Can the husband demand

Re: Can the husband demand

my husband didnt demand, he asked nicely i prefer if you would dress more modestly....as in duppata on the head because this is what he was used to...however i didnt....he was upset, because he said he does everything for me and i cant even do this tiny thing, however he got over it quckly and we are fine, this was at the start of our marriage.....we are more like each other, before we would think everything we ask of each other is a battle....to be fought...not anymore.personally i think if a woman demanded her husband be home on time.....would we think thats ok? or if she demanded her wear somethin in particular....and if he didnt, wouldnt we get upset?

Re: Can the husband demand

That is sort of like the hindu tradition where wives worship husbands, doesn't sound right to me. As for forcing purdah, again I think redvelvet wrote a good post on that. I think it is better if the husband who wishes his wife to do hijab simply tells her what he desires, and tries to convert her in an educational manner, outlining the benefits and reward of hijab. That way when she does it, it will be of her own accord. No wife would refuse a husband like that, even if she did, she would eventually come around if she's living with a pious husband,

Re: Can the husband demand

its NOT a hindu tradition, and we are not bowing down to hubbies, god said if,...there were to bow down to anyone in this world...it wouldnt be our parents it would be a husband....

Re: Can the husband demand

id prefer my husband to try to make me wear hijab as opposed to dressing more liberally.....

Re: Can the husband demand

One word "Demand" and look what happens.

Re: Can the husband demand

Again I find that hard to believe, in the Quran, obedience to parents is mentioned countless times next to worshipping Allah. I'm sure that is higher on the list of priorities.

Re: Can the husband demand

Just wanted to know,for discussion's sake, what sort of 'try' would you accept?? i mean what constitues a proper 'try to make wear hijab'?? what steps/actions of his will be acceptable to you?

Re: Can the husband demand

husband can only demand jaan ki aaman and nothing else.

PS:
NO. husband can not demand liberal dressing or conservative dressing. Husband can "suggest" or tell what he likes or dislikes

Re: Can the husband demand

My fiance wants me to dress more conservative... we fought wars about the topic.. now I go along with it to make him happy. If I dont, he just has this attitude and I dont wanna deal with it. Behind his back I sometimes dress the way I want as he is just soo not understanding about wht makes me feel good and wht makes me look wierd.

Re: Can the husband demand

Sorry but that is just so sad.

Re: Can the husband demand

:(
i knowww....
i wish he would just not do tht.. other than tht he is just perfect

Re: Can the husband demand

If husband can't demand anything then wife can't demand anything either. Going by this logic, no one can demand anything of anyone ever. Do we realize how debilitating an effect this can have on a society? The buck doesn't stop nowhere and on no one.

Interestingly, our boss at the workplace can demand whatever he wants from us, and we happily oblige because the bacon is at stake. We change our dressing habits, our eating habits, our social habits, our activities, everything for him yet are not willing to give an inch of a leeway to people whom we expect to be our rocks through thick and thin.

Re: Can the husband demand

Sorry for being nosy,but what will you do when you are married?..will you dress as he wishes?..

I have always been rather a boring dresser...so Mr CO has been happy :D.I can't even imagine him asking me to dress more liberally...but even if he did,I doubt I could do it.

Re: Can the husband demand

What kind of **** husband would want to show his wife to people like that? What a loser.

Don't marry a person like that, will lead you straight to Jahanum. If you already are, tell him to F off and don't mess up your faith. If he still forces you, get a divorce.

Remember, the life of this world is nothing but a test.

Re: Can the husband demand

well then i would dress the way he likes... since he buys me an outfit for a outfit tht he doesnt like me wearing.. My rule is- u dont like wht i wear then buy me something 2 replace it.
So most of the time he ends up buying me something equally dressy and liberal.. soo it all works out in the end
But not sure wht i will do after wedding.. perhaps i m hoping either 1 of us will change a lil bit to fix the problem.

Re: Can the husband demand

The exact ayat of the Quran is:
*As to those women on whose part you see ill conduct,

admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their

beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); but if they return

to obedience, seek not against them means (of

annoyance). Surely, God is Ever Most High, Most Great.

[al-Nisaa’ 4:34] *

and the bowing before husband Hadith you are talking

about is:
*Abu Hurayra reported that the Prophet, may Allah

bless him and grant him peace, said, "If I were to

command anyone to prostrate to anyone else, I would have

commanded women to prostrate to their husbands."

[at-Tirmidhi]*

The Hadith emphasizes on the importance of the worship

to the oneness to Allah. Mankind and Jinn have not been

created but to worship Allah. As Muslims we believe that

there is no one worthy of worship except Allah, so we

kneel, bow or prostrate to no one but the one Allah as

that is only His right. This right has not been given to

anyone else, not even to the men. And in the Hadith, the

prophet states that if he were to command anyone

to prostrate to anyone, it would be a women to her

husband. But the fact is, he didn't as this right only

belongs to Allah alone.

coming back to the topic...
I know a friend of mine...whose husband asked her to

take of her hijab when his friends come over 'as do his

friend's wives'. However she didnt want to take off her

hijab and explained it calmly that she is very upset by

his request and that she would not be taking her hijab

off...while explaining the reason. The husband did get

upset....but eventually gave way.

Fights have to be avoided...no tempers

shooting...instead logic and calm reasoning, together

with Dua for the husband for Allah to guide him to the

straight path...

If my husband demanded something like that...first of

all....i can't even imagine that...and second...i'd be

very very upset...and i'd stick by my faith iA!

Re: Can the husband demand

Aha...now there's a solution..:D..good idea

Re: Can the husband demand

:khumar: