Hello everyone,
I’m new here so please be nice and reply (‘__’).
I’ve been engaged for about a year now. My mother-in-law and I get along veryyy well. I love the way she is and she feels the same way about me. She talks to me about many issues when she’s concerned and listens to my advice. I love joking around with her and teasing her for fun sometimes. At times, when she calls me, her and I end up talking for an hour and a half and sometimes 2 hours. My family teases me all the time and they think this bond is only temporary and will not stay the same after marriage. Because according to them this mother-in-law daughter-in-law bond changes once the marriage takes place. But I believe it’s totally up to the girl to keep that bond and of course nothing is perfect but it could stay the same.
How is your relationship with your mother-in-law? Please share ur experiences and thoughts about this relationship staying the same or changing after marriage.
I have a good relationship. She is very caring toward me, looks after my needs, and even if she wants to offer me advice, she does so without judgment. She is very patient, kind, and considerate. She usually tells me if she needs my help with anything, and sometimes I think she should be more explicit and not SO considerate.
You can definitely have a friendly and close relationship with your MIL. One DIL-MIL pair I know of even share bedroom info!!
Sahar02 thanks for replying....
"One DIL-MIL pair I know of even share bedroom info!!!" Oh God I dont think I could ever do that but then again it depends on how open and comfortable you are sharing your bedroom life with others.
of course you can be a very good friend with your Mother in Law. Both have to be giving and caring for each other, regardless of how the Son an Husband is the connector for the relationship.
Treatment as daughter and as Mom, as closely as possible, is the way to be.
I feel it must be doable.
i have a very close relationship with my mom in law and its true.. it depends on how open and comfortable ure relationship is with ure MIL to be able to discuss issues with her. even bedroom ones.. i dont find it eww at all because i am blessed to have that level of friendship with my own MIL... as long as things are discussed maturely and responsible in a decent manner.. nothing has to be ewww.
You know, there is a tendency toward paranoia and suspicion that I've noticed amongst many of us Pakistani women. We over-complicate things. And sometimes it's legitimate and sometimes it's not. But there's no reason to assume that your relationship with your MIL will get bad, just because a few narrow-minded, jealous, or pessimistic folks say it will. They may put in seeds of doubt (even if they don't have malicious intent) that can ruin a relationship for no reason. So just nod and smile, and remember that nothing can ruin the relationship unless you and your MIL let it.
You know, there is a tendency toward paranoia and suspicion that I've noticed amongst many of us Pakistani women. We over-complicate things. And sometimes it's legitimate and sometimes it's not. But there's no reason to assume that your relationship with your MIL will get bad, just because a few narrow-minded, jealous, or pessimistic folks say it will. They may put in seeds of doubt (even if they don't have malicious intent) that can ruin a relationship for no reason. So just nod and smile, and remember that nothing can ruin the relationship unless you and your MIL let it.
thanks everyone.....well hopefully it stays the same but I've seen many examples where they have a good relationship at first but then it gets ruined after marriage. In some cases people around us can be the reason for that to happen. For example: if someone keeps telling you constantly tht ur bond with ur MIL will not stay the same later our conscious might start to believe that and evetually our actions can make that come true. So I totally agree with Sahar...u gotta be smart by not paying attention to what others say.
hmmm in a good way or a bad way....if u already have a good bond marriage should strengthen it...that would require a lot of optimism from both sides
it shifts both ways .
i have seen it with my own eyes . once you get married ure MIL may help you in many ways and she may also negate many of ure ideas.
yes it requires alot of optimism from both sides also alot of patience :)
