I was brought up in totally different environment, totally opposite to what I believe and practice now. The selection of our beliefs makes us, not our environment.
A good way to keep a check on our actions is to continuously relate them with actions of our ideal. For example, in this case the question to be answered is " Did my ideal himself had JUST female friends in his life or did he encourage it ?"
A useful technique of the devil is that he knows that you would never do something wrong if he says it directly to you, so he brings you to it slowly, step by step. First AssalamoAlaikum to na-mehram, then how are you ?, then a bit of chit chat........etc. I have seem most cases of Just friends ending in a disaster sooner or later, one way or the other. There is no "barakah" in a relationship forbidden by the ultimate lord. You and I don't know our body more than our creator, so let us follow the manual he has sent along with it.
The situation can be compared with the other examples in life, where we always start slowly thinking that we would be able maintain a balance. But after sometime step by step we move towards extreme.
In case of a smoker: "I am not a chain smoker. I just smoke once in while just for fun. I can leave it whenever I want".
But as the time passes, tensions increases due to economic and family problems, the amount of smoking also increases....
In case of a drinker: "I am not an addict drinker. I just have it once in a while with friends. It is disgusting to be over drunk and lose one's consciousness and respect". BUT after his mother or son dies, or he has a huge financial loss or an accident which ruins his career, he turns into an addict drinker.
*In case of a A person who watches movies: *"I just watch good movies without any vulgar language or immoral scenes". But as time passes he forgets his own words, as his definition of vulgarity changes with time...
In the end, the more we keep ourselves away from the fire, the more we increase the chances of saving ourselves from its heat. The following hadith helps a lot when we seek guidance for such topics.
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From an-Nu’maan ibn Basheer (radiyallaahu ‘anhu) who said that I heard Allaah’s Messenger (salallaahu ‘alaihi wa’sallam) say: That which is lawful is clear, and that which is forbidden is clear, and between them are doubtful matters about which many of the people have no knowledge. So whoever avoids doubtful matters saves his Religion and his honour, and whoever falls into doubtful matters falls into what is forbidden. Just like a shepherd who grazes (his sheep) near to a private pasture (of another), he will soon stray on to it. Indeed for every king there is a private preserve. Indeed the preserve of Allaah are those things which He has forbidden. Indeed there is a piece of flesh in the body which if it is good, then the whole body is good, but if it is corrupt then the whole body is corrupt. Indeed it is the heart. Reported by al-Bukharee (Eng. Trans. 1/44/no.49) and Muslim (Eng. Trans. 3/840/no.3882)
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