Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
What is the POINT in following a culture thats going to cause drama and interfere in privacy of a couple?? It's time to move and think for ourselves rather than blindly following what our ridiculous culture teaches us. Why should women have to deal with this crap?
See, you automatically assume that sticking to this culture harms the couple of adversely affects their relationship. I'm not saying don't live separately, you mistake my stance. I'm saying if a situation arises, just compromise and live. If his parents cannot live alone, he should be able to bring them over and live with them. Why would any caring wife object? Give me one good reason.
And crap? People never see the good side. I'm not talking about a joint family system where Chacha, Mamu, Behen, Bhai, etc. all live together. I'm talking about parents with their sons/daughters. I for one would be honoured to take care of my parents when they reach the age where they need support. I don't know a child who won't want to help them at that time.
So he should have discussed this prior to marriage. He should marry a woman whos willing to put up with his parents.
I agree, he should explore this kind of situation before marriage.
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
^Isn't it more practical to have ur parents move in with you?? Esp when u have kids..
It's crazy to me that sons live with their wives and kids out of one or two bedrooms and often with his other brothers or younger sisters still there as well..
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
Most Pakistani families in the UK do it because they don't know any different, doesn't make it right or perfect tho, majority of Mirpuri families marry their kids off to their cousins whether they want to or not, another ex of not being able to 'shed' parts of culture that tend to cause problems.
More affluent families defo don't practise it as much, we don't know any wealthy desi families who ask their DILs to move in with them long-term, down here in London at least it's seen as a bit old-fashioned..
I know UAE and the Arab culture very well thanx, my best mate is Lebanese and we go to the UAE at least twice a year (prob getting married there as well :))
Eh I'm not talking about Mirpuris or cousin-marriages. And like I said, it depends on family to family. Atleast all the affluent families I know have a 'parents-with-son' arrangement or 'son-with-parents' arrangement. I've never seen it fail in our social circle. MashaAllah/Al7amdliAllah. I'm not against couples living separately. Its well within their rights. But we're talking about a particular situation. Hence my argument.
Hell, my parents live in UAE and my grandparents are against moving abroad. They do however come and go as they please and my mum even took care of my granddad and my grandma whenever they've needed it. Not saying everyone should do it. Just saying, in certain situations, its not really giving up your life or whatever.
Hey now, Levants are very different from Emaratis/Khaleejis in general. I know quite a few Emarati families where they've got a shared system. Ooh MashaAllah on the marriage. Say Hello when you come by! :)
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
^Isn't it more practical to have ur parents move in with you?? Esp when u have kids..
It's crazy to me that sons live with their wives and kids out of one or two bedrooms and often with his other brothers or younger sisters still there as well..
Oh I never said that parents+siblings. And never in such a small space. They might hear you in the throes of passion... Now that would be awkward... :p
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
^That would be the major drawback for me.. Seriously dunno how couples cope in those situations..
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
Deeba- you said arabs looks down upon on living with your parents, what about afghans/Persians?
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
Hahaha! So while I was in London, I had a colleague from Gujranwala, Pakistan. So we're sitting during lunch and he's telling me this story. Its kinda funny and relevant.
So he's out one night just like out and chilling with his mates and all. He comes home at night and walks through the main door. So he's full of fluid and needs to take a pee. So they've got like a G+1+2 floor house. Each floor entrance is a living room and then bedrooms and washrooms and all that. I hope that picture is clear. Either way, that's not whats relevant. So each couple in the family occupies a floor with him sharing with his mum and dad.
So he's like I walked into the house rushing cos he wants to pee in the first available toilet, walk near the living room on the ground floor and I hear my brother and sister-in-law going at it. He's like **** and walks up the 1st floor. There, he steps near the entrance and hears his uncle and auntie working it. So he's like F**K! He climbs the stairs and enters the 2nd floor and his parents bed is creaking wildly hahaha! He's like 'Kurri Yavvay, Sareyan Ne Ajj Hi Sulla Karni Si!' (He's hella Punjabi so he does swear in his stories)
So he had to walk back down and pee in the backyard :p
Re: Can a Man Invite His Parents To Live With Him?
I guess not so funny over the internet. A lot funnier when told in Urdu. :(