Re: Can your in-laws actually be like your real parents?
If you think that the Quran says that you must live with your husband's family, then I strongly urge you to read it again and consult some reliable scholars. The Quran says that we must care for our parents and look after them. There are clear guidelines for doing so. A wife has NO repsonsibilities to her husband's parents, aside from the respect they are due as her elders. Anything she does is sadaqa. In fact, she is responsible for helping her siblings to provide the necessary care for her own parents. This is her fardh. The system that is most prevalent in Pakistan again is left over from Hindu culture.
Quran doesnt necessairly state each and everything that is to be done. Quran is a book of guidance and you can get help from it for any matter in life. But it doesnt have an direct answer for all questions but it gives you logic and thats what you drive your information from. Your parents take care of you, sacrific so much for you and you think in the end when they are in need of you, you turn your backs against them?. If a girl is married and her parents need her help she is also bound to help them out too. Even if they are not in need of help, she is bound to take care of them as much as possible but her responsiblity towards her in-laws is no less.
And again, your situation is not the situation i am talking about amana. If your in-laws treat you ill and want you to be their maid, than you have every right to treat them back like that.
I was talking about those girls who don't even give their in-laws a chance to show that they are good people and easy to live with. But these girls have preconcieved ideas about how ill they will be treated or they think even if they are going to be treated well they still need their what they call is independence.
Re: Can your in-laws actually be like your real parents?
Oh my God, is that another BLAH BLAH BLAH I read here? Seems to be unending.
P.S- You wanted me to read the Quran to prove my point so now that I have, TAKE THAT and shoooo out of here.
Re: Can your in-laws actually be like your real parents?
I agree that all girls should go into marriage treating their in-laws with respect, regardless of how the girls are treated by their in-laws, if for no other reason than the fact that they are our elders. We are bound to help them, but we are not bound to LIVE in the same house as them. Obviously if they are in clear need of physical care then we mut provide it.
You stated in your earlier post that the Quran says we have to live with our in-laws, but it doesn't, and I wanted to correct that misconception. Scholars have ruled consistently that a girl does not have the same responsibility towards her in-laws that she has towards her parents, but common sense would dictate that she respect them and provide whatever level of care that they need.
We need to move beyond this mentality of caring for parents means living in the same home with them. This is not and has never been the case. My situation is different, and I would certainly never turn my in-laws out if they genuinely needed my care, but I will never again live with them full time while they are able bodied. As someone else mentioned you can easily spend time with your parents, and they can see their grandchildren, while living in another house, and even while living in another state.
Islam has outlined a series of rights and obligations that EVERYONE has over one another. /When a girl requests her independence, she is not necessarily being badtameez, she is simply requesting that her husband fulfill the right that Allah (swt) has given her for separate accomodation. This should be discussed BEFORE marriage, before problems arise.
Re: Can your in-laws actually be like your real parents?
Okay so the people that are saying parents who don't prepare their daughters for "real life" are you seriously living in this century? So its okay to spoil guys, but girls are meant for cooking cleaning and picking out lice? Women who cant cook are demented little apes right, we have no right to be women cause we cant cook.
I'd rather be an ape booyahaaha
Btw, does she get more points for knowing how to make a round paraatha? Is she more of a woman then? Cause if she makes a square paraatha then shes half woman
Re: Can your in-laws actually be like your real parents?
Quran doesnt necessairly state each and everything that is to be done. Quran is a book of guidance and you can get help from it for any matter in life. But it doesnt have an direct answer for all questions but it gives you logic and thats what you drive your information from. Your parents take care of you, sacrific so much for you and you think in the end when they are in need of you, you turn your backs against them?. If a girl is married and her parents need her help she is also bound to help them out too. Even if they are not in need of help, she is bound to take care of them as much as possible but her responsiblity towards her in-laws is no less.
And again, your situation is not the situation i am talking about amana. If your in-laws treat you ill and want you to be their maid, than you have every right to treat them back like that.
I was talking about those girls who don't even give their in-laws a chance to show that they are good people and easy to live with. But these girls have preconcieved ideas about how ill they will be treated or they think even if they are going to be treated well they still need their what they call is independence.
Actually Amana is right. A daughter in-law has no such responsibilities towards her in-laws. If she chooses to do anything for them, it is nice of her but you certainly can't hold it against her if she doesn't.
Re: Can your in-laws actually be like your real parents?
^ Amana and Terrible guy, or anyone else for that matter, can you guys provide references for this? I agree but i dont have sources or references to prove it.
Re: Can your in-laws actually be like your real parents?
we should treat ALL parents like we would expect our own to be treated, regardless if some is nasty or mistreats you, my mum says we need to protray deceny and respect regardless, then no one can say, 'us ki beti ki zabaan asi hai etc etc'.........
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