Thanks again matey, not about being a beacon really, just to offer my opinion to my GS brothers and sisters!
Thanks!
Thanks hugsy…I think what you say above summarises it beautifully…Alot of people know that when they do wrong it is a sin, and in a sense thats a poitive thing-the ability to acknowledge that one is in the wrong…however what is not good is trying to justify one’s shortcomings. No one is perfect in this day and age, however it is vital that we at least realise our faults, and only then will we be able to rectify and improve ourselves as decent muslim human beings.
Firstly **Kazi **nice posts bro...telling it how it is...people wont agree with you cos it will take them out of their comfort zone...people thats what your creed says for you to do...so if you want to please Allah then thats how to do it...
Impulse
Your talking as if the guy cheated...they spilt up and he got with another girl...and hes realising that the other girl is nothing compared to his ex and he still has feelings for his ex...when people split up they tend to see other people you know...
Lajawab
Bro stop with your bollywood nonsense...people dont control when they fall in love so yes it would be nice if we only fell in love once but hey that isnt always gonna be the reality is it...
Nia
I agree that we should follow our heads not our hearts but thats like in most things in life...the heart tend to win out...so we could theorise about what people should do...but what they end up doing is completely different...
For instance when i give advice i tend to get it right but in my own issues i very easily get things wrong cos your own feeling s get involved isnt it...matters of the heart are never rational...
Aaj baday romantic mood mein lag rahain hain app, kyaa baat hai?
Anyhow, I do think it’s possible to reconcile and for people to change. I have no experience in this matter, the only reason I’m convinced of the above is that God Almighty makes a provision for this in the Quran, He allows us to remarry someone we’ve divorced in the past and in His Wisdom, He would know best whether it is possible for people to change and thus He mentions it.
So, the period you spend to get to know a potential wife, what do you call that if not dating? Or would you not spend a second with the woman you’re going to marry until after you’re married? If your parents suggest a girl for you and you spend some time with her to figure out if you’re compatible, what do you call that? Dating doesn’t automatically mean SEX, even if that is the norm, it doesn’t mean that that is what dating is. Only people with base mentalities think that.
THere are Christian groups who date, very religious, there’s no hanky panky, they are simply spending time with someone they like and might want to get married to, they call it dating, so I would suggest that you look up the phrase ‘dating’ in the dictionary and then pass judgement.
THere are Christian groups who date, very religious, there's no hanky panky, they are simply spending time with someone they like and might want to get married to, they call it dating, so I would suggest that you look up the phrase 'dating' in the dictionary and then pass judgement.
My dear brother/sister...just to remind u, there is only one version...and if u read my response, i never quoted or suggested it was a verse from the Quran. Don't forget there's alot to be said for the Sunnah of the Prophet (SAW)...The Quran was sent as a way of life, and the Prophet as an example of how to lead our lives...Boys and Girls can only meet with mehrams present...simple as....
Yeah, I’ve read everything you’ve had to say, the point is, your definition of dating is yours, and you hold the right to have an opinion, but the minute you start talking about what is and isn’t permissible in the eyes of God, you cross a line. If you’re going to say dating is haraam, I’d be interested in some Quranic verses, specially about the mehram thing. Here’s a verse from the Quran because I don’t like arguing about religion without Quranic reference:
[2:235] You commit no sin by announcing your engagement to the women, or keeping it secret. GOD knows that you will think about them. Do not MEET them secretly, unless you have something righteous to discuss. Do not consummate the marriage until their interim is fulfilled. You should know that GOD knows your innermost thoughts, and observe Him. You should know that GOD is Forgiver, Clement.
So where it says “Do not meet them secretly, unless you have something righteous to discuss”, God doesn’t say that a “mehram” should be present, does He? If you’re meeting your potential spouse or to someone you’re engaged to, you’re still getting to know them, you’re still in “dating” mode. Secondly, meeting them secretly could also refer to meeting them with no one around in private, that is not the same as meeting someone at the mall and going for coffee, that’s not a secret meeting. Just some points to ponder.
But if God doesn’t prohibit something, the Prophet can’t. If something was prohibited, it would have been prohibited by God. Something that’s prohibited is different from how to DO something which is what people look to hadith and sunnah to, to see as an example, not to see new things introduced in addition to the Quran.
And by the way I was being sarcastic, I know that there is only one version of the Quran, but technically, the Quran HAS changed during its 1400 year old life. Mullahs have led us to believe that the Quran has been IDENTICAL throughout its life, it hasn’t. The oldest known Quran at the Tashkent university has some differences in ‘seen’ and ‘saad’ and other differences.
I would never degrade myself to go further with someone who is already laying it out with another. I choose not to be second best, side dish or whatever you wanna call it.
Sure if you are a weak person who has absolutely no control over her/his emotions and prefers to settle for **** only to purposely fill out the so called 'void' gap within you, then go ahead.
As it is always said.. he is an ex. That in itself should be enuff of a fact to reavaluate your current conflict within. Unless ofcourse you were never serious enuff then and you aren't so serious now, in that case, do whatever you like.
Chinni.. I think your original post has been sidelined so hopefully you'll read this through the cacophany.
As someone who is going through a break up... never mind what type of rel'p you have had or haven't had. When you love someone you love them and for whomever finished it. He didn't want it to work otherwise he would have done everythign to keep it together....
I finished talking to Mr and told him never to talk to me as I needed marriage as a commitment and my emotions were all going into him. There's no other girl he's gone for and at the end of the day he hasn't wanted me back.
Your ex has gone to another girl and as he is now realising how great you were for him he wants you back. I don't really agree in playing games but he needs to be taught a lesson as he has walked all over you.
I don't know how old you are but if he genuinely cares for you and loves you and wants to be with you then maybe the only answer you need to give him is .. "If you want to be with me then you know where I live. Bring your parents to my house and ask for my hand and if not do not ever speak to me again."
Have some self respect for yourself woman. he is a man . he wants his cake and wants to eat it too and if he realises that you will take him back no matter what he does then he will treat you like that for life...
F says he doesn't want marriage and even though everything says to keep him as a friend I know that I would be cheating myself as you always have hope..
F hasn't said he wants me back but I seriously don't want him only running to me when he is lonely or missing my voice. I am worth more than scraps off him..
I know i'm definitely going to say that to him..
