Re: Case Of The Ex..
That's what I do, and I hope others would be able to do the same!
You say "many" social circles, and not ALL. I am specifically refering to those circles where the boys/girls do their dating in secret, without mehrams. Please read my replies, and you shall see I am fully aware of the concept of a mehram, and how meeting potential partners, with mehrams present, is strongly recommended. For me personally dating would be to meet for a drink (non-alcoholic of course), perhaps go shopping, or cinemas etc....ALL with a mehram present! For others dating can be anything from having a kiss and a cuddle, to full on relations. This is why I believe dating (without mehram) of any nature to be wrong. Since little things will lead onto bigger things. It is natural that after repeated "dates" emotions can very often get the better of people, and they want to take it that step further....this is where your above point, of walking away comes in handy!
Again I believe that when we have the purest of intentions, we can be lead astray cos of lust etc. Relations in this context would refer to anything which has been made haraam pre-marriage...eg. holding hands, kissing, to full-on physical initimacy.
I clearly have an ethical code which I follow, and my purpose of writing here was to put my views forward, as is the objective of this forum! Not once have I judged any particular individual for their views, as I have said that right lies with Allah and Allah alone.
On the whole the point I am trying to bring across is that we cannot make halaal, that which has been made haraam by Allah! dating (for want of a better term) without a mehram present, is not compatible with Islam!
Peace.