^ I am not crying over anything.. i am just saying that if you find one bad fish doesn't mean the whole pond is full of them. I know many decent girls and guys who have never attempted to have sex, are GOD fearing and know their boundaries.
Anyways, the topic here is asking us to "Justify" if it is ok to have sex before rukhsati. There are two aspects of it, (mentioned before in this thread) Islam and culture.. now Islam is something that they have to follow.
But sex is not all that marriage is done for. They can both wait for the "flower bed" and make it a memorable night.. its all personal choice from here on. Islam allows them to have sex and if they choose to wait nothing wrong Islamically or even if they choose to have sex right now then nothing wrong :)
All of us here can give them as many sugguestions as can.. we can post our personal opinions but what really matters is that SEX after NIKAH does NOT need any JUSTIFICATION!!!!!!
Good. Now we can talk, so rukhusti is a indian culture thing, my take is that once the nikah is done kukri is halal and the man can devour. Now whether he chooses to wait and let it get stale is entirley upto him. I would consider such a man a friggin looser.
^^ I dont think so, woman is mans property according to culture and religion (even christianity and judaism). So whatever man wants. I forget the quranic verse but it basically says to go put your pp's together and have a blast, explore each other. etc etc. Just stops short of a live demo. I think I should dig that up and post it as one of my favorite ayaths in the religion section.
sure i wanna see which verse you are talking about.. Islam gives Woman and Man same rights.. they are both equal and actually Islam did finish the curelty of Jahils of Arab who used to trade wives and kill young girls..
exactly! actually for me its religious, since i dont really care for cultural allowance. But thats the whole point of it, getting to know each other better, planning your future, going out without the guilt of doing something wrong and etc. Oh and I think marriage is so much more than responsiblities, thats just part of it.
if she plans to go for it she should definitely ask some adult (mom) close to her and make them aware in case the guy messes up later. i know it sucks to tell mama about it but it might give your friend a better idea to look at how her mom takes it....if her mom sounds horrified....then this dictates how everyone else is going to think if the guy refuses and they find out they did it.....
bottom line....i think she should make him wait because he should respect the cultural values held by her and her family
They are married so it is up to them what they do...Islam permits them to have sex so she can...if she isnt comfortable with the idea because of her family or just uncomfortable generally then she should ask her husband to wait...however horny her husband is, im sure he can be patient so just like a married girl should communicate and tell your husbabd what your fears are....hes your husband he should understand and hopefully he'll deal with it correctly...
And as for the fool who said Allah said that a womans body is for the man...yes and it applies to the women to...we both have ownership of each other when we get married...but that doesnt give either a right to abuse that right...islam fails because people like you selectively choose what part of verses they want to follow...islam made the womens body yours so i guess that allows you to rape a woman against her will i suppose...
Anyway sorry about my rant...i talk too much...do whatever you feel comfortable with...dont feel compelled to do anything...if hes a good man...his priority will be your comfort and happiness and he will appreciate the fact that you communicated your concerns...trust me us men get pissed off that nothing ever bothers you girls but 6 months down the line we start to here what your dislikes are lol:) ...good luck
Are you saying, it happened because religion forced it?
Are you saying, it was a cultural issue?
Are you saying, she should have come after telling her parents?
Are you saying, sex without commitment is not fun?
Are you saying, women are as capable of r@pe as men?
I agree with shweetdreams - As disgusting as it sounds, close family members should be taken into confidence. I'm sure if the boy's daddy and mummy find out that he's looking for some nooky before properly establishing the other more important aspects of a marital relationships, like ... erm... providing a shelter over his beloved's head ... then he might not be so keen on asking his wife to "be ready".
Afterall, if its halaal and there is nothing wrong with it and there are no potential conflicts that could arise down the road...then the parents wont have a problem with it...right?
