Re: Can't leave single mom. What to do?
Awww, I take my words back. He is heartful.
Re: Can't leave single mom. What to do?
good work hun
shoudlnt u have thought about this before u gave ur 'yes' to the rishta.
in ur position, having ur mother stay with u shoudl have been a prerequisite. u need to sort this issue out before u get married otherwise i can almost guarantee u that u will face a lot of problems later on.
Again i think this is right..discuss it now..rather then have problems later on
Re: Can't leave single mom. What to do?
this should have been discussed well before, if you want to live with your mom after marriage, many son in law and in laws would not agree to this, but there are many who would happily agree to this some out of greed, some truely for care reasons.
considering she lives 15mintues away, its not that far even if you have to manage this.
anything you want to do it has to be agreed with in law family, as they are they one who will accuse you and your husband in the future.
moving with mum is not always easy on the hubby's mom.
I know one of my close friend, he got married to first cousin,(khala's daughter). Situation was tricky, both of them has single mums, the girl convinced the husband to move out of his family house to a new house in the same city and asked her mother to join them. and her mother has other 2 sons but she likes the daughter most.
the guys mother, who was widowed at young age, worked hard through life to support my friend and his younger brother. finally when he was able to complete MBA and had good job, married, moved out with mother in law. well this wasnt the normal scenario, as his mother was suffering from cancer and died within 1 year of his moving out.
even all the friends werent happy about it and still accuse him for his wrong actions. seems to be only thing his ear can listen was his wife's voice.
sorry for putting this into this but i guess it was relevant.
the moral of the story is, this touchy area should be discussed before you got even engaged. as your in laws already know about it, they may have thought about this already, now you can discuss with your hubby and more with in laws.
I'm an ONLY child living with a SINGLE mother, about to get married in 3.5 months. I don't know or have ever met anyone else in this situation. I don't want to leave my mom after marriage to move in with my fiance's family, because she will become very lonely. My fiance REALLY WANTS me to move in with his family until we save up enough $ to get our own house. This could take years and she will be alone all that time. She has NO ONE in this world but me. What would you do in this situation? Do you agree that in this case, my mom should be allowed to live with us rather than us living with his parents?
His parents mashallah have three kids (fiance and two younger sisters). He would not be abandoning them if we lived on our own, however, I feel I would be doing that to my mother, who has done everything for me and still gave me so much love, despite the incredibly difficult life she and I have lived.
paradise is at your mom's feet. if she is all alone as you say, then take her with you.
if your fiance's mother was all alone, with no one i bet you anything he would never leave her.
why should it be different for a woman/ wife?
what does your mum say about this topic? what does your fiance say?
I had a long talk with him about this just now. He has agreed to live separately from his parents from the beginning, meaning we will never live with his parents. We will get our own apartment to rent until we save $ for a house (and we will find one close to my mother's apartment). After 6 months to a year, she can come live with us. My mother is ok with this as well, I will visit her as often as I can.
read this post later
ok good for you yaar!
this should have been discussed well before, if you want to live with your mom after marriage, many son in law and in laws would not agree to this, but there are many who would happily agree to this some out of greed, some truely for care reasons.
considering she lives 15mintues away, its not that far even if you have to manage this.
anything you want to do it has to be agreed with in law family, as they are they one who will accuse you and your husband in the future.
moving with mum is not always easy on the hubby's mom.
I know one of my close friend, he got married to first cousin,(khala's daughter). Situation was tricky, both of them has single mums, the girl convinced the husband to move out of his family house to a new house in the same city and asked her mother to join them. and her mother has other 2 sons but she likes the daughter most.
the guys mother, who was widowed at young age, worked hard through life to support my friend and his younger brother. finally when he was able to complete MBA and had good job, married, moved out with mother in law. well this wasnt the normal scenario, as his mother was suffering from cancer and died within 1 year of his moving out.
even all the friends werent happy about it and still accuse him for his wrong actions. seems to be only thing his ear can listen was his wife's voice.
sorry for putting this into this but i guess it was relevant.
the moral of the story is, this touchy area should be discussed before you got even engaged. as your in laws already know about it, they may have thought about this already, now you can discuss with your hubby and more with in laws.
I agree. Shouldn't have gotten engaged and waited until 3 months before the wedding for such an important decision.
Re: Can't leave single mom. What to do?
Thanks for your concern guys. I posted here because I wanted to know whether or not I was being unreasonable. You guys made me realize that I did have legitimate concerns and that I had a right to ask for what I was asking for.
Anyhoo, this issue has been worked out. Mods can close this thread if you wish to do so. :)