Dear Homesick,
Have you visited Pakistan lately? Of if you live there, have you stepped past your chaukhat?
Yes, parents share pictures of their daughters to random guys online. They go on the internet to find their rishtas or go to those Rishta aunties. Don’t take my word for it. Go to sAsian Muslim Matrimonial marriage Service agency UK, get yourself an id and please be this poor girl’s rishta guide.
Here’s my old fashioned Pakistani view of point. Absolutely inappropriate (1) pre-marital sex (2) all forms of pre-marital sex (please use your imagination).
Sending a picture of herself where she looks attractive to a guy that sounds like a potential life long mate, yes…why not? The guy aint gonna marry her without seeing her. Good Ole days of the 60’s are gone.
Don't you dare judge me. Who are you to judge me? You are not the almighty.
For your info, my parents know I am looking for a spouse.
You expect someone to talk to me without looking at my picture? That is the most funniest thing I've ever heard. Grow up. If you met someone at work/school/Uni or via your parents, Do you not know what they look like? Or do you look at their backside whilst speaking to them? Also, these websites are used by loads of parents looking for their son/daughter too.
He saw one pic of my head. Not a picture of me in a bikini. As soon as he saw it, I stopped his access. So he actually doesn't own my picture. But obviously, you had to presume that he does.
Exchanging numbers and talking? Omg the horror. Am I supposed to communicate to him via signals and vibes? How are you going to communicate with your future spouse? Sign language?
You future wife is going to be so lucky with your mentality. Good luck, you sound like such a good catch :)
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Call me old fashioned. Maybe I missed the revoulation that made it normal for a self respcting pakistani girl to exchange pics and phone with random guy online. I missed the transformation that made that our norm. Maybe I am old fashioned (, still in my 20s) or maybe this fourm's norm is too modern or " progressive" if that's the word u prefer. I doubt such is the cultural norm in pakistan regardless of social status. A
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Some people think it is their islamic duty to tell others that they are off the straight and narrow. Yes, we all have a responsibility to help each other to enjoin the good and forbid the evil.
At each step of the way we need to remind ourselves of our intention to do what is in the best interest of all involved lest we sin against our own souls by using wrong tactics to get the point across, jump to accusatory conclusions, hurt the other persons feelings, among other things...
Islam is based on adaab. Let us not forget ours just because we are anonymous.
One thing that concerns me is that he now has your number and hasn't bothered to get further with it. As harsh as it sounds, it could have just been someone playing joke with a fake profile. Don't get too upset about it :)
One thing that concerns me is that he now has your number and hasn't bothered to get further with it. As harsh as it sounds, it could have just been someone playing joke with a fake profile. Don't get too upset about it :)
I am over it and you are probably right. I was actually quite surprised that this thread is still going. It was my first time on something like that. Its only a number, he can't do much with a number (I don't think). I haven't had any prank calls or anything like that so not too worried.
I have stopped going on the site. Got bored quite quick :)
I m not judging you just advising you and maybe making you realize things you might not have realized yourself. Maybe you don't know about the world or the type of people that might be out there. Maybe you are a bit naive, so I had to tell you like it is. You didn't clarify that you hand't sent him the picture, because god forbid the kind of things can be done to a picture with photo-shop. I didn't want to hurt your feelings, but I had to be a little harsh to make you understand that not everyone out there is nice or has good intentions. So please put a lot of value to who gets see your picture or who gets to see you or talk to you and restrict it and preserve it for certain people, not just anyone. And Peony, again families do share pictures with potential matches, but that usually requires a few steps and niggles. Parents or brothers of girls don't just hand out pics on request.
Picture is usually a relatively later step in the process, after the guy's family and reputation have been examined. Pics are handed out freely because usually the rishata initiation happens between families that know or are familiar with each other to begin with,. If not, there is usually a middle man who knows both families and can attest for them. Trust me I have cousins and sisters who I have seen get married so I know the process and my family varies from conservative to more liberal. I don't like the idea of some guy being able to look at my sister's pic whenever he wants, so I spoke to you from that point of view. Anyway that was from my point of view and experience. Like I said,UMRICA is a free country and people are free to do what they want, and many do just that.