Housewife........that was IMPRESSIVE! You worded that so simply and so perfectly.
Thank you.
Funky_Chicken, go to your Khala and just witness what cancer does to a person. I think this is a life changing experience for one who watches. After she dies, you will forgive her for sure.
I have seen people break down and forgive even their worst enemies.
mirch sometime its not the pain, and sometimes they cant give anything for the pain. like for my brother who had cancer (tumor)block his intestines so nothing would go down. they had to put an NG tube down his nose, thrg his throat...to the intestine to clean it out...and all they could give him were ice cube to chew. it was so painful to watch him go thorough that painful process. and had to keep the tube for days...also painful but nothing was given for the pain.
Yes, sadly sedation is not usually given while having an NG tube, endoscopy etc. I wish they could do something to help patients in this cases.
I am so sorry to hear about this though.
Housewife - you so need to go back into your medical career! :p
Thank you for that information. That was powerful stuff which you wrote and it has hit hard! Lol! I saw my Uncle die of cancer and I was with him until he passed away. Oh my gwad, he went into a trance as well where his eyes were just focusing on one spot. Then the Doctor told us this was a sign that his end was coming. It was so difficult for us to accept this even though we knew he was going. He was on constant morphine but it didn't stop all the discomfort he was having. May Allah Ta'lah swt give him a place in Jannat, Inshallah as he was a great, caring Muslim.
This is a great thread, funky_chicken. Glad it was opened because maybe now it can help people realise that we really should live each day as if it were out last. We should try to make life easier for ourselves and others and avoid all these fights and aggression. We should learn to forgive and deal with our problems in a calmer way. Hope your Khala has her family with her when her time comes. What are your feelings now?
Re: cancer stricken family member
cancer is a very hard thing to deal with..... there are some people that do survive it depending on what stage they are at.... even that is really hard.... being a cancer survivor.... knowing that your immune system is weak and due to that your are prone to other diseases and the chance of your cancer comming back high.... spend time with your aunt and do what you can for her, regardless of what you feel. If u dont chances are you will regret it later on in life.
Re: cancer stricken family member
i agree with the rest of the posts. you should forgive her and call even if its just once to say hi. that doesnt mean u forget what she or the other relatives did.
Yes, sadly sedation is not usually given while having an NG tube, endoscopy etc.
Sedation is always given during endoscopy.
Okay let me explain this from a Doctor’s view:
We would make a pain control plan for each patient, but naturally every human is different and reacts differently to cancer.
Mostly, we would choose Morphine to moderate cancer esp in stage 4. (End-stage cancers.) But some patients do not tolerate morphine as they suffer severe adverse side effects, although this is rare. Sometimes some patients refuse it due to their beliefs. If allergic, we try Demerol, katamine, fentanyl etc. There are many other alternative meds.
Sadly in stage 4 cancer the realism is the patient is dying. It is an immune system disease and there will be a point where you won’t be able to fight it anymore. The body will naturally prepare for the final breakdown and these stages are tough on all cancer patients. No medicine can prevent your body from preparing its breakdown and dying as there is no cure for cancer yet.
There is hell lot of difference between stage 4 cancer and terminal cancer. A stage 4 cancer patient may be totally pain free, walking about without anyone noticing any thing worng. In certain cases stage 4 cancer is curable.
Re: cancer stricken family member
really?
interesting
can u explain a little bit more wats the difference between stage 4 and terminal cancer?
Re: cancer stricken family member
Althoguh all cancers are staged differently, that is cancer of lung will be staged different from cancer of stomach for example but in general stage 4 cancer is one which has "seeded" or metastacized to a location in body far from teh origin of cancer. If such matastasis is only in one place, and both the metastasis and primary tumour can be removed surgically, the person has a chance of cure, ofcourse usually he/she will also receive chemotherapy.
Terminal cancer is the one where there is no hope of any form of treatment to work.
So stage 4 patients can be any where from a curable cancer to terminal cancer.
Re: cancer stricken family member
aahhh i see.
may allah keep us safe :(
Re: cancer stricken family member
Stage 4 cancer or terminal cancer - forgive your Khala! :)
Re: cancer stricken family member
My wonderful nani died of cancer...it ate her up. I still cannot seem to get over that...she was so small and frail when she died and you could tell she was sick of fighting it. It doesnt even seem like she is gone sometimes...just far away. Anyway, she wanted to give up but she couldnt because her children were at odds with each other. At the time, all of her kids put their differences behind them and came together. No matter what the problem was, they hugged in front of her and said sorry. It gave her soooooo much sukoon and then she started to slip away.
Funky_chicken...cancer is a horrible. Your cousins are about to lose their mother...they're not really thinking of your differences with them. Go to them, be there for them, see if you can help out in any way and do your part. Yes, you have a part to play now. You know your khala has a disease that will take her life in 4 weeks time, you now have a role to play and have a reponsibility towards her. If your mother can move past this, so can you.
Re: cancer stricken family member
B - sorry to hear about your Nani. May Allah Ta'lah swt give her place in Jannat, Inshallah. That was nice to hear that her kids came together for her sake.
I still cannot get over my Uncle's cancer. I remember it everyday like it was yesterday. But I just can't imagine losing my Mum. God forbid. That would be the worst possible feeling in the world. FC's cousins have their Mum for just 4 weeks! Imagine that?! What must they be going through? What an awful feeling. They will need a lot of support.
FC - what cancer does your Khala have if you don't mind me asking? Have you been to seen her since opening this thread or has your Mum?
Hope you guys can come together, Inshallah. :)
There is hell lot of difference between stage 4 cancer and terminal cancer. A stage 4 cancer patient may be totally pain free, walking about without anyone noticing any thing worng. In certain cases stage 4 cancer is curable.
My Uncle was laughing and enjoying life while suffering from stage 4 cancer. But he didn't know at that point that he had cancer! Then few days after he had a fever and had a blood test. Then we found out he had cancer...and so late! The Docs were shocked that he was still walking! He died just 2 weeks after that.
What stage 4 cancers are curable?
Re: cancer stricken family member
Everyone is different, everyone’s cancer is different, everyone’s body is different and everyone’s bodies reaction to cancer fighting drugs is different. Sometimes stage 4 cancer is curable through different means like chemotherapy and radiation therapy.
https://www.cancercompass.com/message-board/message/single,10334,7.htm
Re: cancer stricken family member
thankyou guys for all responses. xxxxx
well she has cancer in her stomach and we've been told by her daughter that she has about 6 or 7 tumours. i am slowly strarting to realise and feel sorry for her kids and ofcourse i will be there for them just like i was when my nani passed away.
she lives in east london and we are in bradford but we might go down to see her on a weekend.
it cant be easy on her or her kids. my sis has put everythin aside aswell and is always finding out on the phone how she is.
i think the thing i'm scared of is having to go through all this again. you know the whole passing of a family member. when my nani passed away 3 yrs ago it was the most heartrbreaking ever. it was like my heart had been ripped out.
being a child and living in a protected environment where the only thing you would worry about is what cartoons to watch, all of a sudden u've grown up and facing tragedies and heartbreak but i guess it is these expereinces that make you stronger and experience life.
I think you are not a doctor but an expert at googling like me. I do googling for living so I know all about it.
See the response above by Iconoclast. He seems to be a real doctor. Because his answer is concise and to the point . You are beating about the bush. and in a very non professional way.
A doctor does not have time to go to the lengths to post long advice . If I google all your replies I am sure I can identify the source so don’t temp me please. As I said I do googling for living.
Re: cancer stricken family member
^ Mirch can I have you job please? You really have the best job in the world! Hehe! :)
FC - Glad to hear you guys will be going down to see her on weekend. Hope they welcome you with open arms, Inshallah.
Last night i was thinking and it reminded me of a similar situation....
... My family has been friends with this other family for over 19 years.... however their mom started being really disrespectful to my mom for unknown reasons... she would call my mom and cuss her out and was very rude to her.... she said some really digusting things.. and i hated her for that.... a few years later she got really really sick... and was on her deathbed.... im not sure what she had.... i think she had multiple problems.... but was basicly on life support... her daugther who is a good friend of mine called crying sayin that she wasnt gonna make it.... I left work (got in trouble for doing so) and rushed to the hospital.... she was literally on her death bed.... when i saw her i had to hold in tears forgetting what she had done to my mom.... why... because i love my mom a lot.... and after all she is someones mother and im sure they love her and need her regardless of her flaws.... i cant imagine life without my mother... im sure no one else can.... she was sooo out of it... her eyes were open but u know she couldnt see anything.... doctors said she could hear tho... the day after she got better like nothing was wrong... however that lasted only for a day.... and after that she got really sick again and died a few days later....
...im happy that I was able to be there im sure she sensed my presence and im sure she was sorry for what she had done.... and i hope my presence showed her that i had forgiven what she had done.... i will never forget what she has done.... but i have learned to forgive