Can the husband demand

Lifestyle Relationships
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  1. his wife to dress more liberally, something she may not be comfortable with?

  2. to not observe pardah?

You can talk in the light of what the religion says in this regard and/or just share your personal views. And if you were faced with such a situation what would you do and why.

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Re: Can the husband demand

Religiously speaking am sure it's a no (in terms of hijab anyway, not sure what the ruling would be if he wanted her to switch from a burqa to just a jilbaab or hijab with long skirt + long loose top).. I don't think it's fair for either spouse to expect their other half to dress in a way that makes them uncomfortable. Really if a guy or girl wanted a more liberal (or strict) partner they should have picked someone like that to start with imo :(

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Re: Can the husband demand

I don't think that a husband can demand either of the two. It would take a real bad husband to force his wife to do something she's not comfortable with. And for the wife, I think if the husband demands something that conflicts with her religious views, then she has the right to take a stand and refuse. If I'm not mistaken, in Islam you can even stand up to your parents if they force you to do something that you feel is unislamic (in a respectful way of course.).

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Re: Can the husband demand

husband ? Demand?..he can’t demand anything :smilestar: :khumar:

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Re: Can the husband demand

Good boy :lb:. Aap na karna :chilly:.

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Re: Can the husband demand

Ofcourse she has the right to refuse but how many would do that? that's the question nah.

Yup, I agree.

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Re: Can the husband demand

Any woman with self respect would refuse. The shareef gharelu yes girl who calls her husband 'aap' and doesn't refer to him by name would probably do it.

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Re: Can the husband demand

I also feel that the women shouldnt give in because if its against her ethics/morals or crossing her boundary of comfort, she shouldnt be compelled to do it. Also such demands won't stop to this level only and thus creating more havoc for the women. However its alot easier said than done. Shareef gharelu ladkis do have "brain" and "self respect" also. Even if they give in, its for a bigger purpose i suppose. You may agree with them or not but every individual has the right to weigh their priorities so you can't really judge them based on it.

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Re: Can the husband demand

Demand is a word that shouldn't be part of any marriage. Husband or the wife should not demand anything of their partners. Both should fulfill their duties. If there is something he/she wants they should discuss it with the spouse. Give them the reasons and try to explain why it is important to them. Give the spouse enough time to understand that and implement it. Of course not everything should/can be implemented such as those that go against religious beliefs.

As far as your question, like Deeba said if someone wants a liberal spouse they should've married one that was liberal to start off. I personally would not dress liberally even if my husband, mother, father or whom ever asked because I dress modestly due to my religious beliefs. If this were to happen to me I would sit down and explain to my husband why dressing modestly is important for me.

ps I'm not married so this is hypothetically speaking BUT I can assure you despite the respect I would have for my husband I would not dress liberally outside the house.

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Re: Can the husband demand

It would be very weird if my husband asked me to dress more liberally...strange.

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Re: Can the husband demand

Reha, you'd be surprised. I know of one such person who doesn't want his wife to wear hijab/dubatta and doesn't like it when she prays/fasts.

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Re: Can the husband demand

I found it hard to believe too but it does happen in real unfortunately :(.

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Re: Can the husband demand

The husband can demand whatever he wants till he's blue in the face. Doesn't mean you give it to him.

This is a marriage shaking issue and something which needs understanding and careful education of the husband of why modesty and hijaab in general is important..

Also important in picking a spouse, if the guy socalises with a lot of ****** aesha style people then he might like the idea of a modest wife but not the actual realities and practicalities, also parents push their sons into marrying shereef lardkia when the sons are nothing like that, so need to observe the guy really carefully and try and trip him up with some questions..

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Re: Can the husband demand

I am who i am...i expect people to take me as who i am...if they dont like it they know what they can do :)

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Re: Can the husband demand

Demand haha

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Re: Can the husband demand

Purdah....is done for Allah, right? And what you do for Allah should come from the heart....because you truly believe in it....as that is the essence of faith. If you are doing something because you are forced to.....then it will feel like a burden.....your heart won't be into it..........it won't be sincere......and I don't think that's the kind of faith Allah wants us to have in Him. I wonder if there's even reward in that. Would the forcer get reward? I dunno. So, to answer the question...I don't believe that a husband should demand that his wife observe purdah.

There's a difference between demanding and discussing issues calmly. Both partners should be aware of the consequences of HOW they approach issues with one another.

Also, compromise is necessary. Together they can reach a middle ground. Perhaps a compromise on some articles of clothing....or what to wear inside or outside of the house, etc.

And....these things need to be discussed when you're getting to know someone during the rishta process. For example, if you want a wife who does hijab.......then don't marry a girl who is not a hijabi and has no inclination toward wearing hijab and dresses in a way that you don't feel comfortable with. I understand that issues can crop up after marriage as well.....but if you know that there are some qualities that are a deal-breaker for you and that you will not compromise on....then find someone who meets your needs from the get-go.

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Re: Can the husband demand

uhh I think you've got it the other way round. The husband is forcing her to be more liberal. The second part of your post still applies :)

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Re: Can the husband demand

^ Oh...oohps. I misread, thanks.

Even in that case......it's wrong for him to demand. They need to talk it out...and reach some middle ground.

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Re: Can the husband demand

If I was a woman I’d threaten to gut him and then fillet him for making such a stupid demand… If he were to demand the opposite then he would be a man to admire.

As it is thank Allah i’m a Man and I would be damned before I made such a request to any person… and particulalrly my own dearest Wife:wub:… or at least not in Public. :wink:

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Re: Can the husband demand

i think i read somewhere that allah said that husband can enforce wife to wear purdah.....he cant even hit her to some degree...somehow its explained how, but without intending to hurt her or something, and somewhere god said that if doing ibadat was allowed to another one apart from allah, he would ask wives to bow down to their husbands..something ive read along these lines..someone can explain it better if they know...