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http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/Careers/06/03/dreaded.summer/index.html
DO THESE PEOPLE NEED CHILD STORAGE FACILITIES
WHY DO PEOPLE HAVE CHILDREN IF THEY CAN’T TAKE CARE OF THEM
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http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/Careers/06/03/dreaded.summer/index.html
DO THESE PEOPLE NEED CHILD STORAGE FACILITIES
WHY DO PEOPLE HAVE CHILDREN IF THEY CAN’T TAKE CARE OF THEM
Re: Career Minded Parents and Child Storage Facilities
That's why I love the extended family system of our culture. It is wretched to put your child's care in someone else's hands.
Re: Career Minded Parents and Child Storage Facilities
thats assuming the extended family has nothing better to do that to look after kids at that time. i have seen grandmas in my family being shuttled around like baby care facilties by their own kids. after looking after half a dozen of their own kids in their youth, they are destined to change nappies of their grandkids.
as with everything, a healthy balance is what works. nothing wrong with paid day care centers if done right. having kids doesnt mean you have to literally watch over them personally 24/7.
Re: Career Minded Parents and Child Storage Facilities
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You’re a doctor right? You should have studied about child development, a little bit, and I’m sure you’ve seen it at your rotations/residency.
There was a study that they were showing on the news a week or so ago, about how having group activities for babies is very beneficial for the development of their cognitive dev’t and their social skills. And I mean moms bringing their babies together and doing activities with them…kinda like baby school?
Daycare is no problem - they get to meet their fellow baby friends. ![]()
I always used to enjoy pre-school myself, to be quite honest. I didn’t have a hard time adjusting to kindergarten. Although I was violent at that time too, but I think that might be a genetic streak ![]()
Re: Career Minded Parents and Child Storage Facilities
^PCG, since u yourself did not have proper attention as a child, u feel this way and studies show that if u r gonna be a mother, u r likely to do the same with your children.
The most important aspect of parenting is to have an emotional, loving relationship with the child and this needs time.
Mothers who travel 4 hours each day,going to work and back and spending 8 hours a day on work are much less likely to develop emotionsl ties with their children, coz they are stressed and fatigued,again the two characteristics associated with child neglect.
My pediatric collegues tell me that now they often see children, whos parents have little info bout what their children, they do not know if their child has taken their medications or not, if they developed any new symptoms.
Some even do not bother to enter physicians room with the child.
Re: Career Minded Parents and Child Storage Facilities
PCG...a child needs parents pure and simple...whilst a daycare centre will provide social skills...the main thing that a child needs at a young age is parental attention...this is essential to a childs development...please provide me with studies that disprove this...
I dont doubt that you enjoyed pre school...i was at nursery whilst my mother was at work so enjoyed it myself...but it doesnt compare to my mother and i would always be happy when she came to pick me up...my mother provided me with skills and development i needed...pre school supplemented them and gave me an arena where i could utilise my skills...
Parents are neccesary...they provide you with the love, care and guidance you need as a child...nannys, nurseries and extended family cant do this nearly as effectively...
Re: Career Minded Parents and Child Storage Facilities
sometimes a family needs two incomes.
Re: Career Minded Parents and Child Storage Facilities
"sometimes a family needs two incomes."
Very true...so then you do what he have to do...but in a ideal situation you need parenting...obviously not everyone has that luxury...
Re: Career Minded Parents and Child Storage Facilities
PCG, since u yourself did not have proper attention as a child, u feel this way and studies show that if u r gonna be a mother, u r likely to do the same with your children.
The most important aspect of parenting is to have an emotional, loving relationship with the child and this needs time.
Don’t assume I didn’t have proper attention as a child. I totally believe I did, and no, my mom wasn’t even a working woman. They just put me in preschool because they wanted me to learn more since I was already writing and reading before getting into preschool, and KG was one whole year away. They didn’t want my talents to be halted for one year.
Studies show jack crap. I’m in this business of “studies” as well, and for every study that shows one result, there are most likely a few others that show something different. It depends on who was in your population, who you sampled, what method of sampling you used, and what statistical tests you used. FYI, my mom has been a housewife and she got her first job when I was well into high school and driving a car. And I myself would love to be a working mom - I think it can really be a great experience for the child to have an educated mom who is active in the community.
Mothers who travel 4 hours each day,going to work and back and spending 8 hours a day on work are much less likely to develop emotionsl ties with their children, coz they are stressed and fatigued,again the two characteristics associated with child neglect.
Travel 4 hours a day? Are u on crack? Don’t tell me most people do that - most people DO NOT travel that much in a day to and from work combined!
I doubt they’re less likely to develop emotional ties with their kids as long as they do it right. Just like a housewife can do a bad job raising her kids if she’s uneducated and has no idea how the community runs (like many (not all), but many of the new immigrant Pakistani moms you see who have no clue at all how to function in American/British society - I have plenty of stories
), there will be some working women who aren’t managing their time well. Its not because of the work, its because they themselves are DUMB mothers. If they were housewives, they’d screw up too, most likely.
My pediatric collegues tell me that now they often see children, whos parents have little info bout what their children, they do not know if their child has taken their medications or not, if they developed any new symptoms.
I can tell you about housewives that have no clue what is going on with their kids, because they’r busy gossipping on the phone. I teach at the local Islamic school, where most of the moms are newcomers from Pakistan and they have NO clue what is going on in the lives of their kids. I have one student who is totally out of it - she needs not only tutoring, but I think she has a learning disorder. I’ve asked her to take the child to a school counselor and the mom is too busy socializing with the other moms when she picks up the kid. That little girl cries her eyes out when she flunks a simple Islamic school test that asks “What is the Prophet’s name?”
Some even do not bother to enter physicians room with the child.
Depends - some parents like to give their kids privacy. When I reached like 10 or so, I didn’t want my parents in the room because I was all grown up ![]()
BTW, its the physician’s responsibility to make sure the parents know EXACTlY what is going on, since a kid can’t make their own decision legally - so, obviously, you’re manipulating your experiences or what you’ve heard to prove your point. Which…being a doctor yourself…you should know that’s not good science. ![]()
Re: Career Minded Parents and Child Storage Facilities
^ u obviously have wriiten a load of crap, i cam tell house wife can also do this or do that etc., but the available data uniformly suggests that fatigued and stressed mothers are more likely to neglect their children. So are single mothers.
I know ur opinion and u know my mine by now.
If there is any chance of meningful dialogue on this issue u shud present studies, and we can then look into the merit of the studies, if they represent a population that reflects a particular society or if there are any confounding factors.
Re: Career Minded Parents and Child Storage Facilities
Fatigued and stressed mothers. That fatigue and stress does not necessarily come from a job.
In-laws, unattentive husbands, gosipping friends, gossip about self, etc etc do that as well.
Since you brought it up, you're MORE THAN WELCOME to post these studies and links to the articles.
Re: Career Minded Parents and Child Storage Facilities
If you want a career. Don't have kids. Don't get married. Why spoil 2 or more lives to make yourself happy.
Re: Career Minded Parents and Child Storage Facilities
^ I just don't understand you - there is more to a working woman's life than what is on her desk. Most working moms I know - their family comes FIRST. They will leave in the middle of an important meeting or deadlines or whatever if they have to, and the workplace has to accept it.
I was working in a high stress job where they don't even give you good maternity leave...but when the ladies I worked with had sick kids to take care of, they took a good week off to do it, and sure pple complained about the work overload, but no one stopped her or fired these ladies. And I mean its a HIGH STRESS job. Work hours are horrible.
Re: Career Minded Parents and Child Storage Facilities
PCG a career woman and a house wife are not comparable. The matter is not whether she is there when the child is sick and takes a week off. The matter is when the kid scraps his knee and nobody is at home. When a girl falls of her bike and cries for her mommy but the baby sitter is there instead. These things matter as they affect a childs psychology far more than being there when they are sick.
A child that comes home from school to an empty house becuase the mother is working will certainly have issues. Their family comes first in a superficial manner (that is very crude true). A child does not remember if his mother brough home 2000 extra dollars because of her work and bought him a toy. He cares if his mother was there when he needed her while she was at work.
Re: Career Minded Parents and Child Storage Facilities
Um, its not necessary that if a mom works then the child will have to be with a babysitter...I had written a post some time ago explaining how women and men can maneuver their schedules in various different careers such that the kid always has one parent at least at home if not both.
First you go have a kid, and then listen to your wife gripe about how there is nothing to do while baby is off at school. Then we'll talk. Like I said, most people who talk about working women-and stay at home moms haven't even had kids let alone a marriage.
Re: Career Minded Parents and Child Storage Facilities
Yes but they have lived life and seen by example. Experiencing something like kids and marriage only comes with time but that doesn't change the fact that you should learn from others and their right or wrong examples. You can see how it affects kids by having people relate their experiences and seeing how they react yourself.
If experience was such an important matter 99% of the threads on GS should be locked.
Re: Career Minded Parents and Child Storage Facilities
okay then admit that you're talking from the experience of others, and not of yourself and certainly don't make it a blanket statement because you haven't seen all there is to experience. :)
Believe me, if you want to work, you can do it and STILL have kids that are very well raised.
Re: Career Minded Parents and Child Storage Facilities
How does that work? The couple flips a coin, heads you get the 9-5, tails you get grave yard?
And you have?
Re: Career Minded Parents and Child Storage Facilities
9-5 shifts are not the only shifts out there...
You need to look into various careers and see what accomodations they have for young mothers who have children, and also what accomodations they have for working hours.
In the field I'm going into, I know they have accomdations that are quite suitable.
Re: Career Minded Parents and Child Storage Facilities
I have no gripes about working women, hey we need more women in the work force. So career women or super women or whatever they call themselves shouldn't hide behind weak theories or excuses. You want to work, more power to you, just don't try to equate that with better parenting.