Does your partner know that your ex’s e-mails still rest in your inbox’s secret folder? Or for that matter, does your partner know that you have an e-mail ID that’s very, very private? Or do you wish you had told him or her about that new pair of designer and frightfully expensive (of course!) sunglasses that you have stashed in your cupboard? It is said that honesty is the best policy, but do you think ‘absolute honesty’ is actually the best policy when it comes to relationships? Do you believe in sharing everything - every thought, every secret desire, every feeling - with your partner? Or do you think it’s not necessary to share everything; a few secrets after all, add that bit of spice to your relationship!
Re: Can secrets hurt a relationship?
Depends on what kind of secret.Partners want to feel like they know all the important stuff that actually matters.
Re: Can secrets hurt a relationship?
It depends what are going to be the consequences of revealing those secrets. Some secrets should better remain buried .
You have to use your judgment when it comes to sharing your secrets with your partner. And remember if you have the right to hide some skeletons in the closet so does your partner.
Also nobody needs to get mad why something was kept secret by their partner , they might have a very good reason and explanation , it might not be good enough for you but they made a decision at the time which they though was right decision. We all make wrong decisions and wrong choices , none of us is perfect.
Re: Can secrets hurt a relationship?
No I wont keep my email account/password from my wife.
Those things my break her heart.
Re: Can secrets hurt a relationship?
Some people are very sensitive and telling them such big secrets may not be a good idea. If you feel like you can and you should then go for it. But if you know that it's going to impact your relationship in a bad way or hurt the other person then it's okay to refrain from it.
My husband and I know each others passwords for everything- personal/school/work emails, facebook, etc.. or maybe that's because we have the same password for all of it.. haha.. but there have been times when he hasn't been able to access the internet and asked me to check his emails if he needed to.. and vice versa. Most of the time he tells me to log into his facebook and write on someone's wall for their birthday, etc. We don't sit and pry through each others' stuff because there isn't anything to hide and he's not even the kind of person who has the interest or the time to do things like that. The only time he was mean was when I gave him the PW for my GS and he said he was going to delete my account because he has to hear lots and lots of stories of GS everyday from me :D
Re: Can secrets hurt a relationship?
Past relationships should be buried forever once your married. Meaning there shouldnt be lingering emails/pictures/etc that your spouse might find and feel a bit insecure about. You dont have to disclose everything but you DO need to let it go forever once you say "Qubool hai".
Hiding my shopping habits is a different story...thats not serious at all.
Re: Can secrets hurt a relationship?
^lol
I hope shopping don't become a problem.
It depends what are going to be the consequences of revealing those secrets. Some secrets should better remain buried . You have to use your judgment when it comes to sharing your secrets with your partner. And remember if you have the right to hide some skeletons in the closet so does your partner.
well said.
Happens only in an ideal world.
Re: Can secrets hurt a relationship?
can secrets hurt a relatiosnhip, of course.
it depends on the stength of relationship, personality of the people, the nature of the secret, and when it took place (since u ahve been together, near past, a decade ago..etc) I really dont need or know her passwords, and vice versa. we trust each other enough that if there are any secrets they are not relevant and they dont matter to our life now. In general we are very open about our life.
as far as secret shopping, its not an issue unless it gets out of hand, I never keep an eye on what she is buying or vice versa, again trusting each other to make the right choices.
Re: Can secrets hurt a relationship?
^ did I tell you before to write a book?
Re: Can secrets hurt a relationship?
Thanks Lois, very falteering, but I am no expert and I am not saying anything new. all this is written before, people will get the same advise from many others. plus this applies to me, not to others.
the foundation of any relationship is the individuals..
the more balanced, mature, they are in their outlook they better it will be for the relationship.
we try to solve relationship problems..'relationship" does not think or act, we do..the problems are individual's problems.
and for individual problems people need guidance counselors and shrinks, of which I am niether.
but i did stay at a holiday in express last night.
Re: Can secrets hurt a relationship?
No relationships hurt my secrets ......
No relationships hurt my secrets ......
hmmm so the problem is with having no relationships.
get into some relationships pronto
You dont think people can enter a relationship wholeheartedly and leave their past behind???
Are you sure?
**Absolutely they can enter a new relationship and be committed to the new person wholeheartedly but as for the leaving the past behind completely, I don’t think thats probable. You are who you are and you’re defined by events that took place in your past. You can beat all odds to get what you want but you never forget who you are and the lesson you learned along the way. That is your past. If someone had a drug addiction, they are always prone to it.
Your past is alway following you. Its only a matter of accepting it.** 
Re: Can secrets hurt a relationship?
I have no secrets from my hub and he has none from me...we know that each has had prior relationships and leave it at that...unless its a problem that needs to be discussed. Keeping something secret in order to "keep the love going" is wrong. Its living a lie, something I'd not ever be comfortable doing. If you love your spouse, lay it all bare, as much as is needed to convey whatever the problem may be...spare the details unless they are asked for, nothing else is necessary, needed or wanted.
and X2, man-o-man that holiday in express comment was just the BEST!! You da man man!!
I have no secrets from my hub and he has none from me...we know that each has had prior relationships and leave it at that...unless its a problem that needs to be discussed. Keeping something secret in order to "keep the love going" is wrong. Its living a lie, something I'd not ever be comfortable doing. If you love your spouse, lay it all bare, as much as is needed to convey whatever the problem may be...spare the details unless they are asked for, nothing else is necessary, needed or wanted. and X2, man-o-man that holiday in express comment was just the BEST!! You da man man!!
Don't be so sure honey!
j/k
Re: Can secrets hurt a relationship?
^you obviously arent married or in a meaningful relationship!
j/k
:)
^you obviously arent married or in a meaningful relationship! j/k
:)
Men grow old, they don't grow good. :D
Its great to see you defending your man. Lots of respect for those who do that. :biggthumb