Salam everyone
A friend of mine who is 13-14 years old has a brother who is an active member Of HiZb Tahrir. This guy got married to someone who also belives v strongly in the Hizb ideology. Now something happened yesterday to which i really got verY mad. My friend went home where only his brothers wife was at home. She simply REFUSED to be in the HousE with him , saying " we cant be under one roof and bla bla bla…" She offered him either u go out or i will. My friend just sat outside his house waiting for his dad. He then went in with his dad. And then it was OKay. I just could not belive it. I mean fair enough for my sake she could just have taken a Hijab or locked her self in a room or something. Geeez man the guy is only 13 yr old ?.,., I just dont understand how they can utter such crap, when his brother cam home he fully supported his wife. Can anyone plz thorw some light on this ?
I mean this girl goes to UNi with a Hijab and interacts with guys at UNI but at Home everything becomes NONOFFICIAL and thus one has to do all this ?
Your views will be helpfull
SST
talk about hypocrisy!
hijab is enough ... 'not under one roof' is never heard of...
I guess that is the end of this post. 
Right there in black and white.
husband's brother is not mehram so she shud observe "pardah" form him....
but the not being under one roof crap is a bit too much....
she cud have been in her own room....
Do people really believe:
Sincle seclusion with the brother-in-law usually results in Fitnah and destruction of one’s Deen.
Were the people of 7th century Arabia really that promiscuous? That’s a little much isn’t it? It was CHECKED AND APPROVED by the Fatwa Department, so someone is pretty serious about its accuracy.
^
ever heard of the saying "prevention is better than cure"????
I support the lady. She is very conscious of her status in hell or paradise, and she should be!
so now women can’t feel comfortable with her husband’s immediate family either…AMAZING! :k:
This situation is called 'islamo phobia'.Where a person(or a group of people) act according to his interpretation of islam without any wisdom and regard less of concequences.
In the case you mentioned, the lady should have gone to her room and locked herself in, If she is wise enough. The person she is asking to get out is rightfull resident of the house. She has no right to ask him to vacate the house.On the contrary, she has created a bitter feeling in the mind of her very close relative.Who may not be able ask her advice or take her into his confidence.
Islam is and will be the reilgon, full of wisdom, as it was in the early days.Sadly today islam is followed like cult mostly.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Seminole: *
It was CHECKED AND APPROVED by the Fatwa Department, so someone is pretty serious about its accuracy.
[/QUOTE]
seminole, there are tons of these "fatwa departments" here and there. If I wanted to wate my time I could produce other rulings which would say that she should obseve her hijab but thats about it.
Re: Can some1 Help vid this ?
Let me also prove that this lady is a hypocrate..
** She simply REFUSED to be in the HousE with him , saying " we cant be under one roof and bla bla bla....**
okay so lets just assume that she could not be under teh same roof with a na-mehram..
** My friend just sat outside his house waiting for his dad. He then went in with his dad. And then it was OKay.**
and since when did the father in law become mehram? so she could be under the same roof with TWO na-mehrams at the same time and that is all fine, but not if it was ONE.
additionally, if that is what she really believed in i.e. she could nto be under the same roof with a na-mehram..how come she let teh father in law in the house..how come she did not tell him the same thing..
..and supposing that she could not bully him like she bullyed teh lil 13 year old, how come she did not LEAVE the house as she had suggested to the kid?
*brother cam home he fully supported his wife. Can anyone plz thorw some light on this ? *
This jackass should move and get his own place.
*I mean this girl goes to UNi with a Hijab and interacts with guys at UNI but at Home everything becomes NONOFFICIAL and thus one has to do all this ?
Your views will be helpfull *
She is an idiot. thats it. and her husband is a bigger idiot.
he should stop living with his family, and find himself a place and do whatever the hell he wants to do there.
^ Peer sahab, there is some mistake !
Father in law is in fact a mehrem . Please check it before someone do the bombardment with Quranic references and ahadees. :)
As Code_red said above, Mr. Fraudia i think you have just made an idiot out of your own self. I hate using harsher words for someone such as yourself but you're calling someone else an idiot who is only obeying an islamic ruling (the ruling may be debatable in your eyes).
Please check surah nur, it has a list of those you should do pardah from (your definition of pardah could be different from mine.. but nevertheless the mentioned people are those whom you must have extra caution towards)
The case should not be looked at by isolating it.. i.e. by saying it was only a 14 yr old kid. Kids hit puberty around 13-14 and it is stupid to keep referring to them as kids. I have known kids as young as 13 raping girls younger than them. and this is not from pre-islamic arabic but from our current world today. The lady did the best thing possible. She understood the boy to be an adult and a na-mehram. She understood that she should not be alone with one (i.e. in her own house) and hence prevented him. What the hell is wrong with that?
Unis etc are different since you are never alone with another person i.e. almost always with a crowd. Also it would have been wiser on her part had she just gone to her room and let the guy come in.
yaar i dont have any fatwas or ahadeeth to back this up, but to my simple observing eye, this seems a little bit too much. And Farudia raised a good point:how can a bro-in-law be non-mehram and her father-in-law is not? And its doesnt seem to me that the kid was visiting her in her house. They perhaps live under the same house. Shes gonna make him stand outside everyday until somebody else comes home???I mean, unless he gives her a reason to not be in the same house as him, this seems very ridiclous to me.
PS:i am not saying that wait for something bad to happen, but atleast keep an eye out. WOmen always know when someone is trying to eye them etc.
MY two cents
Ammar and Cod-red
I stand corrected in terms of father-in-law being na-mehram. I was confusing purdah which is required and not the technical defintion of na mehram. Thanks Code-red for bringing my attention to my statement. I had not intended it to be read as I know it was read now.
however, there are ways of solving this issue. dividing home into zanana and mardana areas. staying in her room, having the kid stay in his room.
In a joint family system there are no other ways to solve this issue. I am assuming that the 13 yr old is in school, and his elder brother probably working or in college or both..
..the challenge this presents is..anytime that the husband is not home, his kid bro can not be there either? the husband has to leave for work at 7, and the kid does not need to go to school till 8, do they kick him out at 7 as well? His school gets done at 3..the elder bro is not done until later. Does the kid stay out until then?
ammar the point can be summarized in what your last sentence was "Also it would have been wiser on her part had she just gone to her room and let the guy come in."
so if that was wiser in your book..was there a real reason to create all the fuss and play the holy card?
gracias
however I did want to address one quick note here
- She understood that she should not be alone with one (i.e. in her own house) and hence prevented him. What the hell is wrong with that?*
This is what is wrong with that...
Since the kid went there and then his dad, it appears that this is a joint family system. In which case it is not just her house but the house of her father in law, where she lives with her husband, and there are other people who live in that house as well e.g. her brother in law.
My assessment may not be correct and there may be a case where the kid needed to go in his brother's house and the father showed up by chance as well.. but my read is that this is a joint family system and the response is based on that scenario.
She could have observed her beliefs and just let the kid in and gone to her room if she is that strict about it, however she made him suffer needlessly.
I think it was very polite of the kid to wait outside and not tell her that he needs to come in and she can go outside if she wants.
Interestingly enough, I'm about to have a similar situation.
My current situation is that I live in my parents house, with my parents. My brother lives in his own apartment, some distance away. My brother's wife lives a couple thousand miles away, in Pakistan.
My parents are now moving to another country, and leaving me to live alone in their house. However, my brother has declared that once my parents leave, he will move back in, together with his wife.
Because I agree with the above fatwa, I was quite worried about the idea of my sister-in-law moving into the same house as me. It would be alright whilst my brother is still at home, when it is the three of us, but should he ever go out on a weekend alone, or should I come back from work before him, it would be just me and my sister-in-law alone in the house.
Following what people in this thread are saying, would it therefore be best if, should I find that I'm at home alone with her, I just shut myself in my room? (Note: Since I'm pretty much a self-confessed geek, most of the time when I'm at home and not eating, going to the bathroom, praying or sleeping, I'm shut up in my room glued to my computer anyway..... so this wouldn't really involve a significant change in my lifestyle)
thats what islam has told us…
i think it is hadith that “daiwar to maut hay” …
but islam has relaxations in some cases…
the women did right thing…she has every right to do this…
Maddie
I am assuming that you have a traditional victorian. 2-4 levels row house.
I would suggest that you create a mardana and zanana section of the house. That will be easy for you as well as your bhabhi. Plus I suppose that if you guys observe this, you probably do not have mixed gatherings anyways..so no harm done. you can use the fornt and back room as men's section and use front entrance for that. side entrance for women..a nd they have the den, area with the rest room.
as far as your own area goes, take one of teh floors which is just your area, could be the top room area so once u are there you are not in the way..or they can have the top room so then they have their private area which you dont need to go thru to get downstairs.
This way you would not have to be secluded into your room. you could have access to a sitting area, Loo etc. and not be in one another's way. Plus she can entertain her pals without having to have them sit with other guys, and like wise for you and your bro, u guys can entertain your pals/visitors without being in her way.
It is not very hard to do. The people I know who have done this have made a pretty easy to use system.
Plus you would not have to be kicked out of the house if your brother needs to travel for work anytime :)
Fraudia yes. In all situations they should work to find a way which suits everyone. I didn't like her being called an idiot based on one story you heard from someone.. maybe it happened once and not again, and they were quick to chalk out a solution. The mardana/zanana soln seems like a fairly workable one.
The father in law becomes a mehram of the girl after marriage, and similarly the mother in law is considered mehram for the guy (as far as I have understood) hence if the father were there it would have been a non-issue.