP][SUP],[/SUP][SUP]5[/SUP] Use is increasing among young; in 2000, 5% of people in England and Wales aged of 16-29 years took cocaine at some time during the previous 12 months (1% in 1996).[SUP]2[/SUP]Home Office statistics released in December 2005 showed a 16% increase in total cocaine-related offences in England and Wales compared to the previous year and an 8% increase in crack cocaine offences.[SUP]6[/SUP]
Data released by the NHS Information Centre for the year 2006-2007 showed that 2.6% of adults reported taking cocaine, an estimated 835 000 people. This is an increase of 0.2% from the previous year and a 2% rise since 1996 and must be taken in context against a background of a reduction in use of other drugs, particularly cannabis.[SUP]7[/SUP]
One review of information from official UK sources found that 1022 deaths from any cause were recorded in which the presence of cocaine or crack cocaine was mentioned. Cocaine or crack cocaine was the sole drug mentioned in 36% of cases. An increase in availability of cocaine in the UK has led to a decrease in cocaine prices. This has been associated with higher consumption levels and, in turn, has contributed to an increase in the number of cocaine-related fatalities.[SUP]8[/SUP]
Early childhood trauma appears to be a risk factor in the development of cocaine abuse.**
I apologize to act like Sherlock Holmes Ruby but many things dont add up in your story ..
The bathroom was locked but you found it odd and asked him to open it? Strange, cause even when my wife and I are alone at home, I like to lock so she accidentally does not walk in and find me wiping my bum. Few things require extreme privacy.
you broke the lock? and how did you do that without him getting the time to hide the cocaine?
I also have little disbelief on this that you said that you are married for 10 years and just moved into this area, means he also does not know many people. You dont know many to ask for help, but he knows enough to buy cocaine?
You are right The plot of this story is loose but somehow she caught the husband snorting cocaine that is what is important. And what she needs to do now is even more important.
This morning at 6am i woke up to find husband not in bed. went downstairs, he was in the bathroom. Door locked. as its only me and him in the house we dont usually lock the bathroom door. i asked him to open it and he said 2 mins. something didnt feel right.
i broke the lock on the door and walked in to find him snorting cocaine.
he was so sh*tfaced he gave me no answers. iv now come to work and dont have a clue of what to do when i go home. how do i react. my instincts are tellin me to kick him out to teach him a lesson cos i feel this isnt the first time. i dont know wat else he's been doing behind my back.
i thought i knew him after 10 years but how fooled was i
Two kind of people turn towards drugs....
who are really up for anything, love excitement, wanna try everything in life.
who think there life is totally f'ed.
Where do u think ur husband belongs ... what r the reason ? Dont panic. try to stay calm and help him.
You didnt find him on bed but u found him in house. It could be worst.
hubby and i don't lock the bathroom door, so that's not weird.
we live in rented accom and the bathroom lock is one that can be opened from the outside with a knife or screwdriver, prolly coz an old person lived there before, so not weird either.
i dunno what city she lives in but you could be in your first night in London and get coke, so that's not weird either.
you don't need to make an investigation if you want to tell the OP you don't believe her, just do it.
ahaan, first of all she use the word broke the lock, second unless she carries a screwdriver in her pocket, it would be a minute between when she asked to open and then went to the kitchen to bring screwdriver to open the door. Enough warning and time for hubby to hide or better flush down the cocaine.
And stopit, if I dont believe something, I like to tell why I did not believe hence my detective cap
Maybe I'm really sheltered or clueless... but I was a little shocked when I read the cocaine part. Perhaps cocaine is now increasingly common in England, but I'm pretty sure it isn't in the US. I live in druggie cities. If I hear that someone is smoking weed/cannabis, I'm not all that shocked because I know of Muslims/Pakis who have done that... but cocaine... haven't really come across any Pakis that snort it.
Red Ruby... like the others have said to you, cocaine is a hard drug. It isn't marajuana. He needs help. You said that you have no one to go to and his family is messed up. When you see him at home, have a talk with him. Tell him you want to help him. Ask him where he gets it from, what problems are going on in his life that he's snorting, etc. In the future, keep tabs on your finances. Try to see what kind of people he hangs out with. If he doesn't quit soon or go to rehab, you need to tell his family and leave because you don't know how strong his addiction is or what he is capable of if he's not in his senses. Also, remember that you can't help him unless he acknowledges he has a problem. If he thinks there's nothing wrong or keeps trying to justify it, kick him out or walk out.
This morning at 6am i woke up to find husband not in bed. went downstairs, he was in the bathroom. Door locked. as its only me and him in the house we dont usually lock the bathroom door. i asked him to open it and he said 2 mins. something didnt feel right.
i broke the lock on the door and walked in to find him snorting cocaine.
he was so sh*tfaced he gave me no answers. iv now come to work and dont have a clue of what to do when i go home. how do i react. my instincts are tellin me to kick him out to teach him a lesson cos i feel this isnt the first time. i dont know wat else he's been doing behind my back.
i thought i knew him after 10 years but how fooled was i
i thought you found him with another women. Look lady this is not end of the world, it's just drugs - calm down. Sit down and talk, don't involve anyone.
what were you doing?
long pause
i asked something
nothing just cocaine
^^$#&^$#&$&#
&##$$$$*$$$$$$$
crying
i am sorry
noo no $(#(#$#(($$ crying #$#$$#
i will not do it again. . (he is lying)
are you willing to get medical help?
no i am fine .. i will stop .. i love you.. etc..
medical help ? $#($((#($(#($((##
ok oki oki ...
ps. personally done alot of cannabis in college days.. it was fun.. nothing special. i am the perfect husband (wifey said, she is standing behind me :o)