CAN A MUSLIM WOMAN DIVORCE HER HUSBAND?

CAN A MUSLIM WOMAN DIVORCE HER HUSBAND?

The question was asked in the thread, Divorce by e-mail: CAN A MUSLIM WOMAN DIVORCE HER HUSBAND?
The Islamic code of Khula makes that possible but the question is: WOULD SHE DARE ASK FOR DIVORCE?

Most muslim women Dare not! After all thousands of Pakistani women and girls are stabbed, burned or maimed every year by husbands, fathers or brothers who believe they have brought them shame by being unfaithful, seeking a DIVORCE or refusing to marry a man chosen by the family. If a victim dies, the crime becomes an “honor killing,” a term that has come to symbolise the cruel irony of a conservative Islamic society that purports to shelter women, yet often CONDONES savage violence against them in the name of male and family honor.

Human Rights Commission of Pakistan reported that in 1998 and 1999, more than 850 women were killed by their husbands, brothers, fathers or other relatives in Punjab province alone. According to lawyers and women’s rights advocates, many such cases are never brought to trial. They say police are easily bribed or persuaded by the men’s families to dismiss the complaints as “domestic accidents.” Many victims, especially uneducated women confined to their husband’s homes, are too intimidated to press charges.
“Sections of society continued to regard any expression of independence by women as an infamy, and the only way to restore the family’s honor was to promptly put an end to the life of the transgressor,” the Human Rights Commission said last year. The subordination of women was so “routine,” the group noted, that domestic violence was widely considered “NORMAL” behaviour–even by the victims themselves.

Moreover, under another Islamic legal concept called qisas and diyat, a blood relative of a victim can formally “forgive” a crime in exchange for payment, with specific sums prescribed for damage to each body part. Whether the codes of qisas and diyat contribute to violence against women is open to discussion.

ARE MEN SUPERIOR UNDER ISLAM & QURAN?
[an-Nisa’ 4:34] “Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded. As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Lo! Allah is ever High, Exalted, Great.” (translator: Pickthall)

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more strength than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient”. (4:34) (translator: Abdullah Yusuf Ali)

“Men have authority because Allah has made the one superior to the other, and because they spend their wealth to maintain them…” (4:34) (translator: M.M. Khatib)

Men have a degree of advantage over women. This concerns the qualities of leadership, surveillance and maintenance which are bestowed on men. To this end the wife must neither receive male visitors nor accept gifts from them without the husband’s approval. The husband has the legal right to restrict his wife’s freedom of movement such as leaving the house without his permission. Thus the husband can forbid her family visiting her or his wife from visiting her family.

Islamic law recognizes the husband’s right to DISCIPLINE his wife for disobedience. Quran [an-Nisa’ 4:34] referring to woman clearly stipulates: “………As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them……”

Rape against woman can only be proven if there are four adult male witnesses. A female’s testimony is not even taken as half-value in the case of capital crimes. If the case is unproven, the woman can be charged with fornication which carries the death penalty. There are thousands of women in jail in Pakistan charged with zina.

In Egypt the punishment for an adulteress is two years’ prison sentence. For the man the punishment is only six months. If a man is caught in the act with a prostitute, he is not punished but used as a witness against her.

Man can have up to four wives. Islamic laws of inheritance, similarly, discriminates against females and widows.

Beginning to notice a pattern here! Knowing what you know now, would you – a Woman, ask for a Divorce? Please note: the case is made for majority of women not well-offs or those born into liberal families.

Islam prefers to see marriage as a life-time commitment but if this is impossible then divorce may be necessary. In most cases the husband divorces the wife and loses his dowry. The least approved form of divorce is Talaq al-bida where the husband says to the wife: “Talaq. Talaq. Talaq”. Also irrevocable is Talaq al-Bain where the husband pronounces “Talaq” on three separate occasions. This is a less hasty form of divorce and so is more preferred.

A Woman, Under Islamic law of KHULA, may initiate a divorce against her husband as follows:
Khula’ is when wife has a dislike for her husband and ASKS HIM to divorce her in exchange of a sum, or all or part of her MAHR. In such a case, when the husband agrees to divorce, he forfeits the power of revocation, except when the wife agrees to take back the money or ransom she gave. It is not permissible for a woman to seek divorce from her husband unless she has borne ill-treatment from him or unless she has an acceptable reason which requires their separation. Said the Prophet, “If any woman asks her husband for a divorce without some strong reason, the fragrance of the Garden will be forbidden to her.”

Mubaraat is when dislike is mutual, and in this case also the wife has to pay some ransom to the husband. However, the ransom paid in the case of Mubaraat should not exceed the Mahr. This divorce is also absolute.

If the husband himself wishes to pronounce the formula of Khula’ divorce and his wife’s name is, say, Fatima, he should say after receiving the property: “Zawjati Fatimatu Khala’tuha 'ala ma bazalat” and should also say as a recommended precaution: “Hiya Taliq” i.e. "I have given Khula’ divorce to my wife Fatima in lieu of what she has given me, and she is free’. And if the wife is identified, it is not necessary to mention her name in Talaqul Khula’ and also in Mubarat Divorce.

Under Khula – Judges, in Egypt, for example, give the couple three months to try to effect a reconciliation and six months if they have children. An immediate divorce will be granted at the end of the trial period if they don’t change their minds. Scholars admit that under laws of Khula – only rich women would risk losing dowry or alimony; for the poor – the law means very little. However, it’s a step in the right direction!

When Morocco put forth proposals to ban polygamy, raise the legal age for marriage from 14 to 18 and allow women half their husbands’ wealth in case of divorce or death, the fundamentalists took to the street in angry demonstrations, loudly chanting:
“We defend Islam with our bodies and souls”

Permit me to summarise the subject post in bullet forms with my opinion next to it for your reading pleasure.
Readers may chose to be hypocrites and deny it all or engage in a dialogue & understanding!

1) ARE MEN SUPERIOR UNDER ISLAM & QURAN?.........Yes, Agreed!
2) Islamic law recognises the husband's right to DISCIPLINE his wife for disobedience.......Agreed!
3) Islamic legal concept called qisas and diyat, a blood relative of a victim can formally "forgive" a crime in exchange for payment........Agreed!
4) Rape against woman can only be proven if there are four adult male witnesses .....Agreed!
5) A female's testimony is not even taken as half-value in the case of capital crimes......Agreed!
6) Islamic laws of inheritance, similarly, discriminates against females and widows...... Agreed!
7) In Egypt the punishment for an adulteress is two years' prison sentence. For the man the punishment is only six months...... Agreed!
8)The least approved form of divorce is Talaq al-bida where the husband says to the wife: "Talaq. Talaq. Talaq"......Agreed!
9) It is not permissible for a woman to seek divorce from her husband unless she has borne ill-treatment..... Agreed!
10) Man can have up to four wives..... Agreed!
11) According to lawyers and women's rights advocates, many such cases (violence against women) are never brought to trial..... Agreed!
12)They say police are easily bribed or persuaded by the men's families to dismiss the complaints as "domestic accidents."...... Agreed!
13) Many victims, especially uneducated women confined to their husband's homes, are too intimidated to press charges......Agreed!
14) Sections of society continued to regard any expression of independence by women as an infamy.....Agreed!
15) the only way to restore the family's honor was to promptly put an end to the life of the transgressor(women).......Agreed!
16) Domestic violence was widely considered "NORMAL" behaviour--even by the victims themselves......Agreed!
17) WOULD SHE DARE ASK FOR DIVORCE? Most Muslim women Dare not!.......Agreed!

The conclusion is that women can never divorce a man no matter what once she makes a mistake of getting married.

Ranoo jee why are you soo impatient to make conclusions i bet you didnt read all of his first post did you???

and logical...in islam women and men are equal...except some aspects of life.

Jaawan


Till next time**Keep_It_Simple_Stupid**©

Unlike you I don't take hours to read. Obviously your idea of equality and fairness is very different then rest of us.

1) ARE MEN SUPERIOR UNDER ISLAM & QURAN?.........Yes, Agreed!
No disagree. Mena are superior in certain aspects only. Just like a woman is superior in other areas. Remember the Paradise is under the feet of a woman and NOT under the feet of a man. Men and woman are EQUAL but not identical.

2) Islamic law recognises the husband's right to DISCIPLINE his wife for disobedience.......Agreed!
True but only in the case of her sharing his bed with others. How would one feel, if the other party is cheating.

3) Islamic legal concept called qisas and diyat, a blood relative of a victim can formally "forgive" a crime in exchange for payment........Agreed!
It is CAN and not MUST. If looked at carefully, forgiving others is better than killing.

4) Rape against woman can only be proven if there are four adult male witnesses .....Agreed!
The concept of witnesses is to make sure that accused is sentenced beyond reasonable doubt. If DNA test can prove rape, it is as good as four witnesses.

5) A female's testimony is not even taken as half-value in the case of capital crimes......Agreed!
Female testimony is taken half value. Two female witnesses are equal to one male.
I dont think the nature of crime has anything to do with it. But I will look into it.

6) Islamic laws of inheritance, similarly, discriminates against females and widows...... Agreed!
No it does not, if looked into it with research. You see Islam has freed woman from the headaches of earning livelihood. It is man's job to take care of her.

7) In Egypt the punishment for an adulteress is two years' prison sentence. For the man the punishment is only six months...... Agreed!
Dont know. If it is found in Egypt it does't necessarily mean Islam.

8)The least approved form of divorce is Talaq al-bida where the husband says to the wife: "Talaq. Talaq. Talaq"......Agreed!
It has become a custom in some Muslim counties. But this is not what Islam prescribes.

9) It is not permissible for a woman to seek divorce from her husband unless she has borne ill-treatment..... Agreed!
ill-treatment, unacceptable behaviour, not taking care off, not being able to make love to her and many more similar reasons. But are't they the same for man.

10) Man can have up to four wives..... Agreed!
Woman cant have four husbands and very rightly so, who will accept the children??

11) According to lawyers and women's rights advocates, many such cases (violence against women) are never brought to trial..... Agreed!
So? Islam does not prescribe that.

12)They say police are easily bribed or persuaded by the men's families to dismiss the complaints as "domestic accidents."...... Agreed!
??

13) Many victims, especially uneducated women confined to their husband's homes, are too intimidated to press charges......Agreed!
???

14) Sections of society continued to regard any expression of independence by women as an infamy.....Agreed!
How do you blame Islam for that??

15) the only way to restore the family's honor was to promptly put an end to the life of the transgressor(women).......Agreed!
????

16) Domestic violence was widely considered "NORMAL" behaviour--even by the victims themselves......Agreed!
?????

17) WOULD SHE DARE ASK FOR DIVORCE? Most Muslim women Dare not!.......Agreed!
So you can blame the fuedal society around her, but not Islam.

Rani

Muslim women are allowed to seek divorce if they so desire. Do not genrealize beahvoir of so called Islamic countries. Its not Islam, its culture. BTW are you Indian ? If you are, you should look what goes on in your own country. You guys are famous for burning women alive for not bringing enough dowry. Also sharing women with the rest of the male members in the household. So please do not jump to conclusions, it does not serve any purpose but creates confusion.

regards,

Kaleem

Also sharing women with the rest of the male members in the household.<<

You are talking meaningless crap.
Please read Logical's argument and refute them instead of abusing me.

[This message has been edited by Rani (edited May 09, 2000).]

Ranoo jee..what is my idea of equality? Can you tell me(i hope your not pre-judging me)
First of all YOU tell me what kinda equality are you looking for?
If you dont have hours of time to read something like that than please dont babble and rave and rant about equality here...if you want something you gota work for it...we cant just sink info into your head..you need to read it...if you cant read it stop camplaining!

And yes women can desire divorce but her husband has to give her...she cant just GET her self divorce...she has to ask her husband that she wants divorce and if husband gives she is good to go.
One more thing TRY TO HELP YOUR SELF PEOPLE WHEN IT COMES TO ISLAM>! dont just rely on others to give you info search for it if you care!

Jaawan


Till next time**Keep_It_Simple_Stupid**©

Jawaan..>>And yes women can desire divorce but her husband has to give her...she cant just GET her self divorce...she has to ask her husband that she wants divorce and if husband gives she is good to go.<<

Not quite so Jawaan jee. A woman has to ask the court or Qazi to seek khula. Under the light of arguments, court compells the husband to divorce her.

There is no IF in it.

Hey Kaleem, Jaawan:

Read my lips -Stick to topic!

Obviously, we muslims would love to keep the world out of our affairs but that a'int gonna happen -- Tough luck!

Kaleem - you say ". Its not Islam, its culture."
RIGHT! IT'S ISLAMIC CULTURE ..
Then, ask your ulemas to put a STOP to it! Why don't they? READ logical's post again re: question of women divorce - you and Jaawan!

Kaleem asks: "BTW are you Indian ?"
Kaleem, are you stupid ?

Jaawan says: "what kinda equality are you looking for?"

Rani and others are looking to understand how a 'supposedly religion of Peace' can be so intolerant & so, SO out of time & context!

Adbulmalick

This question has no relevance with the topic being discussed here, lekin what is Islamic culture? Do you know the ’age’ of the word culture?

Ps. Why did you say YOUR ulema if you are a Muslim? Just curious.

Sabah,

pls educate yourself. Islam encompasses everything! Isn't that's why, we proudly claim-"Islam is a way of life" and, that way includes culture.

Did you note - I used 'we' to denote my faith; Most of the ulemas of today do not meet my criteria of 'tolerance' and 'compassion' and henceforth they are simply put "they" .

Abdulmalick

Can you make up your mind / Do you really believe that what Rani and logical are saying is true ? Also, Culture and Islam are very different. Its not the islamic culture that you referred to, its pakistani culture. two different things. Please refrain from calling names, because I believe she is Indian and did you see that she could not refute the statements about her country.

Rani

Actually this is not meaningless crap i am talking about, I saw a documentary on TLC (the learning channel) whcih showed this horrific crime against women. According to their studies this happens a lot in India and is always covered up.

Kaleem

Kaleem

Islam affects all aspect of our life! Yes or No?

Islam, therefore, affects Pakistani & Saudi, Jordanian, Algerian, Sudanese, Nigerian culture. In Islam, you cannot separate one from the other -- do you agree?

Logical & Rani have rights to expressing their opinions!

Rani doesn't have to refute your statements re: her country; this thread is not about that. So, read my lips again - Stick to the topic! BTW - you do know how to think, don't you?

OK Abdulmalick Sahib,

To saitsfy your demands, Muslim women can divorce their husbands if they so desire.

I find your sarcasm rather funny so I will go along with it.

regards,

Kaleem

[quote]
Originally posted by Kaleem:
**Abdulmalick

Rani

Actually this is not meaningless crap i am talking about, I saw a documentary on TLC (the learning channel) whcih showed this horrific crime against women. According to their studies this happens a lot in India and is always covered up.

Kaleem**
[/quote]

Horrific crimes are commited against women all over the world. Even in Pakistan. I don't give a damn about theory, I'm talikng about what happens in real life. The islamic "culture" is no superior to any other as far as its treatment of women is concerned. If you have money and influence then life is nice and if you don't you are subjected to all sorts of humiliation and injustice - yes, in the name of religion! - without any real rights. So the answer is women from well to do and influential families can get diovorces easily. Most of the others, no.

As far as female abuse is concerned why are you peopleonly concentrating on asian countries? It is universal. Males in the west are just as bad if not worse. It is not a question of which culture you are living in, which religion, or which country you are living in, men will always be the dominant force. Not because they have higher intellectual capacity but because they are physically stronger, and when they are beaten by the woman in any argument they will resort to their fists because they have no other answer. I am not generalising, so any males reading this dont take it personally. I have seen it happen so many times but thankfully it hasn`t happened to me YET!!!!

desinger........>>but because they are physically stronger, .........>>

If you recall Iqbal, the great poet of East, once said

Takdeer kay Qazi ka yeh fatwa hai azal say
hai jurm-a-zaeefi key saza marag-e-munajaat

I have seen it happen so many times but thankfully it hasn`t happened to me YET!!!!<<

So relieved to know that. He is definately not more intellegent than you are. Would he be less stronger than you are? Or is he so much Allah fearing!!! Or is it that you usually let him win the argument?? :)

Designer

Welcome to the Board!

Since majority on this Board are muslims, I guess it's only natural that we be CONCERNED accordingly.

Abuses in Non-Muslim countries/Communities have been discussed on this forum in the past.